motivations do not work at me

[milii]

everyone has a lot of problems in the lives so i do also have problems come and go but the scars and wound remain the same i dont know why it heppens whenever i try to overcome any of the problem i loose my temper and i quit i have seen hundreds of motivation videos and help of therepist it worked but not longer these all therepies and motivations and medications work for a short time period i am far away from living a normall life i have lost sleep and ability to wor i always have sucidel thoughts and harming myself i even do harm my self and realise it when i feel pain its so terrifying i want to live as other live why i am even so emotional why thoughts are always killing me i even feel jealous when i see someone in a happeir relation i lock my self in washroom and get out after crying for hours everyone is tired of my frustated behavior 

[okulele]

5 hours ago, milii said:

everyone has a lot of problems in the lives so i do also have problems come and go but the scars and wound remain the same i dont know why it heppens whenever i try to overcome any of the problem i loose my temper and i quit i have seen hundreds of motivation videos and help of therepist it worked but not longer these all therepies and motivations and medications work for a short time period i am far away from living a normall life i have lost sleep and ability to wor i always have sucidel thoughts and harming myself i even do harm my self and realise it when i feel pain its so terrifying i want to live as other live why i am even so emotional why thoughts are always killing me i even feel jealous when i see someone in a happeir relation i lock my self in washroom and get out after crying for hours everyone is tired of my frustated behavior 

how can I help?

[milii]

@okulele tell me what should i do to have a normal life

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

Find ways to make yourself happy again, happy moments give you energy and motivation. It might be difficult to start with but when you persevere you'll get there. This is very important, don’t worry about other unimportant things, they might be sucking the energy out of you. Once you get more energy and motivation, then you can deal with the rest of the problems.

[okulele]

@milii Is there something you find beautiful? Is there a place you love to go to? Is there an activity that you know is true for you?   What is it for you? Don't say nothing, everyone has these things. Think about it, find it and make your stand there. Find your passion for life in 'this thing', that you know is there for you. You know what I am speaking of, don't you? There is something.

[ajasatya]

15 hours ago, milii said:

@okulele me what should i do to have a normal life

Stop thinking that you don't have a normal life. This silent agony is more common than you think. Virtually everyone is a piece of suffering flesh, specially those who put a lot of effort to look happy.

That's normal life: a series of days of sorrow and despair.

If you want to get out of the mud, you will have to live an extraordinarily anormal life. The first step is questioning every single belief about what it means to be happy. You absorbed those as you grew up, which is expected. Now it's time to free yourself.

[Truth Addict]

It's normal, we all have problems.

Don't worry, it will soon pass, whatever it is.

Healing takes time. Love yourself in the meantime.

Hang in there, we all love you ❤️

[Average Investor]

You just need to make a small improvement everyday and try to focus on the positive. Maybe try to go for a walk for 10 minutes a day. And stat to increase that as you go. Rain or shine. It help you feel happier and help you get your mind in a better place for awhile. I hope to see you doing better. 

[Nahm]

What is so heavy on your conscience? 

 

[milii]

@Truth Addict healing takes time but it kills too

 

[Truth Addict]

20 minutes ago, milii said:

@Truth Addict healing takes time but it kills too

Every end is a new beginning 

Edited September 29, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Zigzag Idiot]

@milii possibly study different typologies in order to find ways or recognize how to undo some of these possible twists.

You mention anger which points to the personality Enneatype 1 (the perfectionist) who's chief feature is anger

On 9/27/2019 at 6:26 AM, milii said:

i feel pain its so terrifying i want to live as other live why i am even so emotional why thoughts are always killing me i even feel jealous when i see someone in a happeir relation i lock my self in washroom and get out after crying for hours everyone is tired of my frustated behavior 

This suggest possibly you may also fall into the category of man#2 as well in the (endocrine) essence type ( center of gravity) in the Queen of hearts, feeling everything in such an intence emotional way,,,,

just my thoughts,,,,, good luck ? With your work.

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 9/27/2019 at 6:26 AM, milii said:

everyone has a lot of problems in the lives so i do also have problems come and go but the scars and wound remain the same i dont know why it heppens whenever i try to overcome any of the problem i loose my temper and i quit i have seen hundreds of motivation videos and help of therepist it worked but not longer these all therepies and motivations and medications work for a short time period i am far away from living a normall life i have lost sleep and ability to wor i always have sucidel thoughts and harming myself i even do harm my self and realise it when i feel pain its so terrifying i want to live as other live why i am even so emotional why thoughts are always killing me i even feel jealous when i see someone in a happeir relation i lock my self in washroom and get out after crying for hours everyone is tired of my frustated behavior 

With the possibility that I may stumble into a place of partially losing my marbles, I shared a link to my Journal with my former and potential Therapist a few weeks ago. Hi Jim! I put Jim potentially in charge of the big safety net.

I still intend to seek council from Emerald on a couple issues in the near future, though.

Silence is Golden... Sometimes
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2019 Dr. Jim Rosen

His mini-column just released this morning.
 

    There are times when you need to speak up and express yourself.  But for those of you who grew up with abuse or neglect, expressing yourself is most difficult to do.  In your early world, it frankly wasn't safe.  It wasn't even safe to feel things, let alone show those feelings.  And saying them to outsiders was especially taboo.  Dysfunctional homes can have a lot of "family secrets."  These secrets add fuel to the idea that you are somehow terrible and awful.  Your early world invades your present life and spills over to other things that should be shared.  You dread that the people you want to share with will think you're bad.  So you keep quiet.  And the negative feelings about yourself spiral.  Psychotherapy can end this vicious spiral and release you from your hiding place.  The silence is broken, and at long last the pain and bad feelings are cast off.
 

    Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist.  He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor.  He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.
    Dr. Rosen sees patients in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas (20 minutes from Hot Springs).  Because he doesn't accept insurance, his fee is only $55 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment.  Of course it's best when you can work with him face to face, but when that isn't possible, telephone sessions are available.  He can be reached anytime at 501-623-2050.

If you like Dr. Rosen's column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday.  If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line.