Feeling happy vs being happy

[krockerman]

I don’t agree with Leo that you are doing all of these things to have that moment of peace afterward. When I watched hacksaw ridge I loved every second of it. The moment of peace was at best a bonus. Feeling happy comes at bursts. Like when you experice chrismas with family, riding a roller coaster, expeirce a romantic moment etc. all of these moments you are feeling happy. But that does not mean you are happy. Being happy is What Leo talked about, being at peace when nothing is happening. Being present. I think the problem is people think black or white. They either go full being happy and just sit and meditate. Nothing wrong with that But i don’t think that is too far. The other is chasing the feeling of being happy. This Will make your life hell when you are not experice feeling happy. I think the way you should take to get the best of both is when you are not feeling anything and when nothing special is happeing is just being at peace and present. But when Good enjoyment comes along (Good as Things that are meaningful to your life narrative like being with you family friends and a romantic partner on Christmas, and not Things like heroin or winning the jackpot) Embrace all the joy 100% (and not think of them as egoic distractions) you should go for What you want. But at the same time be present and at peace. Wanting and looking forward to things can be a great experience

 

i also get that being happy is something you must be to enjoy the feelings of happiness 100%

Edited September 29, 2019 by krockerman

[MrBlue]

I've also have been thinking about the definition of happiness. A therapist once told me that life is like a rollercoaster. But, buddhism taught me that our true state is content and peace. Excitement, joy, euphoria are all passing states of emotions. This dichotomy of emotions is I think the result of a society that is always seeking pleasure, multitasking, and searching for the next best thing. I guess happiness is loving the plateau or the stillness in life. 

[Forestluv]

@krockerman Those are some nice insights. One thing I’ve noticed is expecting happiness or peace to look a certain way. One day, I was listening to some sad music and started feeling sad. They were really heartfelt songs - like about loving someone really deeply and the sorrow of losing that person. I felt deep sadness of the human experience in life. Yet it was also really beautiful. I was in this space for hours. Later, I met my girlfriend and she said “Oh no, you look sad. What’s wrong? Let’s get you happy”. . . The weird thing was, that nothing was “wrong” and I didn’t need to get happy. The sadness was really beautiful form of sadness. In a way, I was already happy. I didn’t want to change it. There was a deep form  of happiness and peace.  Not the kind of happiness like getting a present you want. Something deeper deeper than that. Like a happiness of deeply connecting to other human beings.

[JustThinkingAloud]

We feel happy when we get what we want and we all want different things that’s why it can be confusing.

[krockerman]

8 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@krockerman Those are some nice insights. One thing I’ve noticed is expecting happiness or peace to look a certain way. One day, I was listening to some sad music and started feeling sad. They were really heartfelt songs - like about loving someone really deeply and the sorrow of losing that person. I felt deep sadness of the human experience in life. Yet it was also really beautiful. I was in this space for hours. Later, I met my girlfriend and she said “Oh no, you look sad. What’s wrong? Let’s get you happy”. . . The weird thing was, that nothing was “wrong” and I didn’t need to get happy. The sadness was really beautiful form of sadness. In a way, I was already happy. I didn’t want to change it. There was a deep form  of happiness and peace.  Not the kind of happiness like getting a present you want. Something deeper deeper than that. Like a happiness of deeply connecting to other human beings.

yes, sadness can be beautiful. I loved hacksaw ridge even if it made me cry 

When i talking about felling happiness I am talking about eudaimonism. Not hedonism

Edited September 30, 2019 by krockerman

[JustThinkingAloud]

1 hour ago, krockerman said:

yes, sadness can be beautiful. I loved hacksaw ridge even if it made me cry 

When i talking about felling happiness I am talking about eudaimonism. Not hedonism

We start we hedonism as babies and then develop it into eudaimonism. Either way it’s all about hunting what we want/need and getting satisfaction when we get it, it’s our driving force.

[Forestluv]

12 hours ago, krockerman said:

yes, sadness can be beautiful. I loved hacksaw ridge even if it made me cry 

When i talking about felling happiness I am talking about eudaimonism. Not hedonism

I'm not referring to hedonism either. There can be a form of joy in sadness. 

[krockerman]

10 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

I'm not referring to hedonism either. There can be a form of joy in sadness. 

Yes 100%. I also find joy in saddnes sometimes

[pluto]

On 9/30/2019 at 9:48 AM, JustThinkingAloud said:

We feel happy when we get what we want and we all want different things that’s why it can be confusing.

But when you choose to be happy just because, you get all that you need without effort

Wants are irrelevant and never bring true happiness. It all starts with you.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

On 9/29/2019 at 4:39 PM, Serotoninluv said:

@krockerman Those are some nice insights. One thing I’ve noticed is expecting happiness or peace to look a certain way. One day, I was listening to some sad music and started feeling sad. They were really heartfelt songs - like about loving someone really deeply and the sorrow of losing that person. I felt deep sadness of the human experience in life. Yet it was also really beautiful. I was in this space for hours. Later, I met my girlfriend and she said “Oh no, you look sad. What’s wrong? Let’s get you happy”. . . The weird thing was, that nothing was “wrong” and I didn’t need to get happy. The sadness was really beautiful form of sadness. In a way, I was already happy. I didn’t want to change it. There was a deep form  of happiness and peace.  Not the kind of happiness like getting a present you want. Something deeper deeper than that. Like a happiness of deeply connecting to other human beings.

Yeah this is where conventional labels of emotions create problems of how one “should” be feeling. Like that beautiful sad feeling you are describing comes with a negative connotation in society, like its a problem that should be fixed. The automatic reaction by the average person would be “oh no! Thats terrible you feel that way”. And if one buys into that it will manifest itself as always seeking a “better” state and suppressing  what needs to come up. But instead just removing the label and feeling the raw emotional energy is positive in itself since we are designed to full feel into the full spectrum of emotions and not create additional thought stories of how a certain feeling should or shouldn’t be there.

[JustThinkingAloud]

5 hours ago, pluto said:

But when you choose to be happy just because, you get all that you need without effort

Wants are irrelevant and never bring true happiness. It all starts with you.

Notice how you chose to be happy just because, you made that choice because you wanted to make that choice, nobody else made you to make that choice. And yes, we can be happy with very little, it depends how much we choose to want and how difficult it is to get it. It certainly all does start with us

[pluto]

1 hour ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

Notice how you chose to be happy just because, you made that choice because you wanted to make that choice, nobody else made you to make that choice. And yes, we can be happy with very little, it depends how much we choose to want and how difficult it is to get it. It certainly all does start with us

You know what they say... The Mirror, Will Never Smile First