I just wrote this reflection. Thoughts?

[fewrocker]

There is clearly something going on.

 

We just keep living our lives, day after day, pretending everything is so normal. Yet, deep down, we can feel anytime: there is something going on.

 

Actually, it seems like our daily grind happens with the reason of trying to make us believe that that’s it. By engaging in daily, mechanical, repetitive activities, we might even determine life is predictable and usual.

 

Yet, I believe we can all feel it. Between all the moments of normality, there is a space. A space where we feel a little curiously unsure. It tickles us. There are gaps between all the normality we try so much to establish. And no matter how much effort we put into building a regular experience, we can’t fill it all. The time will come when we will look around and ask: What the fuck is going on?

 

Maybe that’s why we like to step outside sobriety. Sober is when we do our best pretending. Somehow, pretending has become our baseline. But it is so stupid. We can’t pretend everytime. Soon, we will arrive there again. The land of altered consciousness. And just as i finished writing this sentence, I rolled a joint and here we are again. The train has arrived. Many people see alcohol and weed as just ways of “geting crazy”. For me, who consume and average but soothing amount, they are a way to see things differently.

 

This game of pretending is tiring and we all know it. We feel it every time. But look how much strength we have at keeping pretending. There is a lot of willpower going on for the pretending to continue. If we spent half of that energy on creating the reality we desire, we would already be there. But we don’t.

 

In some ways, this pretending is beautiful. It is like we are all in this dance. This dance of the kind of things you are expected to do and say. So many people synchronized. The simple will never lose its beauty.

 

However, human beings are so unique, so authentic. Everyday that passes, I get more astonished by this. Everyone is so fucking unique. A richness that we can’t measure. At the same time, everyone is trying to be the same exact thing. The scheme is pretty obvious. All people can develop eyes to see past the masks and into the unique, and the more conscious you become, the more richness presents itself to you. You get baffled. So baffled you feel almost like it is too much, the you couldn’t deserve this much. But reality over delivers, and you deserve it.

 

To the ones who can see further, reality is always over delivering. That is because they see so much they leave space for not seeing. They can see that reality looks still, but it is always in movement, recombining itself to show something new. The ones who keep pushing very hard to pretend, and therefore not see, will then see a limited reality.

 

Maybe that is the strategy. You pretend so much your reality becomes limited. And then you can handle it. Because if you leave space for this doubt, this observation, this expanding, shit will hit the fan. Reality will be so much it will damage you. It will damage your perceptions and desires that reality is just fucking regular, predictable and boring, and that this self makes so much sense. Bad news for you: it is not. Or rather, good news for you: it is not.

 

The dance of pretending goes on, always so beautiful. But regularly, you will find yourself drinking another bottle of alcohol again. 3, 2, 1… and you’re drunk again! You’re high again! Why? You thought about how obvious it is that you should stop drinking, but you drank again. So you can find yourself in this state of escapism. But funny thing. The more you try to escape reality, the more inside of it you find yourself. The weed has settled in now. And it feels so profound.

 

I look at the sames things I’ve looked before, such as the doors in my wardrobe. Yellow and wine. I see the exact same image, maybe a little fuzzier, but I see so much more than compared to 4 years ago. I have been opening up. Opening up to the possibilities of this World. And as you open yourself to it, simultaneously they start to show themselves to you. They were always there, but you just couldn’t see them. They were inside your field of vision, but invisible. Invisible, but so obvious.

 

There is clearly something going on. And it is not hidden at all. We can’t find it not because it is furtive, deceptive or hidden. We can’t find it because it is so fucking obvious. So obvious we can’t believe it’s true. I’m too smart to fall for this crap. But the magic is that you should fall for it. Fall for how simple reality is. So simple your complexity could not understand it. So complex your simplicity could not understand it. All here, in your face.

 

Everytime this sign where you look at things and think “there is something going on here” shows up, acknowledge it. Bring it in, observe it. This could be a great first step to your awakening.