My journey to more fulfillment

[lennart]

Day 77

green smoothie from the store

30 min holosync in bed: very relaxing

Day 78:

green smoothie: cucumber, kiwi, bone broth cocoa nibs, banana: a little bit too salty because of bone broth (I bough at the supermarket)

30 min holosync: before I had mervous energy in my chest. After I was more relaxed and calm. During the meditation Sometimes thoughts popped up and I noticed how they were producing stress so I released them. 

Day 79:

green shake

30 min holosync

Day 80:

green shake

30 min holosync. This time my back was very painful. Maybe I need to adjust my posture. Most of the time I am leaning against the wall

Day 81:

Green shake

30 min holosync: significant reduction of anxiety after about 10 min. Unfortunately after 20 min my back started to hurt.

Day 82:

30 min holosync: After some minutes I became really relaxed and calm to the point were I almost fell a sleep. I sat on my cushion without back support which worked really well. Much better than sitting against a wall.

green shake again

 

notes: have been going outside a little bit more. Have been going to a park near my flat. Was really enjoyable. 
 

have a good time guys and merry christmas ?

[Raptorsin7]

What is holosync breathing?

[lennart]

On 23.12.2019 at 10:12 PM, Raptorsin7 said:

What is holosync breathing?

Holosync is a company that makes binaurel beat soundtracks. 
I could have said holosync BREATHING because I was doing breath awereness at the same time but most of the time I am just listening to holosync..

[lennart]

Alright guys the last few weeks were a little bit all over the place. I was travelling a lot. I am currently on holydays in a group situation and it is a little bit hard to be consistent with my smoothie habit but I kept doing the meditation. I did the holosync in bed before or after sleep. But I have to say that I mostly fell asleep. 

 

I will not go into the seperate days I will summerize it. 

 

I recognize how important it is to have adequate sleep. I felt very unstable when I had bad sleep and today I feel much better because I slept more. I am trying to get my green smoothie every day which is kind of hard because I sleep with a lot of people in one room and I kind of dont want to be that guy who pulls out his green smoothie powder everyday which is kind of stupid but anyway. Today is the last day which means from tomorrow on I can have a pretty normal rythm again.

[lennart]

Day 97: 

Smoothie: banana, Kiwi, cocoa nibs, lettuce, water, tasty 

Meditation: Guided by leo, neck pain was distracting and very irritating, tried to let go

 

Day 98: 

green shake. Tasted awful

Guided meditation from Leo: I think guided meditations arent for me. My mind tends to be more active when I listen to them. 

 

Day 99:

15 min just sitting: It took me a while to even get to a place where I could meditate. I was so stressed when I came home from work. Now I feel much calmer and less tensed. But it is weird that as soon I sit down to meditate my neck knots up. I can feel how it slowly tenses up. I have no Idea why.

Made myself a smoothie with: banana, cucumber, blueberry, pear, lettuce and oatmilk ??. I want to start mixing in some wild herbs. 

 

100: 

first I did 15 min while listening to meditation music. Then later I did 15 more minutes focusing on my breath and later sounds. Both pretty enjoyable.

Had a smoothie with cucumber, pear, chocolate nibs, coconut flakes, oat milk, oats, banana and dried dandalion. Very nice flavour

 

Day 101:

Green shake: super green powder, prebiotics with water

15 min mindfulness: trying to be aware of my breath and other body sensations. 

 

Day 102:

Green shake

20 min breathing: I got carried away by thoughts alot but I refocused again and again. I guess thats were the growth happens...

After 10/15 min my left shoulder tensed up. This somehow always happens. I was actually calm.

 

Day 103:

20 min sitting on bed: tried to focus on the breathing. Had very little back pain but felt very foggy. The sound of my breathing calmed me and kind of hypnotized me.

 

Notes: my diet is a little bit off right now. Which I want to fix in the next week. Also my screen time is way too high. I want to write also what went well and what didnt in the notes:

 

What I want to do better next week: less screen time, (not more than 3 h per day), making a green smoothie with fresh greens and fruits, less porn ...

 

What went well: Meditated very consistently. Went out with friends more.

