ACIM Journal

[Anderz]

I will start testing my model of reality a bit more. That's like the scientific method where hypotheses are tested with empirical experiments. Key premises in my model are individual self, changeless foundation and evolution towards larger holons.

Is there an individual self? According to my model, yes Para Brahman is the changeless, eternal and infinite foundation of reality and the individual self is a unique and changeless point within Para Brahman.

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"Para Brahman (Sanskrit:परब्रह्मन्) (IAST: Para Brahman) is the "Highest Brahman" that which is beyond all descriptions and conceptualisations. It is described in Hindu texts as the formless (in the sense that it is devoid of Maya) spirit (soul) that eternally pervades everything, everywhere in the universe and whatever is beyond.[1]" - Wikipedia

In my model Para Brahman is the same as Indra's net. And the individual self is one of the eternal "jewels" in Indra's net. It sounds metaphorical but I have a precise definition of it as described in previous posts.

If, as I suggest, the individual self is a unique and changeless point, then it means that the self doesn't have free will. In ego consciousness we need the sense of free will to function or we would fall into a psychological depersonalization disorder.

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"Depersonalization disorder (DPD), also known as depersonalization/derealization disorder (DPDR),[3] is a mental disorder in which the person has persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization or derealization. Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or detached from one's self. Individuals experiencing depersonalization may report feeling as if they are an outside observer of their own thoughts or body, and often report feeling a loss of control over their thoughts or actions.[4]" - Wikipedia

However, my model is consistent with ACIM which says that the ego is a false perspective. So what can be tested is the idea of the individual self as being a changeless point. This is different than DPD in that the individual self is everything experienced instead of as a passive self separate from the manifested world.

[Anderz]

Interestingly, Leo described in his latest video an experience that to me sounded like the individual self as one of the jewels in Indra's net. Leo described it as being infinitely connected to everything and each connection in turn being infinitely connected; infinity within infinity within infinity going on forever. It sounded pretty scary actually, lol.

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"Far away in the heavenly abode of the great god Indra, there is a wonderful net which has been hung by some cunning artificer in such a manner that it stretches out infinitely in all directions. In accordance with the extravagant tastes of deities, the artificer has hung a single glittering jewel in each "eye" of the net, and since the net itself is infinite in dimension, the jewels are infinite in number. There hang the jewels, glittering "like" stars in the first magnitude, a wonderful sight to behold. If we now arbitrarily select one of these jewels for inspection and look closely at it, we will discover that in its polished surface there are reflected all the other jewels in the net, infinite in number. Not only that, but each of the jewels reflected in this one jewel is also reflecting all the other jewels, so that there is an infinite reflecting process occurring.[6]" - Wikipedia

In my model, the self actually is infinitely connected like that. Fortunately, in my model the manifested reality is always finite, so what Leo experienced ended according to my model, not actually because any free will choice by anyone, not even by God, but by manifested reality always being finite. So we will always snap out of seeming infinite and endless experiences like that.

[Anderz]

I discovered that ego activity is actually useful. It causes the activity to be individually focused. The problem is when we are stuck in only ego activity all the time, and when even the sense of self is trapped in the belief of being a separate entity always having to manage things as a separate doer.

One integral approach is to be able to shift one's awareness to the connected state of being and be able to shift back and forth into ego activity. Then the self has a foundation in the connected state while still being able to move in and out of focused ego activity.

I'm practicing this at the moment including experimenting with resting in the connected state. I believe that's what Eckhart Tolle and Sadhguru have talked about when they say that they don't need to think all the time. Even the thinking can be relaxed into the state of connectedness.

[Anderz]

At the end of this video Adyashanti mentioned what sounds similar to the state of connectedness I described in my previous post:

Adyashanti - An Inner Resource of Peace - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-9-N5HHq1M

[Anderz]

I'm a huge fan of Trump at the moment and I still believe that he is at Spiral Dynamics level Turquoise. But we will see, I can change my mind. There are things that I strongly disagree with Trump about such as the death penalty. I think he even wants to execute Edward Snowden! That's insanity. The death penalty is below stage Red in consciousness. Should the government recruit sadists as executioners who murder people in a calculated cold blood just because the prisoner himself or herself is a murderer or a "traitor" to the nation? Say hello to the Dark Ages. But other than things like that I think Trump is doing a great job.

