Emotional Sobriety Journal

[Bill W]

@Amandine Thank you, Thank you! Stay tuned my friend. I aim to become fully 100% enlightened after my First Action Plan, and when that happens I will pass on some of my enlightenment to my closest actualized.org buddies, you included. There will be plenty of enlightenment to go around as I think my Cup will Runneth Over. I will become so enlightened it will be dangerous, and I will then need to undertake many days worth of low consciousness behaviours to bring my enlightenment down to manageable levels of enlightenment. 

Tongue firmly in cheek of course! 

Funnily enough I almost wrote entitlement instead of enlightenment, have a look at those two words and see how similar they are. Never noticed that before!

You'll learn a lot from this journal 

 

[Bill W]

THIS ENTRY IS ON MEDITATION (TEACHINGS & INTEGRATION)

Outside of general interaction with other forum members, hopefully most of my posts on this journal for now will relate to one or more of the below

• TEACHINGS & INTEGRATION - This is will be content from various sources, either written sources from books, written sources from the web, or clips via YouTube. I will write a short piece along with the teaching on why I think it's relevant to my journey and, hopefully, I'll briefly write about how I will try and integrate the teaching. 
• ACTION PLAN - One step along from integration talk. A clear plan of action I intend to follow through on.
• ACTION REVIEW - A review of the above planned action.

The following descriptions of meditation resonate with me and help guide me. 

Gil Fronsdal

• Developing an enhanced capacity to pay attention
• We are trying to stop thinking getting in the way
• The breath is at the centre of meditation
• We are training the mind to stay in the present
• Stay present with bodily sensations, even when agitated
• We are practising being non-reactive and non-judgmental
• You are not trying to accomplish anything other than to pay attention and notice your experience

Thich Nhat Hanh

• Mediation is mindfulness, concentration, and insight. It is bringing your mind home to your body.
• If you find yourself in the present moment, it means your mind and body are together. When you practice breathing mindfully, you bring your mind home to your body. Mindfulness is the energy that helps body and mind come together.
• Concentration is born from mindfulness. With concentration, you’re able to look deeply into what is there. You can make a breakthrough into reality. Insight is born from mindfulness and concentration.
• When you are focusing your attention on something during mindfulness, that something must be the most important thing in your life at that moment.
• The opposite of mindfulness is when our body may be there, but our mind is somewhere else.

My experience

• Inexplicably, I've come away from my meditation practice over the past few weeks. The mindfulness element really helped settle monkey mind for me. I mostly noticed that my mind was getting quieter with less "internal noise". I'm pretty sure it was also one of the reasons for being able to fall asleep faster at night. 
• There was three types of meditation I was doing. Not even spending a lot of time on it, but still getting good results. One of them was just sitting down, eyes closed, taking in the sounds around me. I'd always focus on sound. If I was somewhere so quiet where there literally was no sound, I would use an app on my phone (normally a ticking clock), but ideally, the sounds would not follow a set rhythmic pattern. So, good sounds for me were things like the wind making the tree branches move, birds singing, even the noise of traffic.As long as there was a noise to focus on, it kept me grounded. Whenever my attention wandered, I brought it back to the sound. Another type I did was in the bath. I'd be lying in the bathwater and I'd turn the tap on down the other end so it dripped, but only a tiny bit. Every time a water droplet hit the bath water it would cause a ripple, so I focused on that, and brought my attention back to that when my mind wandered off. The other type I did (and I call it meditation), was to sit down and really focus and contemplate on powerful texts. This would either be versus from the bible, written parts of my AA 12-step programme, or other spiritual type texts. I would read a small sentence at a time, but really slowly. When my mind wandered I brought my attention back to the text. I guess some would just call this normal reading! But for me, it was more than that. 

[Bill W]

THIS ENTRY IS ON MEDITATION (ACTION PLAN)

See above for context.

PLAN

• Restart meditation practice and drop the perfectionist approach whereby it's "all or nothing". Just take the first small steps again to establish habit and that's it. 
• During period 24 December to 27 December I will meditate at least once per day for 10 minutes.

[Amandine]

13 hours ago, Bill W said:

@Amandine Thank you, Thank you! Stay tuned my friend. I aim to become fully 100% enlightened after my First Action Plan, and when that happens I will pass on some of my enlightenment to my closest actualized.org buddies, you included. There will be plenty of enlightenment to go around as I think my Cup will Runneth Over. I will become so enlightened it will be dangerous, and I will then need to undertake many days worth of low consciousness behaviours to bring my enlightenment down to manageable levels of enlightenment. 

Tongue firmly in cheek of course! 