[lennart]

Day 104: 

20 min sitting meditation

 

Green smoothie ✅

 

Notes: today I met with a girl I really like and I even have the feeling she might like me too but I am just way too nervous and uncomfortable being around her. I have a lot of anxiety

 

Day 105: 

20 min prayer: My muscles were tensed which caused pain but I sat down anyway. At first it was hard but then after a while I became more tranquil. Unfortunately my tensed muscles didnt relax.

 

Green smoothie: 1 1/2bananas, handful of spinach, oats, cacao nibs, coconut flakes, 2 tsp super greens, handful of blueberries, 1 tsp guarana, 2 tbsp prebiotics with oatmilk. ??

 

Notes currently my social anxiety is at its worst I would say. I am tensed as soon as I wake up all day long. Everything takes a lot of effort and I feel constantly overstimulated. I hope this will get better over time.

 

Day 106: 

 

Green smoothie: 1 1/2bananas, handful of spinach, oats, cacao nibs, coconut flakes, 2 tsp super greens, handful of blueberries, 1 tsp guarana, 2 tbsp prebiotics with oatmilk.

 

20 min prayer: First I had bad posture. My back was hunched over. When I erected my spine I could notice a difference in alertness. My muscles also relaxed a little bit.   

 

Day 107: 

15 min prayer: I tried to really focus on the words which made it easier to relax. But my stomach pain and head ache kept distracting me. 

 

No smoothie but I ate pretty clean: brussel sprouts, aspargus, green salad woth rocket, 

 

Day 108:

20 min: first I wanted to focus on my breath but then these nasty body sensations came again. My body tensed. Then I switched to alternate nostril breathing which worked a little bit better. I really dont understand why I have this feeling all the time. I wasnt even in a stressful situation....

 

Smoothie: ❌

 

Day 109: 

 

30 min holosync: This meditation was really bodily: I was feeling nauseas before. When I sat down I wanted my posture to be very errect. The feeling of nausea become heavier in my chest. I tried to go into it by breathing deeper which made it go away. Then my posture adjusted itself so my body could relax more. Then I thought about a few friends I hadnt had contact with since a while and I thought about his problems with drugs and I thought I should contact him. 

 

Smoothie: lettuce, banana, blueberries, coconut flakes, cocoa nibs, avocado oil, water, oatmilk, oats, super greens, guarana, broccoli sprouts. Damn 

 

Day 110:

20 min prayer: meditated in the morning was better than usual. With open windows so I could hear the birds chirp which was awesome. 

 

Now I will go to the sauna and afterwards I will drink my green smoothie daaayum.

 

Notes: The beginning of this week were very hard. I have this thing where I have really uncomfortable tension in my body when I am in overwhelming social situations which is almost every situation in university... But on the weekend I could relax. And the sauna helped it made me really tired so I could rest.

[lennart]

Blog

 

Day 111: 

20 min feeling: I wanted to focus on the uncomfortable sensations but they were too many. So I focused on the breath which worked.

 

Notes for this week: I meditated almost everyday except Saturday. I was working almost 10 h per day from thursday to sunday plus not sleeping in the night from sunday to monday. I had an architecture presentation. Needless to say that this really fucked me up. And if this wasnt enough I failed the presentation. I had an emotional breakdown afterwards. But enough of all that shit. I think the holosync meditation helped with the stress. Thats the reason I couldnt really keep up with this blog lately. But I have holydays right now so this should become more structured.

[lennart]

D118

30 min Holosync lying down

green smoothie from the store

 

D119

Again 30 min holosync

Greens smoothie with avocado and other green stuff

 

D120

30 min holosync

forgot the green smoothie

 

D121

30 min holosync before bed

Aaand forgot the green smoothie

 

D122

Meditated with a friend outside in the sun. It was great. He guided the meditation.

Green smoothie with super greens powder and goat milk

 

D123

30 min holosync before bed.

Goats milk with super greens

 

D124

Again a guided meditation with a friend. But this time inside. Focused on sounds and silence.

Super greens with goat milk.