What I need to become a more firm Trump supporter is that the Spygate scandal begins on a massive scale. I believe that will make many Bernie supporters vote for Trump instead of Biden. Bernie Sanders as President would have been fine too, but not Biden. I supported Marianne Williamson for President but she is probably too much ahead of the curve when it comes to consciousness development and has ended her campaign.

[Anderz]

Instead of struggling against the death penalty, wars and other ego insanities my strategy is to go one step further and question death itself. The ego is a death cult. The ego defends death because it's afraid of eternal life. And one possibility is that it's the ego itself that is the cause of death, even in animals.

Gaia consciousness is deathless as I see it because then we become the whole planet, and if one person in Gaia consciousness dies, the whole earth dies. The ego can get buried in Gaia but Gaia cannot be buried in Gaia. Let the dead bury the dead, as Jesus Christ said.

[Anderz]

The ego takes physical death totally for granted. ACIM is very clear about death:

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"Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem. 2 Is it not madness to think of life as being born, aging, losing vitality, and dying in the end? 3 We have asked this question before, but now we need to consider it more carefully. 4 It is the one fixed, unchangeable belief of the world that all things in it are born only to die. 5 This is regarded as "the way of nature," not to be raised to question, but to be accepted as the "natural" law of life. 6 The cyclical, the changing and unsure; the undependable and the unsteady, waxing and waning in a certain way upon a certain path,--all this is taken as the Will of God. 7 And no one asks if a benign Creator could will this.

In this perception of the universe as God created it, it would be impossible to think of Him as loving. 2 For who has decreed that all things pass away, ending in dust and disappointment and despair, can but be feared. 3 He holds your little life in his hand but by a thread, ready to break it off without regret or care, perhaps today. 4 Or if he waits, yet is the ending certain. 5 Who loves such a god knows not of love, because he has denied that life is real. 6 Death has become life's symbol. 7 His world is now a battleground, where contradiction reigns and opposites make endless war. 8 Where there is death is peace impossible.

Death is the symbol of the fear of God. 2 His Love is blotted out in the idea, which holds it from awareness like a shield held up to obscure the sun. 3 The grimness of the symbol is enough to show it cannot coexist with God. 4 It holds an image of the Son of God in which he is "laid to rest" in devastation's arms, where worms wait to greet him and to last a little while by his destruction. 5 Yet the worms as well are doomed to be destroyed as certainly. 6 And so do all things live because of death. 7 Devouring is nature's "law of life." 8 God is insane, and fear alone is real.

The curious belief that there is part of dying things that may go on apart from what will die, does not proclaim a loving God nor re-establish any grounds for trust. 2 If death is real for anything, there is no life. 3 Death denies life. 4 But if there is reality in life, death is denied. 5 No compromise in this is possible. 6 There is either a god of fear or One of Love. 7 The world attempts a thousand compromises, and will attempt a thousand more. 8 Not one can be acceptable to God's teachers, because not one could be acceptable to God. 9 He did not make death because He did not make fear. 10 Both are equally meaningless to Him." - ACIM M-27.1-4

 

[Anderz]

Oh. The death drive is billions of years old! I got reminded of that. The death drive is also sometimes called thanatos.

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"In classical Freudian psychoanalytic theory, the death drive (German: Todestrieb) is the drive toward death and destruction, often expressed through behaviors such as aggression, repetition compulsion, and self-destructiveness.[1][2] It was originally proposed by Sabina Spielrein in her paper "Destruction as the Cause of Coming Into Being"[3][4] (Die Destruktion als Ursache des Werdens)[5] in 1912, which was then taken up by Sigmund Freud in 1920 in Beyond the Pleasure Principle. This concept has been translated as "opposition between the ego or death instincts and the sexual or life instincts".[6] In Pleasure Principle, Freud used the plural "death drives" (Todestriebe) much more frequently than in the singular.[7]

The death drive opposes Eros, the tendency toward survival, propagation, sex, and other creative, life-producing drives. The death drive is sometimes referred to as "Thanatos" in post-Freudian thought, complementing "Eros", although this term was not used in Freud's own work, being rather introduced by Wilhelm Stekel in 1909 and then by Paul Federn in the present context.[8][9] Some scientists argue against the existence of this drive, arguing that there is little evidence that most people have a specific drive toward self-destruction. Subsequent psychoanalysts such as Jacques Lacan and Melanie Klein have defended the concept." - Wikipedia

I recently heard Roger Castillo and then in another video Rupert Spira talking about the past as possibly being only memories experienced now. I believe that's correct but also that the past is real. The entire history of the universe, even if instantly manifested in the now as timeless information, still has the timeline and experience of billions of years.

