I just cant sleep alone at my home

[Kiko]

Hello guys, i'm coming with issue which i've had my entire life and now i finally became aware and realized that this problem have to be solved. I'm 25 years old and before two weeks i decided to face my fears and sleep alone at my home for the first time in my life. The first few times i knew that is going to be hard but i thought that i will get used to. My nights were terrible and exhausting i was waking up at midnight scared as fuck and trying to watch tv  until i fall asleep again feeling anxious all the time, i'm afraid to close my eyes i dont feel safe at all. All my lamps in the apartment are turned on and also the TV, because if the tv its not turned on i cant stand the stillness. Instead improvment my situation was going worse and worse. I decided to go back in my parents house because i just cant stand one more night. I have visions of things i've encountered in my past like scary and crime movies, last midnight at 3 pm i woke up scared as fuck thinking about one of the characters in Twin Peaks movie, the guy with long hair who killed Lora Palmer  I was so scared man i was afraid to move and leave my room. Whole my life i've been afraid sleeping alone, i remember that when i was younger i was afraid to sleep alone in my bed (not my room, but my bed) if in the room had person and its not in my bed i was also afraid. Gradually i get used to  sleep alone in my room when there are people in the house. When i was younger my relatives were telling very scary (fiction or not) stories, and i think that this is one of the roots of the problem but not the only one. I realized that in my case courage is not enough the problem is deeper.

So what would be the best things to do to deal with this problem. Maybe the most important one will be to visit a therapist. I forgot to mention that all this 5 days which i was trying to sleep alone i was taking sedatives before sleep ( not strong ones but still) and that didnt work also.

 

[Truth Addict]

How about just staying awake in silence? Do you get any thoughts/feelings from that too?

Have you considered that the type of house can be of some effect on you?

Edited September 25, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Kiko]

Actually i cant imagine sleeping alone in a house, for me is much scarier than sleeping in apartment. I dont think the reason is the home i live in. I cant stay awake in silence during the night because if i hear some noise i just freakout, there have to be some noise from the tv when i'm alone because i think that i might hear something that may scary me.

[Truth Addict]

How about if your favourite music is playing in the background, or on headphones?

Edited September 25, 2019 by Truth Addict

[JustThinkingAloud]

Wow, that’s a really good effort. Don’t give up, it’ll be easier next time as you have more experience now and can learn better ways of doing it. Next time, I’d put on a movie that gives you courage, eg some story how people can be happy on their own. And also whenever you start feeling bad, start thinking about and imagining things that give you courage and make you feel better. It will still take some effort but each time you try will make the next time easier and eventually you’ll have no problems at all.

Good luck

[ajasatya]

@Kiko Therapy can be very helpful with phobias.