Funnily enough I almost wrote entitlement instead of enlightenment, have a look at those two words and see how similar they are. Never noticed that before!

You'll learn a lot from this journal 

 

 I love the tongue in cheek, I do that a lot!

[Amandine]

13 hours ago, Bill W said:

PLAN

• Restart meditation practice and drop the perfectionist approach whereby it's "all or nothing". Just take the first small steps again to establish habit and that's it. 
• During period 24 December to 27 December I will meditate at least once per day for 10 minutes.

Great first plan, best one to start with, good  luck Bill, you can do this! ? ? 

 

A perfectionist walked into a bar…apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough. 

 

[studentofthegame]

Russell brand is doing a free 12-day online course rooted in 12-step bill, starting 13th Jan i believe. I'm taking a look. 

[Bill W]

@studentofthegame

Cheers buddy, will keep an eye out. His 12-step book on recovery is brilliant by the way. 

UPDATE: I found the link and signed up. Cheers buddy.

https://www.onecommune.com/recovery-russell-brand-sign-up

 

Edited December 24, 2019 by Bill W

[studentofthegame]

I have the book bill. I'm considering joining co-dependents anonymous.

Good luck on the course, i have also signed up. No idea what to expect, but hopefully there's some healing and growth to be earned

[Bill W]

On 12/23/2019 at 10:32 PM, Bill W said:

THIS ENTRY IS ON MEDITATION (ACTION PLAN)

See above for context.

PLAN

• Restart meditation practice and drop the perfectionist approach whereby it's "all or nothing". Just take the first small steps again to establish habit and that's it. 
• During period 24 December to 27 December I will meditate at least once per day for 10 minutes.

Action Review of above

• I did do 10 minutes on 24 December. It was mindfulness using the sound of traffic. I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, back to the wall, eyes closed. This has usually worked quite well for me, but I found myself letting my attention rest on other things for too long before i tried to bring my attention back to the traffic noise. It felt reasonably good though, to have done it, to have tried.

 

• However, on 25 December I literally didn't bother, I told myself I am too tired, just at about the time I was going to do it. This is a lesson I keep having but not integrating. Don't leave meditation until too late in the evening. It is supposed to be focused activity (well that's how I want to use meditation). It's not something really to be done last thing just to "tick a box".

 

• On 26 December, I did 8 minutes. Couldn't even be bothered to get to the target of 10 minutes. I did 8 minutes of what I call prayer meditation. I read prayers very slowly, trying to feel the essence of the words and meanings. Didn't feel anything. Going through the motions. 

 

• 27 December, didn't do any.

 

So 4 days, involved 2 sits, and a total of 18 minutes. Useful though, as has led to a period of reflection. It's also introduced a small element of accountability which I like, by documenting my progress on here. 

I'm going to reset the activity just as it was. The goal is 4 consecutive days of meditation practice that involve a minimum of 10 minutes per day. To cover the days of 28 Dec, 29 Dec, 30 Dec, and 31 Dec. 

[Bill W]

In this journal, I like post word for word some of my favourite passages from my favourite books. These are things that resonate with me on a massive scale, that I try to action and implement in my life.

So far in this journal I've posted the following

• Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
• Dancing With Life – Phillip Moffitt
• The Buddha Said - Osho

All 3 can be access via the below link

Now it's time for book number 4 which is LETTING GO by DAVID R. HAWKINS. This is a lot more words than I've used for the previous 3 books. This is because Letting Go is incredible. Mega powerful read for me. 

 

David R. Hawkins - Letting Go The Pathway Of Surrender 

• It takes courage and self-honesty to see the smallness in ourselves. Only when we can acknowledge that we’ve inherited this from the human condition will we have the possibility to surrender and be free of it. By accepting it, we can transcend it.

• Because there is a progressive decrease in anxiety and negative emotions, there is less and less need for escapism via drugs, alcohol, food, entertainment, and excessive sleep.

• Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. We can pursue an endless variety of activities, many of which eventually become addictions as our dependency on them grows. There is a progressive loss of awareness and an arrest of growth. The halting of spiritual growth includes a loss of real interest in others. The projection of these repressed feelings results in social problems, disorders and an increase of character defects, including selfishness.

• All thoughts are filed in the minds memory bank under a filing system based upon the associated feeling. They are filed according to feeling, not fact.

• Fear of life is really the fear of emotions. It is not the facts that we fear but our feelings about them.

• Positive feelings flow naturally when negative feelings are not in action. Nothing needs to be done to acquire positive feelings, as they are part and parcel of our natural state. The positive inner state is always there and is it merely covered over by suppressed negative feelings. When the clouds are removed the sun shines forth.

