My journey to more fulfillment

[lennart]

On 21.4.2020 at 2:26 PM, Nahm said:

??♥️

[lennart]

Day 202:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 203:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 204:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 205:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 206:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 207:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 208:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: I feel quite good, expect of my upset stomach. I definitely need to talk to my doctor again. My cooking skills are developing pretty quickly. My family loves it and I love them loving it. :D. University classes are going well also. A little bit overwhelmed at the beginning but now its fine and I like working from home. But I feel like I haven't really been making that big changes in my meditation practice. Thinking about upping my time or being more rigorous at focusing. I don't know. 

[lennart]

Day 209:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 210:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 211:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 212:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 213:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 214:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 215:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: 

Feeling dizzy almost all the time which starts being very annoying. I did a workout outside with a friend and felt great afterwards, but on the next day my joints hurt. Its pretty weird. Nowadays I have anxiety in the evening/ night and in the mornings I usually feel fine. I started looking for a therapist. Its kind of hard finding one... Well what else? I still meditate daily but I feel like its not really working. I mean I focus on my breath and try to stay focused on it but I often get distracted by thoughts and I thought that I should feel at least a bit of a difference by now but not really...

Damn this shit is hard. good night

[lennart]

Day 216:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 217:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 218:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 219:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 220:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 221:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 222:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: This week was pretty good in terms of work. I was super creative with my current architecture project for uni. I was pretty passionate aswell. Maybe this whole architecture thing turns out to be my passion. who knows. When I am feeling super agitated or overwhelmed meditation helps to release tension but it feels like as soon as I get out of it the agitation continues..

Also did some exercise which felt better than last week. 

[lennart]

Day 223:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 224:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 225:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 226:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 227:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 228:

Meditation: ❌

Smoothie:✅

Day 229:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notizen: Again have been working a lot on some uni projects. There were a few problems with my group partners but in the end it worked out pretty well. Also I have been looking a lot of movies because I am very interested in movies and think it might be my life purpose but not sure so I want to explore it more and tried to eat lots of fruits and vegetables. And also meditated everyday except for Saturday. I am kind of procrastinating with my meditation. I avoid it until night and then I am too tired to do it properly. So I am trying to fix that. And I will meditate right after writing this. 

[lennart]

Day 223:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 224:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 225:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 226:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 227:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 228:

Meditation: ❌

Smoothie:❌

Day 229:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: Sorry for uploading late. I got an advise from a friend who is medaling for over 3 years now. He told me to split the 10 min into even smaller bits of maybe 3 or 4 minutes which I did and it worked. Other than that I am working pretty hard on my uni stuff. It is fun but also very exhausting and I don't have much free time. Also listened to 50 cents new book on audible and I really liked it. 
 

[lennart]

Day 223:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 224:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 225:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 226:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 227:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 228:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 229:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: this week I was also pretty consistent with the smoothies and I finally got a hint to what is the source of my stomach aches. Its histamine intolerance. I started taking a medication which already works. Also I started using holosync again in the evening and it helps me fall asleep faster and my dreams become more vivid and interesting.

[lennart]

Day 223:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 224:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 225:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 226:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 227:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 228:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 229:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: Listening to holosync before bed for 30 min consistently + trying to eat a handful of fruits each day and I started doing pick up. Just at the beginning of my journey. The link to my pick up journal: 

 

[lennart]

Day 223:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 224:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 225:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 226:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 227:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 228:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 229:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

 

Notes: Starting to become a little unmotivated to this this work right now. Cause I am not seeing substantial progress. I think the meditation alone isn't going to solve my social anxiety. I will need to see a psychologist for that. 

[lennart]

Day 230:

Meditation: ✅

Day 231:

Meditation: ✅

Day 232:

Meditation: ✅

Day 233:

Meditation: ✅

Day 234:

Meditation: ✅

Day 235:

Meditation: ❌

Day 236:

Meditation: ✅

Day 237:

Meditation: ❌

Day 238:

Meditation: ✅

Day 239:

Meditation: ✅

Day 240:

Meditation: ✅

Day 241:

Meditation: ✅

Day 242:

Meditation: ✅

Day 243:

Meditation: ✅

 

Notes: So I decided to cancel the hole smoothie thing and only go with the meditation. Other than that I started to go to therapy. The therapist was very nice and sympathetic. I also do a little bit of pick up of which I plan on doing more when my semester is over and I am doing the life purpose course with a friend of me.