How long do you do basic self development?

[Alex bAlex]

Boy, I thought that after two years I'll get a promotion or something similar, only to get back to square one. 

Meditation practice went out the window, the same with exercising and nutrition (although with the nutrition I am still paying some attention to what's going into my body). - not to say that I am not change but it feels like sand running out of my hand - 

I feel no drive to progress or to do something with my life. My financial situation is getting worse instead of getting better and all I am doing is watching myself fucking myself

I am watching the episode of how to overcome the addiction and now it makes so much sense. 

So how long have you done basic self development? 

 

[Average Investor]

You should watch the backsliding one. I watched it over and over every time I thought about not going for my 6 mile walk. You time is not important it is the quality. I have had some of the largest spiritual growth in a months time. But it has taken me years and years of work to get though the hoops of basic personal development and I assume there could still be more to come.

Start with one habit and get that habit super strong. Don't skip more than a day! Pick one thing that would be the most beneficial to you right now. Then once you have done that all month try to add something else maybe. Slowly change your diet etc. 

It's okay to feel like you are a little stuck. You could be having some ego back lash and it happens. Just maintain the habits you have a foundation for as best you can. 

I have had the walking habit for over a year now and I will go through snow, rain, high heat, etc. It would be very difficult for me at the point to actually just stop doing it. Yeah, I have to kick myself a little to get out and go, but I do it. I jog 2 of 6 miles, then upper body for like 20 minutes when I get home. Then the next day I do either a 7.5 mile biking session w/ 20 ,imute upper body or a full hour plus workout at home. 

I just now integrated it to not miss a day and have been doing great. But you know maybe a day here or there I could miss the upper body. I even dropped off the upper body for awhile at one point, but I want it badly enough to maintain it. 

I want you to think of how much better your life could be with those habits. Mine is so much more fulfilling and good I love it. I am completely different person than what I was a year ago. 

This was me one year ago.

50 LBS heavier 

Addicted to nicotine

Ate fast food and garbage a lot

In an extremely toxic relationship 

Tons of toxic friends that would use me and steal from me

No exercise

Weak purpose 

Weak daily routine

Just doing enough to get by and look the part

 

Me today:

Vegan 

Bmi is like 20-21(forget what doctor had) But I look way better

No added sugar 

No alcohol

No nicotine 

No added sugar 

Super clean diet 

Strong mediation habit (working on making better mediation though) 

Left all negative friends. Have one I see to go hiking with sometimes

Left toxic ex

Can attract nearly any girl I want, but want to find a high quality partner for meaningful relationship

Working on building a big purpose and a very meaningful life ( I love the business I have now) 

Strong work out routine 

  

YOU CAN DO IT. I know you can. My life has been a loop of fighting and fight and finally I just said fuck being a loser. I've had a large amount of hurdles, I could have just sat around and given every excuse in the book and I did for a long time. 

Edited September 26, 2019 by Average Investor

[Leo Gura]

Until you die

[RawJudah]

It’s always going to be 1 step forward and 2 steps back. That’s what it feels like to me. 

Your probably having an ego backlash. Your mind will tell you your not really growing but in fact you probably are. 

This is slow work too, it takes years... if you can accept that fact then you should feel more relaxed. 

[LastThursday]

14 hours ago, Alex bAlex said:

I am watching the episode of how to overcome the addiction and now it makes so much sense. 

That's how you know you're making progress. At first nothing makes any sense or it's not even on your radar, then BOOM! It all clicks into place.

All this work feels like just treading water, and sometimes like you're drowning. But actually slowly the tide is pulling you towards the shore.

Edited September 27, 2019 by LastThursday

[flowboy]

I try to let go of the fantasy of reaching this final state where my lofty habits are permanent and effortless.

Instead, I see myself as a goat that got stuck in a muddy ditch. Then the goat drags himself out of the ditch and keeps walking. But he slides back in the ditch many times again. And drags himself out.

This will always happen.

What actually changes is:

• The goat becomes stronger and more efficient at dragging himself out of the ditch, so he can spend more time on the path
• The goat becomes confident that he will always drag himself back out, as is his experience. Therefore, he spends less time moping and doubting, each time he slides down.