 

notes: in this week I wasn't that consistent but it was still very enjoyable. I finally finished my classes and now I have holidays. I spent time with some great people this week swell.

[lennart]

D125

I am not sure which meditation I did but probably holosync.

Green smoothie from the store

D126

15 min breath awareness. Again green smoothie from the store.

D127

30 minutes holosync seated. It is very different doing holosync seated. I feel more present. No smoothie but green salad.

D128:

30 min holosync lying down because I was very stressed from my work.

Drank I smoothie with some berries.

D129

15 min Prayer from Francis of Assisi.

Berry smoothie

D130

Smoothie at a friends house with coconut milk, Raspberries, spinach.

Tried to meditate sitting but as soon as I sat down my neck started to hurt so I switched to lying down but the pain didn't really stop.

D131

Meditated at night and listened to holosync before sleep.

Drank a gren smoothie with kale, apple cucumber and banana.

 

Notes: This week I restarted the life purpose course. I bought it 2 years ago but I was kind of very lazy back then and didn't even finished the course I have holydays right now so I thought its a good time to restart it. I am really enjoying the course and have lots of great ideas for my life purpose. I am currently studying architecture and I definitely like it but I am not super pumped about it. So I will see if I can find something that I am very passionate about. I will keep you updated my friends.

[lennart]

Day 132:

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D133

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D134

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D135

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D136

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D137

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

D138

Green smoothie ✅

Meditation ✅

 

Notes: This week I was pretty consistent. On some of the days I bought my smoothie at the supermarket which isn't optimal because I don't know for sure if there are no additives. But on maybe 5 out of 7 day I made my own smoothies. I also ate green salads almost everyday. My meditation is also solid but it is still hard for me sometimes because my body becomes so tense at times but I still do the meditation everyday. Other than that: I had some tough days at work also a little conflict with my chef. And I am doing the life purpose course which takes longer than expected. I feel like have have a passion for architecture but I will still finish the course maybe it is something different.

[lennart]

Day 139:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 140:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 141:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 142:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 143:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 144:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 145:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

 

Notes: 

From Wednesday until tomorrow I am on a German festival called Karneval and it is pretty much a place where people get very drunk. Nevertheless I tried to stick as good as possible to my habits which worked quite good. I bought my green smoothies at the store. They are of high quality and a little bit pricey but that is ok. And I meditated at least 20 min per day. Either listening to holosync or focusing on my breath. 

What went well:

• I sticked to my habits almost everyday except skipping smoothie once.
• Despite not so great conditions I stayed disciplined.
• I was socializing a lot. Living at a friends house. So I am seeing him everyday.

What I can improve:

• Drank a little too much alcohol.

 

[lennart]

Day 146:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 147:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 148:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 149:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 150:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 151:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 152:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Summery: This week I flew to London with a few colleagues it was very challenging to spent all day with them but in general I think it was really great we had a lot of fun. I tried to meditate everyday which I did. For example I meditated on the train or in the hotel on my bed. The smoothie habit was hard to maintain.. 

I looked for smoothies in supermarket but all of them were garbage. With a lot of sugars in it. So I didn't buy them.

What worked well: I maintained my meditation habit; I had fun with my friends; I was very active and spent much time outside

What can be improved: Got a little moody with some of my colleagues; ate non optimal food on many days (Partly because there wasn't really anything better available)

[lennart]

Day 153:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 154:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 155:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 156:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: 

Day 157:❌

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 158:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 159:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: This week I started experimenting with standing meditation or called Zhang Zhuang which means standing like tree. It is really great for body awareness and relaxation. I am doing this now only for 3 days for 20 min split into two 10 min sessions. After the first day I had sore leg muscles because standing still with a little bit bend knees targets very different muscles than I usually use.

I also maybe start doing the flavonoid diet by Peter Smith he is a health professional and promotes this diet for better mental health.

