You don't become an asshole by speaking truth.

[CreamCat]

If you become an asshole by speaking truth, speaking truth just reveals the fact that you are an asshole who constantly judges others.

If you habitually act out of love, you don't become an asshole by speaking truth.

If you are the type of person who wants to help people by telling them what's holding them back, speaking truth doesn't make you an asshole.

Speaking truth just reveals who and what you are.

Express yourself, and learn who you are.

Speaking truth = Expressing yourself = Self expression

Edited September 26, 2019 by CreamCat

[LastThursday]

An asshole is just someone who lacks empathy. But bear in mind psychopaths, narcissists and those on the autistic spectrum have the same problem.

Speaking truth has nothing to do with empathy (on an everyday level).  But you have to be careful that you're speaking the truth and not just your truth.  In fact you're the worst person to judge if you're speaking truth (you could be very deluded).

Obviously you can just not be an asshole by showing some empathy. Maybe your target is not ready for the truth?

 

Edited September 26, 2019 by LastThursday
prepositions

[Commodent]

1 hour ago, CreamCat said:

If you become an asshole by speaking truth, speaking truth just reveals the fact that you are an asshole who constantly judges others.

Haha YES! If speaking the truth is constantly causing you problems, that's probably a sign you've got some inner work to do. Thank you for the insight.

Funny thing is, when most people say they're speaking the truth, they're not really speaking the truth. They're just blindly acting out their defenses instead sharing their authentic experience.

[CreamCat]

1 hour ago, Commodent said:

Funny thing is, when most people say they're speaking the truth, they're not really speaking the truth. They're just blindly acting out their defenses instead sharing their authentic experience.

Acting out defenses is a form of self-expression.

When people say they are saying truth, what they actually mean is that they are expressing themselves as fully as humanly possible.

Just because you express yourself as fully as possible, what you say doesn't automatically become truth.

Edited September 26, 2019 by CreamCat

[Knock]

I think it's the intention behind speaking the truth that is most important. 

If it comes from a place of trying to prove something, a place of resistance or negative emotion (anger, frustration, jealousy, etc), then what you say will come across negatively and only pushes people away.

If you come from a place of genuine compassion, speaking truth is more about listening and offering help when asked or necessary. You have to develop a connection first with people, before they will accept what you say (your truth).

For a strange metaphor: It's like forcing someone to fly to Hawaii on a free holiday, versus offering someone a free holiday to fly wherever they want.

"Seek to understand, then be understood" - Steven Covey

[loub]

Nice post. By speaking the truth, the truth changes. By speaking the truth that is grounded in you being an asshole the possibility of transformation opens up. By keeping it in you resist being an asshole and will remain to be one.

The inability to speak the truth comes from identification with some part that you perceive to be constant, that needs protection to survive. The more you let go of that, the more mindful you will be and the more excitement, aliveness and spontaneity you will experience in your life.

[ajasatya]

@CreamCat It's not that simple. You can be an asshole as you speak the truth. The truth can hurt people, depending on how you say it. You can say it politely, gently and calmly or you can just say it without taking the feelings of others into consideration.

Tenderness is far more advanced than simply not lying.

[Derek White]

Real Truth cannot be spoken or communicated. 

Also, what is meant by telling the truth is being honest with yourself, not necessarily being honest with other people. Telling the ‘truth’ to other people can get you or other people into trouble. There are so many situations where telling the truth would make you an asshole, this should be common sense.

Life is complex, merely sharing your perspective every time won’t solve all your problems. It could get you killed even.

 

[pluto]

There's always a great battle between speaking the truth or being kind. The choice is yours.

Truth is important, but it takes care of itself, don't have to repeat seeds of truth once they are planted.

After they are planted, focus on being Kind. Kindness will heal you and transcend you back to your true self <3

I personally always chose truth but as i get wiser i am directing back to kindness because that is my true nature.

Do and Say what "Feels" right to you.

 

[Forestluv]

@CreamCat 

How does one know what they speak is truth? Who/what decides what is truth?

[CreamCat]

3 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@CreamCat 

How does one know what they speak is truth? Who/what decides what is truth?

One does not know. One just feels it is speaking truth

I can be very deluded when I feel that I am speaking truth.