And throughout all of biological evolution death has been a necessary mechanism. So the death drive is an enormous instinct in us. I experimented with feeling the death drive and one sensation I got was a ghastly feeling in my chest area. Nasty! I will work with that a bit more and see if the death angst or what it is can be melted away with mindfulness practice.

[Anderz]

I came up with this speculative take on the death drive. A large part of what I call the ego armor is the death drive. The Wikipedia article said that Eros which includes the sexual drive is the opposite of Thanatos, the death drive. I see Eros as positive orgone (POR) and the death drive as deadly orgone (DOR). There is also neutral orgone (OR).

There is a lack of neutral orgone in ego consciousness, so there is a tension between the death drive and the sex drive in the ego. Children probably have a lot of neutral orgone. That would explain why many people in positions of power have sexual lust for children, because with their power they can get a lot of things, but not neutral orgone. So in their desperate subconscious need for neutral orgone they believe they can get it from children when they mistake positive orgone, or even deadly orgone (child sacrifice and other such horrors) for neutral orgone.

Neutral orgone needs to start flowing within the person, probably with an open heart as the center. And the neutral orgone melts away the death angst and balances the orgone energy within the whole body and mind.

Edited April 20, 2020 by Anderz

[Anderz]

I think I wrote in some previous post that death is real in third density and unreal in fourth and higher densities. So when ACIM talks about death as being unreal it then refers to fourth and higher densities. And fourth density as described by Ra in the Law of One is as I see it simply the same physical reality as on earth now with limitations removed.

This also explains Fermi's paradox.

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"The Fermi paradox, named after Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi, is the apparent contradiction between the lack of evidence for extraterrestrial civilizations and various high estimates for their probability (such as some optimistic estimates for the Drake equation).[1][2]" - Wikipedia

The Law of One says that earth is in a planetary quarantine. And the development of earth is likely the same as on other planets. So some planets are third density or lower and other planets are fourth density or higher. The third density civilizations are like our current civilization on earth and in planetary quarantine, so they can't visit us. And fourth density and higher civilizations cannot officially contact us yet because of the quarantine.

[Anderz]

David Wilcock said if I remember correctly that Ra in the Law of One said that 40% (or maybe it was 60%) of all civilizations in the universe are humans. I have been thinking that 100% of all civilizations are human! Because of a fractal as below so above principle, to make civilizations compatible with each other. Notice that beings of fifth density and higher can shapeshift their physical bodies so they don't have to look like humans but their original form is human I think.

And this is consistent with the Bible in my opinion, because Jesus said:

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"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." - John 14:2 (KJV)

My interpretation is that many mansions means many civilizations, and with humans in the likeness of God. And heaven in the Bible means fourth density and higher. And the first heaven means fourth density and the second heaven means fifth density and so on. And Revelation 21 talks about a NEW heaven and earth, which to me means a fourth density earth which is new because we haven't entered fourth density fully yet on earth.

Even Q confirms the idea of other civilizations in the universe:

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"Anonymous:

Q

Are we alone ?

Roswell ?

No.
Highest classification.
Consider the vastness of space.
Q" - Q post 2222

 

[Anderz]

The ego experiences itself as separate and therefore is incapable of real relationships. So conflicts are easier for the ego to manage than friendly interaction, since conflict to the ego indicates something genuine, and friendly means phony and fake. The ego is a bundle of fear and therefore is only capable of contrived friendliness since the ego foundation is distrust and protection.

Fear goes together with protection and conflict. And no matter how strong the protection is, as long as the fear remains, the ego is killing itself, literally. That's why ACIM says that being defenseless is true protection and why the Bible says that the meek shall inherit the earth (the non-meek will slaughter each other into oblivion). Meek doesn't mean a phony submissive ego state. Meek means beginner's mind and true defenselessness. When we need to defend ourselves we are always afraid and are attacking ourselves.

[Anderz]

Being defenseless in ego consciousness is impossible since the ego is defense. Being God-fearing is a genuine state in ego consciousness. To be God-loving in the full sense requires transcending the ego. When we talk about love of God in ego consciousness then that can be genuine as a belief, and a common term for that is to be a believer. It's a belief because our foundation in ego consciousness remains that of fear.