• Ignore thoughts. They are merely endless rationalisations of inner feelings.

• The greater our attachment to that which is outside of ourselves, the greater is our overall level of fear and vulnerability to loss.

• It is interesting that the egotistical part of the mind is willing to sacrifice the whole remainder of a person for its own sake.

• Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty.

• We have to surrender our payoffs, one by one.

• Once we see pride for what it is, it is one of the easier emotions to surrender. The real answer is merely to let go of it by examining its true nature. We can ask ourselves: What is its payoff? For what does it compensate? What do I have to realise about my true nature in order to let pride go without a feeling of loss? The answer is rather obvious. The smaller we feel within, the more we have to compensate for an inner sense of inadequacy and unimportance.

• The power of self-healing is now available.

• Repressed and suppressed feelings require energy to keep them submerged. It takes energy to hold down our feelings. As these feelings are relinquished, the energy that had been holding down the negativity is now freed for constructive uses. Consequent to letting go, there is an increase in available energy for growth, production, and relationships.

• As one fear is relinquished, all fear is diminished non-specifically.

• Let go of what you get out of it (the payoffs).

• The process of surrender continues ever more deeply, as we let go of all doubt, all belief systems, all positions, all opinions, and all attachments.

• With humility, we are willing to relinquish our perception of a past event. We can do this surrendering the payoffs we get from keeping our perception of what happened.

• High levels of functioning are not only possible, but they are an inherent birth right. They are the natural state of which you have been deprived by all the programming that the mind has been subjected to since birth.

• There comes a time when you do whatever practice you’re doing without exception, all the time. The devotion to the truth becomes overwhelming. It isn’t that you are driving it. You’re being pulled by your own destiny; it is by your own karmic commitment that you’ve chosen the ultimate destiny. You surrender and let go of everything at the very moment it arises. So, every feeling, every thought, every desire, you let go at the peak of it. This becomes continuous, nonstop.

• So, serious spiritual work is a continuous willingness to let things go as they arise. It is the willingness to surrender wanting to control everything as it arises, the willingness to surrender wanting to change it, and to have it our way.

• This means that you cannot make an exception here, or an exception there. It means continuously, and with everyone and everything. The one or two things you hide behind probably represent a stack. That’s why your hanging on to them. It’s not just this annoying person you hate; they represent a whole stack of that energy to you. You can’t just skip over your mother-in-law!

• All lower emotions blind us to the reality of our true Self. As we surrender our way up the scale and near the top, a new type of experience begins to happen. Our new level of awareness and consciousness becomes self-evident and stunningly obvious.

• Handling a crisis from the emotional rather than intellectual level will shorten its duration dramatically. Until the underlying emotion is surrendered, the thoughts will be produced endlessly.

• Before reading on, it is advisable to sit quietly and make an inner decision to let go resisting higher levels of functioning. This means to make a decision to stop denying the higher levels to yourself and to make a decision to let go of all blocks to happiness, success, health, acceptance, love, and peace. The whole experience will now automatically begin to unfold.

• We can see how others were programmed just as we were. They, too, were doing what they thought was best at the time. We don’t have to blame them or ourselves anymore. We can give up the whole blame game as obsolete and ineffectual.

• Anger also progressively diminishes so that even a major provocation fails to elicit it.

• Pride blinds us to so many things that would be profoundly beneficial; to a prideful mind, to accept them would be inferring that we are wrong. Pride prevents us from seeing what is totally obvious. People die by the thousands because of pride. They literally give up their health and life itself. Addicts and alcoholics will go to their death because of the denial inherent in pride: “Other people have the problem – not me!”

• There is certainty that our own personal needs will be met; therefore, there is a shift in relationships so that the focus is on the welfare and happiness of others.

• That which we freely give to life flows back to us. Every gift returns to the giver. What we affirm in others, we actually affirm in ourselves.

• Since all judgment is really self-judgment, we have liberated ourselves in the process.

• All emotions toward others involve the basic belief that we are incomplete within ourselves and, therefore, others are viewed and utilised as a means to an end.

• The prideful person is constantly on the defensive because of this vulnerability. Conversely, the humble person cannot be humiliated for they are immune to vulnerability, having let go of pride. We let go of our need for validation or to prove ourselves right. The challenges against us fall away.

• Pride is no longer valued. It is seen as weak. Pride is thin ice, a poor substitute for that rock-like, real strength that comes from courage, acceptance, and peace.

