Really Confused

[Sukhpaal]

So, I turned my life around emotionally in the past 2 weeks by adopting a 20-30 minute meditation habit everyday. I can already see the results, but there is a girl in my class who I've been crushing on pretty hard. I just started talking to her but suddenly I've been stressed all day and every day about her even though I barely know her. Even though I've been meditating every day it feels like the stress is overriding it. Any tips guys or help? Thanks.

[FindingPeace]

6 hours ago, Sukhpaal said:

I just started talking to her but suddenly I've been stressed all day and every day about her even though I barely know her. 

What are you stressing about? Are you so worried that if you don't hook her soon you'll loose her and miss out? And if so why? Why is she so significant? As you said, you barely know her. You don't even know if she would be good for you.

You need to look in to this 'stress'. It sound like a desperate neediness to me. Which is often a result of lack of abundance. But something I would suggest introspecting on.

Calm down, take your time, and breath. And let go of stressing about her. Things will either develop and work out, or they won't. But you have to be ok with that. Otherwise this 'stress' is going to start sabotaging things before it even gets going. Be ok with whatever happens. Get to know her and take your time.

[Sukhpaal]

9 hours ago, FindingPeace said:

What are you stressing about? Are you so worried that if you don't hook her soon you'll loose her and miss out? And if so why? Why is she so significant? As you said, you barely know her. You don't even know if she would be good for you.

You need to look in to this 'stress'. It sound like a desperate neediness to me. Which is often a result of lack of abundance. But something I would suggest introspecting on.

Calm down, take your time, and breath. And let go of stressing about her. Things will either develop and work out, or they won't. But you have to be ok with that. Otherwise this 'stress' is going to start sabotaging things before it even gets going. Be ok with whatever happens. Get to know her and take your time.

Thanks dude, I agree about the neediness part 100%. My mind has this weird mind set to like pursue any opportunities related to relationships. Thanks.

[HGGabrielF]

@Sukhpaal Hi,dont be so stressed.I am meditating too and i can say something to you.To be honest,today,i meditated about this problem.I had the same problem today and i found out something.The problem is this,you put her on the first plan,you become addicted to her,you start thinking about her too much.Stop.In the moments like this your mind is like a crazy monkey.While i was meditating i found out something.I was hearing some sounds but it was silence.I know,it is crazy,but i realised something.No one is more important,no one is higher than the other and this helped me a lot.Think a little bit.Stop putting her first on your plan so to say,because the moment you put her first,you become addicted to her,your mind behaves stupidly.Think a little bit.Your mind does these  things and the moment you let it make what it wants,you have those negative feelings. When you meditate,stop trying to control your thoughts.It will be much better.Trust me!  I hope it helped you and sorry for my bad English.

Edited May 20, 2016 by HGGabrielF

[charlie2dogs]

19 hours ago, Sukhpaal said:

So, I turned my life around emotionally in the past 2 weeks by adopting a 20-30 minute meditation habit everyday. I can already see the results, but there is a girl in my class who I've been crushing on pretty hard. I just started talking to her but suddenly I've been stressed all day and every day about her even though I barely know her. Even though I've been meditating every day it feels like the stress is overriding it. Any tips guys or help? Thanks.

yes we hear you but you didn't really tell us what the stress is about, do you have the hots for the girl is that what you are telling and that maybe infatuation has a grip on you  or are you trying to run away and can't?

[Sukhpaal]

1 hour ago, charlie2dogs said:

yes we hear you but you didn't really tell us what the stress is about, do you have the hots for the girl is that what you are telling and that maybe infatuation has a grip on you  or are you trying to run away and can't?

The stress is basically pursuing a relationship with the person. This has happened more than once, it's been a problem of mine in the past few years. I think it's because of a neediness problem. I think my ego believes in co-dependency, depending on another for fulfillment. I just need to learn how to un-wire this mind set.

[charlie2dogs]

18 minutes ago, Sukhpaal said:

The stress is basically pursuing a relationship with the person. This has happened more than once, it's been a problem of mine in the past few years. I think it's because of a neediness problem. I think my ego believes in co-dependency, depending on another for fulfillment. I just need to learn how to un-wire this mind set.

what you are doing is seeking love in another that you are not yourself,  in most all relationship there are two lonely people who are seeking love out of their loneliness in another person, and it always fails, its not a matter of if, its a matter of when, and after a certain amount of pain and suffering has been endured, what i am saying is if you are not love itself and you dont have the tools to take to the relationship it has already failed before it begins,  i dont know if you can see that or not but that is what is reallly happening on a higher level, so the only solution, you must become love, and then you wont need love, and you wont be chasing after love, but you will be free to deal with those situations from a better position. and you just might recognize where the other person is that might become part of a relationship with you.

[charlie2dogs]

1 hour ago, Sukhpaal said:

The stress is basically pursuing a relationship with the person. This has happened more than once, it's been a problem of mine in the past few years. I think it's because of a neediness problem. I think my ego believes in co-dependency, depending on another for fulfillment. I just need to learn how to un-wire this mind set.

and the real solution is to know yourself, the more you know yourself the more that will be revealed to you, in dealing with these things.

[Franz]

Hi Friend, i see where you are coming from, been there myself when i was younger. To keep it short, jerk off and talk to her after. This is to reduce the amount oft neediness and hormone induced thinking. Then try to connect with this person as deeply as you can, really get to know her, make sensory love to her, See if you even like her as much as  you thought. If she is willing to connect and spend time and energy together, stuff like dating and sex (which is just a form of connection) will follow naturally. Start slow, girls actually love connection, so she will accept if she is even remotely ok with your presence and Person. Just cut out the neediness for sex now, your time will come.

Just remember: you are spending precious time here. Sex wont fulfill you, and the universe does not care if you ejaculate into this girl or the next trash can. This is all nice and fun,  but not your mission in life.

[Sukhpaal]

Thanks everyone for the help!