Feeling attracted to people although I'm in a relationship

[Nicachi]

Is it 'normal' /'healthy' to feel sexual attracted to others while being in a relationship?

And by atracted I don't only mean sexual but also spiritual.

(I have the feeling that I want to grow spiritualy but in my current relationship I guess it won't be the case that he can support me in that way and neither he can support me. He is kind of narcissistic.) 

Sometimes I meet people and I feel such intense (not always) sexual but also spiritual vibes. Like a direct connection. 

A feeling of wanting to be with them doesn't matter if it is a men or women. (I'm bi also) 

I'm not quiet sure if I should stay in the relationship because the more I feel attracted to others the less I feel attracted to my partner. 

And I guess thats not quiet healthy is it? 

I'm a bit sceptic because I'm not sure if this is just because we may reached a plateau in our relationship and that's why I'm seeking something 'new' or if this is a real issue I should take seriously. 

I'd love to hear your opinions about this. 

Thanks a lot! 

[Leo Gura]

Some degree of that is probably normal and not a big deal.

What is more of problem is if you're having regrets being in your current relationship. Maybe something isn't quite the right fit there.

If it's a long relationship I would try to work it out.

If it's a short relationship then maybe you two aren't a good match.

[Michael569]

it is normal and healthy to feel this sort of attraction. However, taking action on it while being in another relationship is not. 

Guys get attracted to a new woman probably 50 times a day. It only takes a couple seconds for us. And yes with some people you can feel a deeper level of attraction such as what you describe. 

However, if you feel that your current partner is naricist who is holding you back (the message I got from what you wrote) perhaps you should reconsider if you are in the right place. As painful as it is, these nudges from your intuition and subconscious mind cannot be ignored otherwise you'll start getting anxiety attacks. 

Explore these feelings in a session of meditation and let yourself feel them deeply. Once you have processed everything, let your rational mind decide what do do. 

[Nicachi]

@Leo Gura okay I see what u mean... To define whats long and whats short. We have been together for 2 years then broke up because it didn't worked out well. And had a break of 9 months, now we're together since 2 weeks since the break. 

Already thanks for your advice Leo! 

[Nicachi]

@Michael569 hey Micheal, 

Yes I also thought about to do this in a mediation and contemplate about this. Although I already did that stuff... Maybe not intense enough yet to find out. 

I'm really 50/50: on the one hand I really wanna try it and make it work, cause I know relationship need work to grow together 

On the other hand I'm like why should I waste my time trying to fix something that won't work. And also he is not into spirituality at all and it feels like if I ever talk about it or try to help him out with stuff he totally blocking it. Because he "knows better and spiritual things ain't his thing". 

 

I don't know if I'm over reacting and need to calm down and give it a try or if I should just leave it. 

Plus it's a long distance relationship also..... 

 

Already thanks for your advice!! 

[Devi Shanti]

Well, since it is a long distance relationship, you two guys have to be very aligned in your expectations for this relationship and life, because things like what you are telling us (feeling sexual attraction and strong connection with other people) can happen, and to remain together, your connection has to be stronger.

You could make a list (it can be written or mental) of what you really expect and need from a partner and a relationship. It would help you to see clearer if this relationship you are in worth it or not.

I had an experience similar to yours. I was engaged to a guy and we were together for like 2 years and a half, then I was admitted in a university in another state and moved. In the begging I missed him very much, but passed some months, I felt an emotional distance and lack of mental connection. When we met on vacations I felt it was different.  We had plans for moving together etc and then he wasn't pleasant to talk about this anymore. I had this commitment with him, but actually I felt really alone. At that period (about 6 months after I moved), I felt really alone, and that commitment to him started not making sense to me anymore. I didn't cheat on him, but I started felling very strong attraction to other men and I didn't have that mental resource "but my guy is better because this or that", because it was like we became so different from each other, that my mind and my body were looking for a stronger connection. We still stand in a long distance relationship for 1 year, but in the meantime I even felt in love with another guy (didn't take action), what made me realize that I had a giant absence of sharing love and that relationship wasn't providing me that anymore. Then we broke up.

Maybe you can relate with my story, maybe not. But still, you have to be with someone who you share your priorities, dreams, passion, love with. If it lacks something essential in your relationship, it will be more and more evident with long distance and time.