Only you can decide what is truth, but you can be deluded.

You can ground your conclusions in your direct experiences, but you are still not immune to errors.

However, whenever I feel that I'm speaking truth, I definitely am expressing myself as fully as possible without holding back. Thus, speaking truth is the same as self expression.

Edited September 27, 2019 by CreamCat

[CreamCat]

11 hours ago, ajasatya said:

Tenderness is far more advanced than simply not lying.

Then, speaking truth reveals the fact that you are inconsiderate. Being inconsiderate is similar to being an asshole.

It's very difficult to speak truth while holding myself back. Self expression seems to be a natural part of speaking truth.

Edited September 27, 2019 by CreamCat

[Forestluv]

3 hours ago, CreamCat said:

One does not know. One just feels it is speaking truth

I can be very deluded when I feel that I am speaking truth.

Only you can decide what is truth, but you can be deluded.

You can ground your conclusions in your direct experiences, but you are still not immune to errors.

However, whenever I feel that I'm speaking truth, I definitely am expressing myself as fully as possible without holding back. Thus, speaking truth is the same as self expression.

This kinda stuff can get tricky. . . If one does not know truth and truth is a feeling - it opens the door to relative subjective experience. I'm not saying you are wrong. It's just something I like to explore. . . So, what if my girlfriend and I are in an argument. Let's showed up 15 minutes late to an event and she is very upset and says I disrespected her. I tell her there was traffic on the highway due to a car accident and I couldn't help it. She says I should have left earlier. Then she suggests that since I didn't text her saying I would be late, that I did it intentionally to get even for something else. Now I'm upset. I didn't do this intentionally.

So each of us see this very differently. Each of us is feeling upset and speaking our truth (based on our feelings). Yet if the truth is speaking our feelings, which one of us has the truth. Are both of us speaking truth? If so, the term "truth" loses meaning. If we are both truth, then it cancels each other out and we are just speaking our feelings. 

[CreamCat]

2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

This kinda stuff can get tricky. . . If one does not know truth and truth is a feeling - it opens the door to relative subjective experience. I'm not saying you are wrong. It's just something I like to explore. . . So what if I my girlfriend and I are in an argument. Let's showed up 15 minutes late to an event and she is very upset and says I disrespected her. I tell her there was traffic on the highway due to a car accident and I couldn't help it. She says I should have left earlier. Then she suggests that since I didn't text her saying I would be late, that I did it intentionally to get even for something else. Now I'm upset. I didn't do this intentionally.

So each of us see this very differently. Each of us is feeling upset and speaking our truth (based on our feelings). Yet if the truth is speaking our feelings, which one of us has the truth. Are both of us speaking truth? If so, the term "truth" loses meaning. If we are both truth, then it cancels each other out and we are just speaking our feelings. 

There are relative truths.

Physical spacetime is also relative to other points of spacetime. Remember eintein's relativity theory.

By the way, you write your imaginary girl friend as if you directly experienced it.

I hope she was hot enough.

Edited September 28, 2019 by CreamCat

[Forestluv]

50 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

There are relative truths.

Physical spacetime is also relative to other points of spacetime. Remember eintein's relativity theory.

Yea, relative truths. You are expanding faster than the universe my friend.

52 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

I hope she was hot enough.

She was. I was so enamored by her beauty. But the cray cray became too much.

[MAYA EL]

15 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

This kinda stuff can get tricky. . . If one does not know truth and truth is a feeling - it opens the door to relative subjective experience. I'm not saying you are wrong. It's just something I like to explore. . . So, what if my girlfriend and I are in an argument. Let's showed up 15 minutes late to an event and she is very upset and says I disrespected her. I tell her there was traffic on the highway due to a car accident and I couldn't help it. She says I should have left earlier. Then she suggests that since I didn't text her saying I would be late, that I did it intentionally to get even for something else. Now I'm upset. I didn't do this intentionally.

So each of us see this very differently. Each of us is feeling upset and speaking our truth (based on our feelings). Yet if the truth is speaking our feelings, which one of us has the truth. Are both of us speaking truth? If so, the term "truth" loses meaning. If we are both truth, then it cancels each other out and we are just speaking our feelings. 

Sounds like both of you have some growing up to do if you two want to have a successful relationship.