 

 

@Alex bAlex  I'm actually having a backlash right now, where the only difference habit-wise between me and a year ago would be that I don't smoke. All the meditation, exercising, scheduling, even brushing my teeth regularly is out the window.

But I don't worry. Because I know the process, and it will go quicker this time.

Edited September 27, 2019 by flowboy

[Alex bAlex]

@flowboy @LastThursday @RawJudah @Average Investor

On 27/09/2019 at 0:40 AM, Leo Gura said:

Until you die

-Duuuhhhh!!!!

Thank you so many guys for all the replies. The rollercoaster sometimes slows down only to get more velocity later on. Going back to the old days is exciting and fun ...for a couple of moments. Then my new eye lens senses the bullshit and the misery that I am heading towards and give me a buzz of "hey douchebag, wake the fuck up". 

All this "downgrade" starts to happen after the vipassana retreat at the end of May- didn't think that the ego backlash could be so bad. Nevermind- I changed houses, got self-employed, made new friends and experience a lot of growth on other sides of my life. (becoming self-employed require a lot of self-discipline - I can't imagine the level of discipline required to be the director of your company).

 

But becoming self-employed and having the freedom of choosing my working hours brought me down, as I start to have more days off instead of working at least 60 to70 hours a week as I planned, to get out of financial troubles, Never mind- only a cry here. Sorry

Thanks-love!

 

Edited September 30, 2019 by Alex bAlex

[flowboy]

Hey man, you accomplished a whole bunch of stuff!

At this stage, reorganizing your life to be more conducive to your self-actualization is super important, more so than how many days in a row you worked out or whatever.

Congratulations!

What do you do, being self-employed, if I may be so curious?

?

 

[arlin]

I think it's important to slow down man.

I realized for me, this is something that takes so much time, and i have to set the right expectations otherwhise i will just put pressure on myself etc. 

Also, have a strong fkin why. 

Why am i doing this? 

I realized i am doing personal development to escape myself and my pain. If this is the true, i am fucked. 

I want to build a strong self esteem and sense of self first, this means listening to my emotions and do what i genuinly want to do. 

If this means i dont want to do self actualization right now, i am not going to do it. 

[StarStruck]

If you fully understand you are going to die one day, you will feel the heat under your ass but that isn’t a guarantee you will do work though. Procrastination is a multi pronged problem. I have problems with it too. 

Don’t underestimate diet though. Find out on what foods your body works best on. For example I added bunch of green vegetables and fish (and fish eggs) and that took away my low energy. 

Too masturbation could be a problem too. Just don’t masturbate for a month to three months and see what kind of beast you become. Too much masturbation decrease dopamine and that lowers your incentives to do stuff.  

Edited October 1, 2019 by StarStruck

[Average Investor]

Hope you are doing well. You will get back on track. It happens to the best of us. 

[Alex bAlex]

19 hours ago, flowboy said:

What do you do, being self-employed, if I may be so curious?

Cabbie man. I left the boring lorry driving to become a taxi driver. However the same shit, different day(not really but I like to complain ?) 

16 hours ago, arlin said:

listening to my emotions and do what i genuinly want to do. 

Kind of difficult tasks, as I am fighting with a lack of identity. All the time I am asking myself "who am I?" I get nothing to be indetify with (or at least I am aware that I am not the job, the diet or the nationality that I have been born with). And all this leads to some confusion and hopeless(?). There has been a few situations recently when I have been asked who am I and my response was long delayed because I was thinking to "who the fuck am I". Nonetheless first I answered "aammm nobody" then after a poker face from the other participants I start to construct a response to match the needed answer. - to be fair I would like to become a dj but I am afraid that I will invest x£ in tools and time only to get dust on it - 

16 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Don’t underestimate diet though. Find out on what foods your body works best on. For example I added bunch of green vegetables

Got back cooking and feeling much energized and focused. Green power ?

16 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Just don’t masturbate for a month to three months and see what kind of beast you become.

Felt that and is amazing. 4, 2,5and 1 moths are the best I have done so far. But it seems that I am fighting for all this only when the pain is at high levels and I see no other way of dragging myself out. Hmmm more discipline! 

 

10 hours ago, Average Investor said:

You will get back on track

Harder
Better
Faster
Stronger