Edited October 3, 2019 by Devi Shanti

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, Nicachi said:

then broke up because it didn't worked out well. And had a break of 9 months

Once you breakup, that's your clue that it probably won't work.

Honestly ask why you got back together? What is out of fear or neediness?

[Nicachi]

On 4.10.2019 at 1:27 AM, Leo Gura said:

Once you breakup, that's your clue that it probably won't work.

Honestly ask why you got back together? What is out of fear or neediness?

.. While the break up we still had contact... I guess both of us were afraid to be without the other. 

I couldn't really stand it anymore so I told him hey I cannot stay jn contact with you when I want to heal and get over it.  So I told him I want to cut the contact. Due this we talked about rather coming back together than having no contact at all and try a long distance relationship. 

So Id it was out of the fear of being alone, the fear of change, although I missed him but I guess that sad not the primary issue... 

Right now it's hard for me to even write this down cause I know it's the truth and I have to face it. 

Thank you so much for your awnser leo and all the other people! I guess subconsciously I already felt it, the reason why I started the topic, but it still helped me to talk about it here. 

 

Now I have to take action...Not quiet sure how I should do it. But I guess this is only up to me. 

Thank you all <3 much love!! 

[Chakra Lion]

8 minutes ago, Nicachi said:

Now I have to take action...Not quiet sure how I should do it. But I guess this is only up to me. 

@NicachiIf you are interested in the Chakras, 

Your Root Chakra deals with taking Physical Action, creating stability and safety in your life. 

Not Trusting yourself to make the right decision, not sure how you should do it, you only hold Your Self back.

You are the only one who can take Action, so let energy move through you. 

Is ok to be attracted to others when in a relationship?

Shorten the question. Is it ok to be attracted to others? Yes normal functions of a human with needs and wants. 

When in a Relationship? Still same human functioning, expect now, mainly with another human.  

A Relationship is a connection, one that you choose to hold and to have for as long as possible.

Open your Relationship or go back to Friendship, build new relations and take action on the things that will help you grow.

Make new Connections, but first check to make sure the connect to your self are good.

[Nicachi]

@Chakra Lion thank you so much for that!! It's like you're seeking from within myself. 

The issue with my root Chakra is really serious tho. I'm always so insecure about myself. And also have to deal with anxiety and panic attacks... I had an abusive childhood I guess thats one of the reasons it is not in balanced. 

I thought about doing a therapy but somehow I didnt do it yet... 

I might get some information how to balance my root Chakra (although I guess this takes a lot of time right).

I already do a lot of yoga but more like the guided yoga sessions on YouTube.  

Still I feel the more yoga and meditation I do the more I get sensible to my insecurity that I always tried to suppress. 

Do you got any advices for that? 

 

Already thank you so much. Opened my eyes a bit more now. Much love 

[Chakra Lion]

@NicachiYou know that your Acting in ways that dont serve you, that dont give balance.

Like resisting therapy, which is only treatment for healing.

Healing doesn't need to wait. Just start to Feel and Think about Love.

Then Let that Energy go into your heart, and Express it, Perceive it everywhere.

 

The Main Challenge of the Root is Creating Energy you can trust, not fear. 

Being Safe and Secure, Healthy and Grounded, building a foundation to work on your needs. 

Edited October 5, 2019 by Chakra Lion

[Nicachi]

Thank you. 

[Zak]

The more you get into spirituality and the more you get enlightened, the more you will find people mundane, boring and unattractive.

Now as you say it, you already are faced with this issue in your life. It is good you already tackle this issue as soon as possible, because this will happen all the time.

Sexual attraction? Oh my, it is completely normal as everyone on here said as well, but if your sexual attraction to your guy is lower than consider it a problem.

"Your mission should not be to find some Buddha to bang/marry" - Leo

 

[Nicachi]

7 hours ago, Zak said:

The more you get into spirituality and the more you get enlightened, the more you will find people mundane, boring and unattractive.

Now as you say it, you already are faced with this issue in your life. It is good you already tackle this issue as soon as possible, because this will happen all the time.

Sexual attraction? Oh my, it is completely normal as everyone on here said as well, but if your sexual attraction to your guy is lower than consider it a problem.

"Your mission should not be to find some Buddha to bang/marry" - Leo

 

Thanks a lot for your awnser!! 

Much love