Jesus Christ talked about the defenseless state in the parable of being slapped on the cheek. Jesus said if someone slaps you. That will not happen with true defenselessness since as ACIM says that's true protection, that means being protected by the Holy Spirit. Jesus needed to use descriptions that we can understand in ego consciousness. Jesus also said:

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"“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." - Matthew 5:43-48

 

[Anderz]

One huge problem for the ego is that when it believes in the love of God it at the same time knows the security money gives. So which of these will dominate the subconscious of the person? A belief? Or a knowing? The answer is that the seeking of security in the form of money will dominate. And therefore money becomes the ego's master in place of God.

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"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." - Matthew 6:24

 

[Anderz]

Matthew 5 is very challenging, even for Christians. And it's the same message as in ACIM. It's only simple in oneness. Then it becomes clear intellectually yet still realization of oneness requires transcending the ego (denying ourselves as Jesus said) and that's essentially spiritual enlightenment so in practice it's still very challenging.

Here I found a good Christian presentation of Matthew 5:

 

[Anderz]

From a nondual perspective my money and Donald Trump's money are one. And here an even crazier and equally true statement: me and the Clinton Foundation are one. The ego treats things as separate objects, as isolated systems. There are no truly isolated systems. So what the ego believes to be absolute separate objects are just concepts, labels, which themselves are nondually interconnected with everything else.

The problem with the ego therefore is that it separates things too much. The ego has an exaggerated notion of separation. That's the central ego mistake, that's sin meaning missing the mark, meaning failing to perceive reality correctly. The result of the ego's mistaken idea of separation is fear.

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"Fear is deception. It attests that you have seen yourself as you could never be, and therefore look upon a world which is impos­sible. Not one thing in this world is true. It does not matter what the form in which it may appear. It witnesses but to your own illusions of yourself. Let us not be deceived today. We are the Sons of God. There is no fear in us, for we are each a part of Love Itself." - ACIM Lesson 240

 

[Anderz]

The ego is possessed by possessions. Personal possessions are labels such as "my money" and "my spouse". And because those labels are connected to deep survival instincts and protection they become very heavy, tense and made of fear.

Fear is a lowering of entropy. This gives the impression that fear is protection against disorder (high entropy) and uncertainty. What is needed to remove the fear is to recognize that entropy is hidden information. Personal possessions are thus unnecessary hard clinging to labels, or more precisely the labels themselves are too tense and delusional.

The bundle of labels in the form of personal possessions form the ego armor. That bundle is the ego. This includes personal memories which all are tainted by sticky possessions. Even the physical body can be seen as a form of biological memory. Consequently, what is needed to transcend the ego is to dissolve the whole bundle of dysfunctional memories. The essential content of the memories themselves is fine. It's the too hard and tense clinging that comes with personal memories that needs to be loosened up.

[Anderz]

One visualization practice is to think of the ego as an ice cube of suffering floating in a glass of water. The ice represents the too tense ego bundle. And the melting of the ice represents dissolving the suffering and tension and turning it into flowing peace. I got the idea of this visualization from a similar concept Anna presents in this video:

 

[Anderz]

Many people in the alternative community are talking about the Great Awakening; all the way from atheists to Christians and to New Agers. Here is a recent video by Aaron Doughty about the Great Awakening:

I like to aim big enough. And actually Q has talked about how what is going on has biblical proportions. My current idea about the Great Awakening at the moment is:

1. Dissolving the ego.

2. Developing a collective consciousness.

3. Moving from third to fourth density.

Those are my main points and from that comes other consequences such as the plan to remove corruption in the world and other external changes. So things such as the coronavirus crisis and a possible Spygate scandal and introduction of UBI and e-money etc are included in the Great Awakening.

[Anderz]

Is 2020 the year of the Great Awakening? Yes! Because of the U.S. Presidential 2020 election. Why? Because of the last TRUMP!  Either Trump will lose in 2020 and then it's the last trump, or Trump will win and then it will be his last term, so 2020 is the year of the last trump.

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"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." - 1 Corinthians 15:52 (KJV) [my emphasis]

Haha! Do you believe in coincidences? And the Bible verses continue about the removal of corruption and conquering of death:

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"53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."