• The truly humble are immune to humiliation. They have nothing to defend. Instead, the truly humble person sees the critical verbalisation or behaviour by another person as merely a statement of the other person’s inner problems. There is nothing to be offended about and no need to react.

• Pride carries with it a desire for recognition from others and, consequently, there is a vulnerability to anger and disappointment if it is not forthcoming at some point.

• Pride gets us boxed in and trapped. Beginners mind and open mind means we are admitting that we are not in possession of all the facts, and we are ready to change our opinion as the situation unfolds.

• Out of humility, all opinions about others are surrendered. In a certain way, nobody can help being other than what they are. Love knows this truth and takes no position. People are seen as simply “limited” and not “bad” or “unlovable”.

• There are a lot of payoffs to blame. We get to be innocent and enjoy self-pity and someone else gets to be guilty.

• It is very effective to surrender our expectations of others before we enter into a particular situation with them. Emotions are really subtle attempts to force others and impose our will on them.

• Are we willing to let go of the cheap little payoffs we get from blaming others and let go of the sympathy we may garner from those that listen to our complaints.

Edited December 28, 2019 by Bill W

[Bill W]

Honest admission: Still focusing way too much on theory here, but it's so enjoyable to sit in theory mode. It feels productive, comfortable, and bloody relaxing 

So, with that disclosure out of the way, here is a list of my Top 14 Books, in order of what has been the most insightful and useful in terms of my journey to wellbeing as I will call it. I've highlighted the top 3 because these three were a full on amazing experience.

 

1. Letting Go - David R. Hawkins

2. The Buddha Said - OSHO

3. The Mastery of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz

4. The Four Agreements  - Don Miguel Ruiz

5. Alcoholics Anonymous Text (The Big Book) 4th edition

6. Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

7. Meditations – Marcus Aurelius

8. Dancing With Life – Phillip Moffitt

9. Life Strategies - Dr Phillip C McGraw

10. The Chimp Paradox - Dr Steve Peters

11. Recovery - Russell Brand 

12. Divine Therapy & Addiction - Thomas Keating

13. Peace is every step - Thich Nhat Hanh

14. The Success Principles - Jack Canfield

[Raptorsin7]

@Bill W Do you have a meditation practice?

[Bill W]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Bill W Do you have a meditation practice?

Not a good one, take a look at some of my recent posts on this journal if you have the time, you won't have to scroll too far back. Within the past 7-10 days I have written about it. It's work in progress like the whole of my life  

[Raptorsin7]

@Bill W Okay. Just my experience, but if you take time to learn how to meditate properly it will do more for your life then any other practice or theory. When we got lost in our own stories, and try to solve everything by thinking it out we're fucked. Thinking our way to enlightenment won't work. Thinking our way to the point where we realize that thinking won't work however will work.

3 minutes ago, Bill W said:

It's work in progress like the whole of my life

The fact that you are in AA is a great step. A lot of "smart" people laugh at the idea of surrendering to a higher power, needing to follow steps etc. 

You seem to be like me and you spend a lot of time thinking about this work. How much time do you spend feeling this work?

[Bill W]

BIBLE

I am new to the Bible. There are only 3 books of the 66 I've read from start to finish. Generally, I've been collecting versus as I go, but do intend to read the Bible in it's entirety. These are some of the my favourite versus thus far. I've divided them into three categories; GRACE, LOVE, FEAR, and OTHERS.

 

Grace

1 Corinthians 10:13 - The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. NLT

2 Corinthians 5:7- For we walk by faith, not by sight. KJV

Luke 17:21 - Nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” KJV

Mark 8:34-35  - Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me (NLT) For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. (NIV)

Philippians 4:8-9 - And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me do doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. NLT

Psalm 4:4 - Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. NIV

 

Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. (NIV)

Proverbs 11:24-25 - One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed NIV

Ephesians 4:2 - Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. NLT

 

Fear

2 Corinthians 12:9 - Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. NLT

Ephesians 6:11 - Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. NLT

John 14:27 - “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid”. NLT

Philippians 4:6-7 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. NLT

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding (NIV). Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. NLT

Psalms 23:1-4 - A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (NIV)

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. NIV

 

Others

Isaiah 43:25 - I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. NLT

Matthew 18: 21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. NLT

James 1:19 - Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. NLT

Proverbs 11:12 - It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet. NLT

Proverbs 26:27 - If you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will crush you instead. NLT

[Bill W]

I have settled on my prayer routine.

These are my morning prayers. Yes, quite a few, as I need them. 

 

Loving Father,

Thank you for this new day,

Help me to live it, hand in hand with you.