What went well this week? I meditated every day; I met with some friends; I studied everyday consistently; I opened up to my mom about my mental health issues mainly social anxiety and even cried which felt quite good

What can I improve: Watched too much porn; Drank alcohol; went to bed too late

[lennart]

Day 160:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 161:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 162:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 163:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 164:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 165:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 166:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes:

Well the Coronacrisis is kicking in and I need to prepare myself. Especially my Immune-system. So I will need to be more serious about my smoothies and in general my nutrition. So everyday I will drink my smoothie (hopefully) and I will eat a lot of vegetables and organic meat. I will also take a Zinc supplement.

My meditation is strong as always. On some days I am a little tired so I will lay down but most days I am sitting. Most days I focus on my breath or I listen to Holosync. I do a minimum of 15 minutes. Sometimes I do more. 

I hope you are all staying healthy. Please take care of yourself and maybe start to live a little bit healthier now. You could start like me and drink a fruit/ vegetable smoothie daily. 

Cheers guys.

 

[lennart]

Day 167:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 168:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 169:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 170:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 171:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 172:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 173:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: I missed two days which isn't optimal but I have to say that it is pretty hard to drink that stuff everyday and on some days it is nice to get something alternative like a salad or maybe even a self made pizza with glutei free base and lots of vegetables (which I made a few times this week).

The quarantine is pretty tough as well and in general the whole Corona craziness. I find it on the one hand to be interesting because its something that no-one has experienced before but on the other side I find it to be quite frightening as well. I just don't know how this will turn out and how long this will continue. 

I spent some time everyday to learn Portuguese and I did Leos life purpose course.

I also meditated everyday for 15 min during which I rather focused on my breath or listened to holosync. Today (Monday) my meditation was really difficult. I drank a small beer 0,33 l which is really not much but my body said no haha. And I had to fight against quite some dizziness. Otherwise on most days I would say I manage to focus on the different sensations around my nostrils. I hope you guys stay healthy.

[lennart]

Day 174:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 175:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 176:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 177:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 178:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 179:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 180:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Notes: Spend much time at home as anyone else who lives in a big city probably. I did go out some days to go for a Walk in a park which was very good. I do kind of enjoy the isolation because I don't have to meet with friends as much ?. I skipped the smoothie habit on some days. Haven't got enough food for the smoothies and I got bored of drinking the same smoothie everyday. I need to find new smoothie recipes.

Meditation is more and more a no brainer for me. I don't need to force myself as much. I just do it. I also learned Portuguese vocables everyday for my Portuguese exam and I started learning about a rendering program. Cause I need to make a rendering for my dad.

[lennart]

Day 181:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:

Day 182:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 183:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 184:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 185:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 186:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 187:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

 

Notes: Man. I am in a bit of a motivation low point regarding this project right now. I am not really motivated to drink the smoothies and I have little motivation to post here. Thats the reason why my post is so delayed. But my meditation practice is still going on. I also started to learn cooking right now and I really enjoy it. Instead of a smoothie I allow myself to have one portion of fruit or vegetable everyday. Preferably fruit cause I heard about that most vegetables are grown with unnatural fertilizers. 

[lennart]

Day 188:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 189:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 190:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 191:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ❌

Day 192:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 193:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 194:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

 

Notes: This week went semi well. My health is not that good right now. I have stomach pain on most days when I wake up. Tomorrow I will go to a doctor with this. I missed the smoothie part on most days. On the other days I ate blueberries or other fruits vegetables. Because I started to learn to cook I would say I eat a little bit more healthy. Happy Eastern.

[lennart]

Day 195:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 196:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:✅

Day 197:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 198:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

Day 199:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 200:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie:❌

Day 201:

Meditation: ✅

Smoothie: ✅

 

notes: My university classes started again which feels good because now I have something I can focus on again. Watched Leos newest video and got inspired by it to be a little bit more rigorous with my meditation. And I read @Nahms post describing his life story which also inspired me. As I am righting this I am listening to the music that Leo has posted on his blog "Zen masters diary" and I freakin love it. 

I noticed that my motivation for learning Portuguese has lessened and now I am obsessed with cooking. This is very typical behavior for me. I need redirect my focus to Portuguese otherwise all my progress was futile. I managed to eat at least one bowl of fruit almost everyday. Most days blueberries. 

Wish you all the best and much love ❤️

[Nahm]

??♥️