Going through a dark night of the soul...feeling alone, doubting this path.

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, remember said:

@Leo Gura you maybe don`t understand how self biased and irresponsible the projection is. or you do.

You'd have to be more specific. I don't know exactly what you're objecting to from that video.

[remember]

@mandyjw no mandy, you can only say that because you are strong. and because you are still in denial about some aspects of yourself.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[remember]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You'd have to be more specific. I don't know exactly what you're objecting to from that video.

the narrative - especially that you assume the perspective of the watcher from an ego perspective as a man. it`s dark magic leo. people who are not used to white magic will bleed out and even white magicians have struggle with it if they can`t coap with it adequatly.

with black magic i`m not referring to a concept like the devil or the cocketery of devilry but to its destructive and disruptive and intrusive energy.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[mandyjw]

11 minutes ago, remember said:

@mandyjw no mandy, you can only say that because you are strong. and because you are still in denial about some aspects of yourself.

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me!!! 

Please elaborate. 

7 minutes ago, remember said:

the narrative - especially that you assume the perspective of the watcher from an ego perspective as a man. it`s dark magic leo.

I know exactly what you're saying, but you're going about it this all wrong. 

[remember]

1 hour ago, Vxvxen said:

What would the heroine's journey be like?

she would burn the hero with her fire breath

but you see it`s the problem of pushing a narrative like that onto people while they might not be able to coap with the pictures, and even then it`s not constructive for females, but destroys a lot because they get enwrapped in coaping with the attack. and guys just meet a dead end.

am i the only one who feels like i had this exact conversation before?

i think, feel and see that it´s not healthy!

read the books i recommended, there are plenty of examples in them.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[remember]

32 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me!!! 

Please elaborate. 

I know exactly what you're saying, but you're going about it this all wrong. 

thank you for knowing it better sweetheart, when did you ever see a hero plug a flower? and if, then leaving all the petals untouched.

actually i wanted to say pluck but it has some situational humour to it.

it`s not leading down a healthy path, that`s all. the healthy path comes from within, just don`t end up as a fried fish.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[Flowerfaeiry]

8 hours ago, ivory said:

Dude, if the depression continues I would seek out a therapist. This sounds to me like a lack of self-acceptance. Do you accept yourself as you are? Or do you feel like you need to change in order for you and others to like yourself? I have a sense you compare yourself to others a lot.

Again, don't worry about the hard thing. Taking care of your health and making new friends IS REALLY HARD. You will grow massively by building a healthy life style.

Rather than think, "What should I do to make me awesome", think, "How can I best take care of myself and my life." To get out of depression you need to show your self so much love you can't stand it. Motive is everything. Your actions should reflect self-love. They should not reflect the false idea that you aren't enough.

I don’t have my own sense of self. I look to others for answers on how to live my life, constantly comparing and matching myself up to what they are doing. I see a therapist and it helps a bit, I do need to take care of myself much more and better, that’s for sure. Thank you 

[Flowerfaeiry]

8 hours ago, remember said:

one part to accept that is probably to face this feeling of darkness and learning to be alone with oneself in this darkness and being a good company to yourself. the other one is finding people you deeply connect to, who you can talk with about that stuff, because the limits in people are different. how many of your friends are friends for a longe time already? i never really thought about that as a possibility here in the forum but some people might not search enough for deep connection within others outside of this forum, because they have already a circle of longterm aquaintences, the direction of self actualization takes on a certain kind of form, or they do the lonely wolve thing, because it seems to be what is nessecary for a self actualizer. i`m not saying connections in general could help you but talking about deep connections - may that be people of a certain different culture you feel deeply connected to or people who do a special kind of work with a special kind of knowledege they bring into your life, in a constructive way of course. could be longterm friends or just someone you meet randomly and feel like it clicks and you are on a waveleangth.

I so crave for a deep connection. Someone who really understands me and the path I am on. I look for it in romantic partners and then get mad when they don’t understand. I do quite well on my own in the sense that, I can be physically alone and be happy. But as a whole, I don’t have anyone I can connect with and tell them stuff, I’ve tried with my partners and that was nice, it just, it’s different with a partner, and I’m tired of just making romantic connections in order to fulfill that need for a connection. 

[remember]

2 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I don’t have my own sense of self. I look to others for answers on how to live my life, constantly comparing and matching myself up to what they are doing. I see a therapist and it helps a bit, I do need to take care of myself much more and better, that’s for sure. Thank you 

if you are a female find yourself a womans circle or find streangth in other women, the male world can`t really help you with that. it`s in a lot of womens nature, as we are more social beings by our ancestry, be it symbolically or genetically or energetically or spiritual we need others and that is not just an egoic perspective to the world. denying that aspect of ourselfs always wanting to live up what a masculine society pushes upon us makes a lot of female souls disconnected and sad and feeling worthless where it`s not the case. thinking we can overcome that by searching in equal partners in men alone will not heal what is keeping us from our own initiate power. women are givers of life and death, you choose you decide you are weaving your screen your carpet.

[Flowerfaeiry]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's the voice of God speaking to you, but you're refusing the call.

You're acting too small. You need a much bigger vision. You need a big life purpose, not this wallowing is personal problems bullshit.

