lost all the hopes to live

[milii]

after having a toxic relationship and ruining my career due to my mental health the only thing i care about is past what i used to be i do not know how to overcome these thoughts my past had some good and some worst memories the thing affected me the most is being left by the loved ones people call me foolish and laugh at me often when i tell anyone about what i am experiencing now a days its not funny at all i am in a worst nightmare a never ending roller coaster ride...

[Truth Addict]

It will pass.

And you will come out even stronger.

Hold on there, with great suffering comes great growth.

I've come back from multiple worse situations. You will come back too. You just need some time to rest and thing will sort themselves out for you. Don't worry a bit, your mind is exaggerating the troubles, it's making them seem bigger than what they actually are.

Hold on there, give yourself time to heal.

And it will pass.

It will pass.

❤️

Edited September 25, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Superfluo]

Sometimes toxic relationships happen because there is a trauma deep down that makes you fall in toxic patterns without you even being conscious of it. IMO most of people toxic pattern are related to some traumas. I've spent quite a time dealing with traumas, letting them emerge and accepting them. I too lost some years ago my will to do anything, I had very dark thoughts, I was depressed. So maybe I can give you some tools.

It's really a nightmare, I honor your situation.

I don't know you, but I'm sure you're determined to exit this situation.

And what I'm going to suggest you is counter-intuitive. It's an inner child work + bottom up approach.

You have to run into your tornado of emotions. You have to face head on your feelings of fear, shame, hate, loneliness. Why? Because every negative feeling is a cry for help from a part of you. Every time you suffer, it's because your inner child, your younger version of yourself, that wants to be loved, to be heard, to be accepted. Your feelings are not "bad". They contain a message, a request to be processed, a need to be felt.

How to do this?

Set some time aside to do this. Sit in a quiet room. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply, and relax. Then think to a negative emotion that you remember having felt in the near past. Maybe yesterday you went to the mall and you was anxious, or maybe one week ago someone told you something that hurt you. I don't know. Choose a negative emotion that you remember. If you have a negative emotion right now, use that, it's better.

Now intentionally let it come up to the surface. Say to that emotion: "I'm here to listen to you, to feel you fully". What will happen is that physical sensations will arise, maybe in your gut, maybe in your heart, maybe in your pelvic area, maybe in your arms, etc. Your standard way of dealing with these "negative" sensations could be to negate them, to resist them physically, to denying them, or other methods. But you have to be brave enough to feel fully that emotion. This can result in strange sensations, but it's okay. It's your body that is healing itself, purifying itself. You could even start crying for no apparent reason, or feel fear.

When you have fully felt the emotion, ask your emotion: "When was the first time I felt you?". Your intuition should let you know the answer. Maybe you'll suddenly remember an episode from your childhood, maybe it will happen after a minute, maybe you'll receive only a sound, a smell, or a partial memory. Whatever arises, it's good, it is healing your body.

After you get the memory, or a part of it, re-experience the memory. This is critical. If the memory is too intense, watch the memory in third person, meaning you watch it as if you were a passenger, a stranger that witnessed what happened. Then, when the intensity drops, switch to first person perspective.

In first person perspective, re-experience again the original emotion, the root trauma. The message that you should give to that deep emotion is "I'm here to listen to you, I'm here to love and accept you". After you processed the emotion, when you feel ready, let an entity enter the memory. This entity is someone who's going to take care of you (your younger version, or inner child) inside the memory. This entity can be you (your adult version), but you'll need to have certain emotional intelligence skills to do comfort your inner child, so if you think you can't do it, let appear an angel, or Jesus Christ, or a unconditionally loving figure, real or imaginary. This figure will assist your younger version and will love him/her in a infinitely loving way.

After your inner child is safe and loved, ask him if how he is feeling. If he processed the trauma, you're ready for the next step.

Ask your inner child if he's willing to "merge" with you. If not, remain a little longer with him and the entity. When ready, you'll merge physically with your inner child, like he/she is entering your body. If everything went well, you should a enormous relief. If not, maybe you have not processed fully the trauma.

If you want more details, check The Completion Process by Teal Swan (she made a video on it too i think)

[remember]

@milii a career can be reestablished and if the relationship was toxic there are probably high chances that the next one is better. it`s like a wound that`s fresh and of course it is bleeding and hurtfull in the beginning. so you need to stitch yourself together and let it heal. take some time off if you can, spend some time somewhere else if you can, go into nature if you can, watch some sunsets and then some sunrises. cry the tears you need to cry and then pull yourself out again, no one will laugh about you anymore, if they really even do.

[milii]

@remember thanks dear 

 

[Applegarden]

On 2019.09.25. at 6:28 PM, milii said:

after having a toxic relationship and ruining my career due to my mental health the only thing i care about is past what i used to be i do not know how to overcome these thoughts my past had some good and some worst memories the thing affected me the most is being left by the loved ones people call me foolish and laugh at me often when i tell anyone about what i am experiencing now a days its not funny at all i am in a worst nightmare a never ending roller coaster ride...

You know, what a GREAT oppurtunity to start/keep self-actualizing, i would look what you have left and see if that is not enough and why, i can share my bullying experience and how i tought i will live in hell because of that, but in all actuality i lost nothing. People still laugh at me and criticize me indirectly where i live so i can hear, all kinds of nasty things even indirect threats, (hey lets go and abuse him, punch him or whatnot), and criticizing me for EVERYTHING they can find, how i look, what i do, what i dont do, what i should do, they discuss even what i am talking to phone with other people. You know what i did, i was ferociously looking for solution and see what i have left, in the end i can say now still being in the same enviroment, same bullies, i have lost nothing and i dont feel like losing much even if they wipe my identity out every day when im there. All i did was self-inquiry, working with my fears and coming to an all-in mindset (contemplating my own death, and whats really meaningful(far powerful than anything else i did)), now i even wake up and feel like that entire time nothing at all has happened, i would say, wait for torado to go away, start looking what you have right away and even in the moment.

[Nickyy]

@milii What was your career? What happened? 

[milii]

@Nickyy  i got dropped from the university twice and somhow i completed my studies an got a very good job but due to my mental health i got fired

 

[Nickyy]

@milii Thank you. Can you be more specific? Employers can't just fire you unless they have a good reason. We're you still in your probation period?  (First three months)

[LeoX8]

@milii I understand you fully. It's so fucking hard, everything doesn't make any sense.

But ask you this question and think deeply about the answer:

"What is preventing me from creating that kind of happiness, passion and fun in my life?"

[milii]

@Nickyy because i was not paying proper attention during work like i should i used to be present in office just physcally but my mind was always at his thoughts