Are you guys happy?

[Aquarius]

There's a counter-intuitiveness I often see in self-help. The more you chase happiness, the sadder you become. Because of the attachment to an idea of ideal reality which doesn't exist. 

Life is now.

 

I'm happy because I'm content. Reality hits hard oftentimes, but that's ok. I learned to cope.

Most of the source of human unhappiness is not being grateful for what you have, in my experience. Always wanting more -- in a neurotic manner. Chasing illusions instead of experiencing. 

[seeking_brilliance]

@arlin I feel left out....?.... Kinda.... ?

Oh i see, i guess I didn't actually answer any of your questions

Edited October 1, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[Corpus]

Think of an infinite line projecting horizontally with a sine wave oscillating about it; the up curve can be positive feelings and the down curve, the negative. Where you are on the waves gives you a position of relative happiness/sadness, relative to all other points on the curve. The horizontal line is a place of increased equanimity and that locus, IMO, is more readily inhabited through the work.  

[Proactive]

Why are you guys on this path of self actualization? 

i'm curious. I'm also here to improve myself so I can improve the world.

How did this affect your life? 

It has allowed me to know myself a lot more. Gives me a lens to see the world through that actually matches what's happening in reality moreso. Therefore can control reality more.

Has it improved your life in a meaningfull way, or is it just a dream that you hold but you secretly know you cant achieve? 

My life has improved so much, if I just used the perspectives I was taught while growing up, i'd either be dead or almost dead. 

Are you happier overall? Or are you just using your mind to overthink about existencial things and getting burned out? 

I do put myself through a lot of stress because I do have goals. I would have just run away from the obstacles in the past because I didn't really know how to deal with it any other way.

I tend to write in my journal when I have problems, I just look for ways to improve. I don't really report my successes in life on there. Hehehhe

[Barna]

Happiness and unhappiness are irrelevant. Life is not about the me anymore. 

And paradoxically, this makes me happier than I've ever been. This might be because suffering is possible only if I try to cling to my happiness

* The italic highlight doesn't mean anything, it just looks good on me 

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by Barna

[arlin]

@Barna Good stuff bro! Ahah

@seeking_brilliance Oh i think it was just a typing mistake, sorry ahahah

@Proactive Thanks for sharing! 

[Nahm]

@arlin Thank you for your love. I’m loving it.

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

I let myself be happy most of the time.

But I like to keep it real and allocate some time to being negative and see whether I can prove it wrong. It happened to me number of times that I just let myself be happy and ignored warning signs that something is going wrong. I don’t do standard practices, I'm kind of doing and playing with my own thing.

[Raptorsin7]

@arlin I'm not happy, but i'm also not unhappy. I've had moments in my life that i recognize as clearly better feeling than others, and i am largely on this path to change the way my life feels so that i don't have to ask the question am i happy, rather it will be obvious to me in the moment. I've been meditating for about 2 years, pretty diligently, and my mindfulness and concentration have approved a lot to the point where meditation is something i look forward to, rather than just a chore, which it felt like for the first year especially. Ironically, the happiest i ever was occurred after i overcame depression, and i had a hypomanic experience for about a 3 months, i basically successfully applied a bunch of self help techniques like affirmations, positive thinking, cold showers over the course of 2 weeks in winter break and i literally became a different person. This high point all occurred before i ever had a moment of mindfulness, so i can't say that meditation has made me super happy or anything. But, it has gave me a direction in my life an something to cultivate. I feel like i have something that is independent of my worldly pursuits, and i view my self actualization work and meditation work as somewhat distinct right now, but obviously they are influencing each other every step of the way. Right now i view meditation as my fail safe in life, so lets say my mom dies or i get thrown in prison or my reputation gets ruined, i have something to fall back on that will bring peace in the moment. But my ultimate goal of this work is to just be able to honestly in this moment, am i really happy, and if i had to live like this for lifetime would i be excited and happy to do it, or am i still searching for a better/happier life.

[Raptorsin7]

@Leo Gura

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@arlin Be careful not to underestimate how miserable most people are.

If people here on a 3 on a scale of 0-10. Most people in life are at -20. But they don't even realize it because -20 is all they've ever known.

