This is mostly a message of gratitude--to Leo. Leo's channel and videos came to me at a time of need and now for me liberation has happened. The illusion is completely seen through. Suffering is gone, the sense of doership/agency is gone, separation is gone, meaning is gone.  Thank you Leo for having your videos and this web site. They were an integral part of the profound shift that has happened. I want to tell my story briefly in case it inspires or helps anyone here. Caveats: I'm not interested in playing non-dual word games. I'll use 'regular' language so it's easier to understand. So-called 'enlightenment' is not a certifiable event. I'm not interested in arguing about whether or not I am really 'liberated'. I know my experience, and I’m not asking anyone to believe me. It doesn't matter. These are just words and concepts--pointers, not the truth. This is my experience. There are many paths. Go with what resonates for you. It's only a story, told by a fool, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.   The Story I first heard of enlightenment through zen in my early 20's - I somehow got an audio tape of 'The Way of Zen' by Alan Watts. I was intrigued, but thought liberation was out of reach for me, that it was only for monks or something. I did some zen and mindfulness reading in my 20's. Lots of Thich Nhat Hahn and some of the classics like Herrigel. Also some Taoism. Then more life happened and as I got older, my suffering increased. I realized that I was very anxious and had some anger management issues. I saw everyone in the world as an idiot if they didn't do things the way I thought they should. I found Leo's channel and his videos helped with anxiety, getting more positive, and increased my emotional intelligence and mental control. I started to meditate again, this time seriously and it stuck right away. I easily got up to 45-60 minutes a day. I loved it. Along the way, I re-discovered non-duality through Leo's videos.I read many books and watched countless videos on YouTube. I watched a lot of the 'big name' gurus like Mooji and Adyashanti, read some Peter Ralston. Then I found Rupert Spira from forums and Leo's book list. Rupert showed me my true nature. His pointers were so clear. I was looking for 'the answer' to "Who am I?" and somehow when he pointed it was immediately revealed. I did a couple of retreats with Rupert. They were beautiful experiences and the energy was intense. Rupert's teaching is close to Ramana Maharshi's and is sometimes called 'the direct path' because you go to your true nature and you stay there. That is, in essence, what I did. My daily meditation became this--abiding as awareness (it's also called things like 'resting in being' or 'going to the I am'--it's being in contact with your core/source). Rupert's yoga meditations helped dissolve tensions in the body and really helped deal with suffering (and there was a lot on the way). I discovered Roger Castillo, and though I originally dismissed him, he may have been one of the most helpful teachers for me. He has a practical, bottom-up approach and it helped me really really see that there is no doer in me or anyone--that this is all just happening. That may have been 'it' but it's hard to say. At some point a deep peace set in where there used to be self-referential thoughts (something left, nothing was gained). At another point, all the meaning dropped from the world. Neither were set points in time, I can't say exactly when they happened, but when I looked back I noticed them. There are still more insights and integration just seems to keep happening. For what it's worth, Jim Newman and Tony Parsons messages resonated well, but I was mostly just agreeing at that point. There is some energy there, though--they are to me like living koans. They are not for early on I don't think, but their message can stop thinking cold, revealing what can't be thought or known. So beautiful.   These things may have helped (who knows): I always had a curious, exploring nature. Always seeking. For example, I have two bars from "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" tattooed on my arm. There was questioning of reality from an early age, and a feeling that something isn't right--that I am not of this world or am somehow different. I have always had the ability to see and be comfortable with paradox. I had a near-death experience as a teen. What I felt when I gave in to the 'fact' that I was going to die was the same way I feel now. It was a very early glimpse but I thought it was 'God' at the time (I was right in a way). Teachers that really affected me (or seemed to): Rupert Spira Roger Castillo Jim Newman Other teachers I resonated with at some point and at some level: Ramana Maharshi Tom Das Paul Smit Gautam Sachdeva Fred Davis (he may seem kind of kooky but something in his energy spoke to me--it's not all about words) Lisa Cairns Tony Parsons Gangaji Tips for seekers: Follow your heart, not your head Question all assumptions Believe nothing The only way out is through Expect shit to come up You may need to clear energies that help hold the idea of separation together. Rupert Spira's yoga meditations helped me a lot in dissolving the physical sense of being a body. You must explore. This actually can't be known. It is prior to thought. It could be thought of like this: There is awakening, which I would call having a peak experience or glimpse. You momentarily contact what is and wow! Is it amazing. These apparently can last from minutes to weeks or even months (for me it was days). Then there is realization, which is a visceral 'wow' or 'aha' moment of getting it, but it's not over. This seems to be a result of contemplation. It almost bubbles up from inside you and you see how it is so intellectually-ish. Then there is liberation, when this realization is taken into life and seen in enough cases that self-referential thoughts fall away and everything simply becomes the way it is. It is so simple in the end. So ordinary and obvious. There are 'awake' people who never take this step.  It is important for suffering to fall away. Watch yourself like a hawk Towards the end especially, I did a lot of examining of what was going on. I would do quick 'rewinds' in my head of my experience and tried to determine if I actually did what I just 'did' or it just happened. This alone sparked awakenings/glimpses. Every thought is untrue. The core of it all is to investigate these beliefs and discover their untruth: I am a separate, individual entity in control of what I do. Actually, there is no doer in you or anyone. This is all just happening and it's aware of itself. I need circumstances to go the way I want them to in order to be happy and/or fulfilled. Actually, you do not need life to turn out a certain way to be happy. You are already complete, whole, and fulfilled at your core. Find your core (hint: it's the only thing that is always here).   Thanks again Leo, and peace to all of you. Ken   PS - Leo, you were so right. You are a strange loop.