 

Loving Father,

May your love overcome my resentment,

May your strength overcome my exhaustion,

May your truth overcome deceit,

May your hope overcome apathy,

May your light overcome darkness,

May your wisdom overcome confusion,

May your peace overcome my stress,

So that I might rise up with a new heart,

With rest and balance,

With transformed thoughts,

To face the challenges afresh.

 

Loving Father,

As I go into today,
Be with me Lord,
Be the patience when I'm frustrated,
Be the endurance when I am tired,
Be the wisdom when I am uncertain,
Be the inspiration when I'm out of ideas,
Be the peacemaker when I feel hurt,
Be the comforter when I feel overwhelmed,
Be the energy when I am weary,
Be the guide when I am confused,
Be the forgiver when I get it wrong,
Be with me Lord, today.
 

Loving Father,

This morning I put on the full armour of God. I put on the breastplate of Righteousness and carry the shield of Faith by receiving the mercy of God. I am putting on the shoes of peace. I don't know what's going to happen in my life today but whatever comes my way, I'm up for it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I'm ready for anything and I'm equal to anything. I’m going to go from Faith, to Faith, to Faith, to Faith. I'm going to stay in peace. I'm going to be adaptable, flexible, teachable, and resilient. Even if I don't get my own way, I'm still going to keep my peace. The devil's going to do what he's going to do, other people are going to do what they are going to do, but this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad.

 

Loving Father,

I Trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, and in all my ways acknowledge Him and let Him make my path straight.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.

Father, make me a channel of thy peace – that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness – that where there is discord, I may bring harmony – that where there is error I may bring truth – that where there is doubt, I may bring faith – that where there is despair, I may bring hope. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

Amen.

 

[Bill W]

I have settled on my prayer routine.

These are my before bed prayers. Yes, quite a few, as I need them. 

My morning ones are posted above this entry.

 

Loving Father,

Please help me to receive all the good gifts you gave me today with thanksgiving and gratitude in my heart.

 

Loving Father,

Beneath your wings

Filled with light

I have no fear.

Wading through truth

Clean and bright

I have no fear.

Dwelling in love

Safe at night

I have no fear.

Soaking in your hope

Eternity sings

I have no fear.

 

 

Loving Father,

May your love overcome my resentment,

May your strength overcome my exhaustion,

May your truth overcome deceit,

May your hope overcome apathy,

May your light overcome darkness,

May your wisdom overcome confusion,

May your peace overcome my stress,

So that I might rise up with a new heart,

With rest and balance,

With transformed thoughts,

To face the challenges afresh.

 

 

Loving Father,

I Trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, and in all my ways acknowledge Him and let Him make my path straight.

Amen.

 

[Amandine]

These are lovely @Bill W ❤️

 

Edited January 1, 2020 by Amandine

[Bill W]

The below is almost a carbon copy of what I posted somewhere else on the forum a few days ago. It might read a bit weird as it was specifically directed to one member but that doesn't matter now. This is about my shadow. The crux is, do I use the principle of not-knowing mind to avoid committing to a concept or principle? Do I see arrogance in others where there is none when these others state something as fact when I think 'how could you possibly know that for sure?'

This was my post

Do you think you know enough to make this statement? The one I quoted you on. You don't need to justify it. You might just say it's your gut feeling to make a statement like that. 

I wanted to add my motives here in the spirit of honesty. I value 'not knowing' mind as a principle because it can help check my arrogance and keep me open minded before I start jumping to conclusions and closing my open mind down. BUT I wonder sometimes if I am using this as a get out clause for making a committment to ideas or thoughts. Basically when I question if YOU KNOW enough to make a grand statement like that, am i simply projecting at you because your statement rubs me up the wrong way OR are you actually a little arrogant? 

So this is more about me than you mate. But welcome your feedback.

Could I be subtly calling out people for arrogance because I'm projecting my own uncertainty about things?

[Bill W]

Update

Have run into troubled waters. Well that's what my senses are reflecting back to me. 

Fear - Fuck Everything And Run

Or

Fear- Face Everything And Recover

Something more powerful than me (and I know who He is) is gently reminding me that the waves and weather have not changed and there is still opportunities for plain sailing, and that there is really no need to sound the alarm and shout "All hands on deck".

Him "Bill, lean not on your own understanding remember"

Me "But are you sure?"

Him "Of course I am sure. I am God"

Me "I know that, but I am a special case who might slip through the net"

Him "What do you think Faith is?"

Me "True"

Him "Okay mate. Catch you later. Have a nice day and calm the fuck down. You are fine. It's okay. You've been knocked down. Just get back up again. You gonna be okay.  It's all good my man. "