Happiness is totally relative.

This may be true of "most" people in the sense that every society has a huge proportion of people that are poor, psychologically disturbed, in abusive relationships etc, but i think many people who do 0 formal self actualized work are actually much happier than i think Leo is letting on here. I think there's a tendency to view others on an unconscious path as unhappy by default because you can see how they are creating their own problems, but a lot of people, at least where i'm from, are actually pretty psychologically well developed and are not doing any active self improvement in the traditional sense.

[Consilience]

14 hours ago, arlin said:

1) But has this been rewarding for you? 

2) Why are you guys on this path of self actualization? 

3) How did this affect your life? 

4) Has it improved your life in a meaningfull way, or is it just a dream that you hold but you secretly know you cant achieve? 

5) Are you happier overall? Or are you just using your mind to overthink about existencial things and getting burned out? 

 

1) Yes 100%

2) I think it stems from childhood sports. I used to be the smallest kid in my grade and this created an inferiority complex. Moreover, I was always intelligent as a kid but never quite as smart as the SMART kids. For example, I was like 90th percentile frustrated I wasnt 98th+. This created a lot of emotional and mental self abuse and planted a deep seed for self improvement, and ultimately self actualization. Eventually I stumbled onto Leo’s work and was lucky enough and wise enough to see its enormous value. 

3) The entire mind structure has radically transformed. Im able to process emotions quicker, Im able to feel emotions more strongly, Im much more detached and willing to let things go. My anger management problems have nearly disappeared. My concentration ability has skyrocketed. Awareness has expanded to levels and realms I didn't think possible both in meditation and with psychedelics. My understanding of philosophy is probably better than most academic professors at this point which I know sounds egotistical but after having read many philosophy books, classes, videos, papers, etc., and pursuing this consciousness work, I see fundamental errors mainstream philosophy simply does not acknowledge. This feels good because Ive always been interested in philosophy. My appreciation, love, and reverence for all facets of existence are much higher. My heart and mind feel the most open they’ve ever been. 

4) My life will never be the same because of stumbling into actualized.org. It has been deeply meaningful. Cognition, emotions, relationships, wisdom, self respect, work ethic, authenticity, mindfulness... all of these have improved.

5) I am happier. But I also go through periods where I feel light modes of depression, particularly after having deeper and deeper insights. Sometimes it seems difficult for the mind structure and ego to handle, and negative emotions get thrown up as defense mechanisms (ego backlash). But even i. Depression there is a still equanimity always present that Im able to tap into. As others have said, happiness comes and goes but peace persists and it is deeply fulfilling. However that being said, Im the happiest Ive ever been. 

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

 

2

15 hours ago, arlin said:

Has it improved your life in a meaningfull way, or is it just a dream that you hold but you secretly know you cant achieve? 

Are you happier overall? Or are you just using your mind to overthink about existencial things and getting burned out? 

Sometimes I'm not sure. Am I really depressed less often? It's giving me hope, that's for sure, but how much is just a dream I hold on?

Then I talk to someone and realize they're having a problem that I've already overcome. 

What I'm sure is, that what I'm coming to experience and understand are deep answeres to my curiosity.

[Nahm]

9 hours ago, Meditationdude said:

@arlin lol about 50% responded with random advice, 40% responded in some spiritual talk and 10% gave you an actual answer to your inquiry, lol. 
 

Ooh The internet ... ?

Hey! Nobody cares!

?

(I trust you get the odd humor here)

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm Please don't be toxic. I'm surprised you'd make a comment like that ):

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7 Perhaps you don’t get the joke.

[seeking_brilliance]

@Nahm perhaps nobody will get it ? ?????....... ?

Edited October 2, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm @seeking_brilliance (: i'm just messing with you

[arlin]

@Raptorsin7 wow your story is amazing. Thank you for sharing, and i hope all the best for your journey! @Consilience Wow. This is the kind of story i like to hear! Good job man! 

[Sahil Pandit]

Working on it

[pluto]

I Am Love

I Am Light

I Am Bliss

I Am Free

I Am One

I Am Two

I Am You

I Am Me