God is telling you to make your life about something much bigger than you. But you're too scared so you just wallow around in your own smallness. You should be doing big things with your life. Why aren't you doing them? You could transform the whole world and yet you're just pissing your life away instead.

See my videos:

• The Highest Hero's Journey
• How To Unleash Your Ambition

And do my LP Course. It's all about this.

Of course you're depressed because you're not actualizing your full greatness. You could be a Christ or a Buddha. What are you waiting for??? Your spirituality is far too timid. Be more bold! Dare to touch people's hearts with your love.

The people around you are sheep. Don't look to sheep for inspiration. Look to lions. Become a lion.

Thank you so much for your response. I’ve watched those videos of yours and I also finished the life purpose course. The course was amazing. It gave me so many tools. I was reading my values and goals every day and it was so amazing, the thought of my life’s purpose brings me to tears, and I am so grateful to you for that course. 

I stopped reading them every day. I got caught up in relationship drama, family drama. I am refusing the voice of God because I feel I am too weak. I’m looking to others for answers and wallowing in my sadness because I don’t feel strong enough to do what I need to do. And I don’t know, I guess I’m hoping that one day I will just bite the bullet but it’s hard. And that’s a really heavy thing for me to see in myself. Thank you again Leo. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

4 hours ago, remember said:

@Flowerfaeiry  if you are a female don´t watch it. if you don`t want to end as a fried fish. instead get connected to your femininity and your dark side, that will save you of some of the additional pains this video would make you go through. you don`t need that. read books like women who run with the wolves or shadow dance or red moon by miranda grey. this video will just mess up your metaphysics and if you are not strong enough it will stay like that. even guys who awaken to that get stuck in panik attacks or think rape is ok in addition with some other videos. i don`t recommend you deconstruction work if you didn`t work on a healthy painbody yet.

I do feel like Leo’s teachings are male biased but I think that the general message is the same. I have seen the videos, and I’ve wondered if they have “messed” with me in some ways, or if I’m really not strong enough. Actually the idea that there is a feminine side and masculine side to personal development is fucking with me because I’m like well, which one do I follow?? I see myself as very feminine, yet there is a masculine side in my that has been pushed down because it isn’t ladylike or whatever. And I’m so curious about that side, but also love exploring my feminine side too. Thank you for the love and support. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

13 minutes ago, remember said:

if you are a female find yourself a womans circle or find streangth in other women, the male world can`t really help you with that. it`s in a lot of womens nature, as we are more social beings by our ancestry, be it symbolically or genetically or energetically or spiritual we need others and that is not just an egoic perspective to the world. denying that aspect of ourselfs always wanting to live up what a masculine society pushes upon us makes a lot of female souls disconnected and sad and feeling worthless where it`s not the case. thinking we can overcome that by searching in equal partners in men alone will not heal what is keeping us from our own initiate power. women are givers of life and death, you choose you decide you are weaving your screen your carpet.

Thank you, I would love to find a woman’s circle and get more in touch with that side of my path. 

[remember]

@Flowerfaeiry when did the real problems start, try to remember that, try to remember when was the time when you last felt really whole. try to remember, it`s not about the past but if you really really go deep into that aspect of your wholeness you might realize that you are getting brainwashed because of your problem to search external guidence. i would want to tell you this in more clear words, but i can only tell you better run with your own kind of woolves.

[Flowerfaeiry]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@remember If your objection is that it's too male-oriented, that could be a fair objection. By all means find a female version of the heroine's journey. I openly admit having a male bias to my teachings. That doesn't make the teaching false, just not suitable for your style.

Teachings comes in a sorts of styles and flavors.

I know your teachings are male biased, I’ve wrestled with that before. I sometimes wonder if I’ve seen too much, in the sense that your videos have set the vision too high that I just collapse from inability to reach it. I’m working on taking small steps. 

Im glad to hear that they are still true regardless of the male bias, because that gives me hope that the things I see and the voices I hear are telling me something real. 

[remember]

2 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I know your teachings are male biased, I’ve wrestled with that before. I sometimes wonder if I’ve seen too much, in the sense that your videos have set the vision too high that I just collapse from inability to reach it. I’m working on taking small steps. 

Im glad to hear that they are still true regardless of the male bias, because that gives me hope that the things I see and the voices I hear are telling me something real. 

he`s self biased so how can you trust him that his teachings are true. someone could teach you that you are not a female but a male and could claim it`s truth.

[Flowerfaeiry]

2 minutes ago, remember said:

@Flowerfaeiry when did the real problems start, try to remember that, try to remember when was the time when you last felt really whole. try to remember, it`s not about the past but if you really really go deep into that aspect of your wholeness you might realize that you are getting brainwashed because of your problem to search external guidence. i would want to tell you this in more clear words, but i can only tell you better run with your own kind of woolves.

The real problems started when I got awakened to how much I was suffering after attending a meditation course. Haha. That’s when all this deep deep suffering began. Since then I’ve been clawing my way out slowly, and not without a massive fight. And I’m still not strong enough. Funnily enough, some of my most massive sufferings of late have been contrasted by huge feelings of bliss and happiness. Like, the work I’m doing is working, I’m catching glimpses of the light, but I’m still deep deep in the cave. 

