Partner Pretends Shes Fine And Im Crap

[Will]

So my ex is very critical of me and my actions and has never once told me about how she feels and what she is working on..

Why is it that I take this on and work at it  and feel like crap 

while she gets to live high and mighty, because I agree with her and decide to eat humble pie..

its seems like me being open and infallible made her some god like figure..

What gives??

[Corte]

this is a classic design by ego. By making you feel less, she can feel more (on the surface of course) but this balance can only exist in a person completely identified with their physical body and ego. 

She makes you feel the pain she feels in herself, which she chooses to ignore. You feel this pain simply because you've given up control, literally to her, and to your lower self at the same time. 

You made yourself vulnerable by being honest and open, something that is necessary for a relationship. I'm guessing this is one of her greatest fears and chooses to stay closed and guarded to avoid being hurt. She might've used this to her advantage without reciprocating. 

She knows you may have been "right" in the end but she can't accept this so her solution is to "make you" feel like this. 

Truth is, you have the ability to control how you feel and she has no power over you. It's a good thing she's your ex, you know what to avoid in the future. But you can also use this experience to grow and to learn more about feelings you may be covering up. 

[smd]

16 hours ago, Will said:

So my ex is very critical of me and my actions and has never once told me about how she feels and what she is working on..

Why is it that I take this on and work at it  and feel like crap 

while she gets to live high and mighty, because I agree with her and decide to eat humble pie..

its seems like me being open and infallible made her some god like figure..

What gives??

First off, why do you listen to your Ex?    Here's a few different strategies that I can think of:

1.  The Ralph Smart method would be to avoid your Ex because she is not your friend & she is criticizing you.  If you go along with what she says, then you have given your power away.  You're the only one that can give your power to someone else.  Smart would tell you to drop her and all people who do not serve you and stick with your friends & people that you trust.  He just did a video on this yesterday.

2.  The David Deida method would be to make note of her criticisms, but then spin them in your mind..basically consider them..and come up with your own conclusion on whether you should take heed of those criticisms and apply change or to ignore them.  Basically, how you handle those criticisms is entirely up to you and she has no power over how you address them or not address them at all.  If she was your gf, instead of your Ex, I'd have a different Deida method to give you to handle criticisms.

3.  Doc Love would tell you to throw your Ex's number away and never speak with her again about anything.  If you see her in public, you can always smile and wave and make very little small talk to be kind, but ultimately it's to keep away from them. Forever. "She's out." Doc likes to say.

4.  Change the subject.  She starts going on about you just say, "I'm getting a big head from all of this attention I'm getting all the time. It's all about me! Me! Me!  All the time.  Can we talk about something else?"