I will look into the books you mention, I like the idea of running with my own kind of wolves, if I think I know what that  means...follow my own path? 

[remember]

10 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

TI will look into the books you mention, I like the idea of running with my own kind of wolves, if I think I know what that  means...follow my own path? 

awakening to the woolve in yourself, maybe even a leader, but even there are hirarchies, based on trust age experience. a woolve that doesn`t have to hide in a cave, because you run with other women.

see male packs that form of lonely woolves are often agressive and can`t integrate women to their tribes adequatly.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[remember]

52 minutes ago, Vxvxen said:

I would avoid getting too identified with being a male or female hero and not starting to use it as a defensive mechanism to mix with our own kind.

What differs being a female version of the hero's journey meant that she would have more empathy and being more understanding over what reality is and isn't, with love, softness and care but generally it would still be the same path with men's straight forward approach. 

Well, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

no it`s a male vision of conquering female energy by defeating the protection shield of a women. the red moon book describes what the holy grail really is, now you can maybe try to figure out what the dragon is the hero has to kill by all means. it`s a story of enslavement.

i read the sigfrid legend and the edda when i was younger - in school. it`s a very backed up understanding of what this story is about mythologically and symbolically.

and it will take some more hundred years until the damage of a history like this will be erased if we don`t fall back into the middleages.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember

[mandyjw]

1 hour ago, remember said:

no it`s a male vision of conquering female energy by defeating the protection shield of a women. the red moon book describes what the holy grail really is, now you can maybe try to figure out what the dragon is the hero has to kill by all means. it`s a story of enslavement.

I discovered that same story/analogy studying gnostic Christianity. In the analogy I read, the feminine or creative path "ends" by giving birth to a "male" (the masculine flowering and becoming awake in the psyche) child (your life purpose), then raising that child until it becomes an independent life of its own. 

What's going on here is that the feminine is not "enslaved" though it appears that way, it just isn't understood, recognized or experienced. 

"Passion" is symbolized by red and the snake or the red dragon, it rises from below like kundalini energy. "Grace" falls from the sky, (moves down through the chakras) and is symbolized by a lightning bolt. Being filled with one without the other creates hell. Hitler was an example of someone who was full of "grace" with no feminine spiritual energy to speak of, at least after he gave up painting that is. It's the balance and free flow of power from both that we seek. 

The "Holy Grail" or the meaning of the miracle of turning water into wine, is becoming a vessel that is filled with "grace" and then with the addition of "passion", the water turns to wine. 

Everyone's spiritual journey is about opening to and balancing both powers. This is why women and creative types so often don't need psychedelics, they are full of that energy to begin with, they seek to understand and channel this power.

Think about how Leo had an insight to plug DMT, and how chakras correspond with that insight, "feminine" spiritual energy rises from below. 

What you sense happening in this community is that many here only recognize the power of "Grace" and they don't understand why exactly they benefit from the use of psychedelics, or the power through which they work. They still think embodying the feminine is only about being sweet, accepting and motherly.

The Christian church saw the spiritual power of "Passion" to be evil and demonic, and only recognized the power of Grace. In fact nearly all religions only recognize "Grace". They turn religion into a logical, hierarchical, materialist rule based thing. Naturally, only men were allowed positions of power.

Pagan or Wiccan traditions lean too heavily to "Passion" and so are very connected with the earth and feminine power, yet don't often manage to channel that power or organize themselves enough to manifest change and have influence. 

 

 

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by mandyjw

[remember]

@mandyjw yes, right, that`s the story of christianity. the edda though and the nibelungen are two different stories telling the story of a male hero who betrays women and baths in a dragons blood which is the symbol of the betrayal, he gets killed for that in the end. the dragon and the warrior queen and the tamed woman are the same, as they are all aspects of the heroes story how he interacts with nature and female energy, even in that sense is the defeat of the dragon a defeat of the female energy in themselfs to get to conquer/tame/suppress the female energy in themselfs. whatever, it`s a story of enslavement and in that it`s even worse a symbol. it`s not about evoking the kundalini, it`s a story about power abuse and suppression. therefore it`s a really bad story. how could christianity have a better story? yes it`s always the same story, that`s why the video is even worse. sorry to say it, but there is more manipulation in the video than a short sequence of the heroes journey, the full effect only comes out in the combination with other videos that have the same hidden agressiveness to them, while at the same time triggering female social instincts asking them to give themselfs up completely because it`s their ego that stands in their way, what is actually their life energy, the ego in the story is the male figure. but god is still "he" it´s painting a very bad picture about men in general and if you start to believe it and try to counterreact it`s getting even worse. of course you can learn from it, but it`s your energy you learn from while confusing it for male teaching making you even more dependent. it´s not by nature, it`s by design. but hey get over it, it`s your own responsibility.

if the bells don`t ring by now, i don`t know. they are not churchbells but bells for female uproar. it´s not teaching compassion.

i would even go futher and say it`s male power abuse, if it wasn`t forbidden to point out the devil.

Edited October 1, 2019 by remember