Guilt about parents paying University.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

Hi . 

I started university few days ago. 

A strong feeling of guilt is pervading me in these days because of the costs that my parents have to pay. 

I study in an other city so I have to take a fast train ,it takes 1 and half hour to reach the uni. 

I feel guilty because I do not think I'm going to do something about my studies  and my parents have to pay all that Mooney . I do it for personal culture and also to build good discipline habits. 

I'm very close to what sadhgurus teaches . He says that education  is not about job or other things . It is more a spiritual sadhana . Trying to remain focus with what you are doing without thinking what you will get out of it .

I do not think I'm going to explain this concept to my parents. They would not understand it. 

So I do not know if i shoiuld purchase the studies or not . My mother has to do some sacrifices to pay her ammount .

My father said that the Mooney is not a problem. I know that but I feel that if I'm not going to do anything  witht my degree it would not be respectful for my parents . 

What do you think ? 

 

 

[Jordan94]

So you're not gonna follow the study and graduate basically ? If so why didn't you talk about it with them before hand so you get a different path/not geting into that university ?

But more importantly for now, is there an options about changing your scolarship or path for yourself where what your parents pay for could be more aligned with your future career/job plan

 

Besides that, I don't think you should be overly guilty, every parent will pay a ton of money all aded to raise their children, but they chose it and I would doubt that if asked any parent would regret it and say they would rather have get all the money but not the kid, so you're worth it

And for paying the university in particular, I guess what they want is to see you succeed and happy, so if you do so even following a path/career/whatever where this university would have been useless, I guess that's probably still fine for them

And for your mother in particuler if you feel bad for her, could you help the situation in some way ? like maybe do some part time job sacrificing your time instead of hers ? or helping her in an other way ? or just making it up to her in some other way ?

Edited September 25, 2019 by Jordan94

[LastThursday]

@Giulio Bevilacqua pay your parents back AFTER university if necessary. Three or four years is not a long time. Make university a joy not a burden.

[CreamCat]

You're scared of your parents' financial love. Don't run away from love.

That said, if you are just trying to build discipline through education, university is a big waste of money.

You could just practice deep work at home or do solo retreats.

If I were you, I would quit university and focus on deep work or solo retreats.

Edited September 25, 2019 by CreamCat

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

1 hour ago, LastThursday said:

@Giulio Bevilacqua pay your parents back AFTER university if necessary. Three or four years is not a long time. Make university a joy not a burden.

Unfortunately the main problem is the train that costs 300 € evry month 

[Marah]

@Giulio Bevilacqua Isn't it possible to move to that town, find some cheap accomodation or live in a student dorm?

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

51 minutes ago, Marah said:

@Giulio Bevilacqua Isn't it possible to move to that town, find some cheap accomodation or live in a student dorm?

I have some other activities where i live . I have a kind of professional band that I can not leave at the moment.

But that would be a good idea 

[Marah]

Do you have classes from Monday to Friday? Is attendance mandatory to all the classes? If not, you could skip a day or two(and read at home) to save some money, but this also depends on how interested you are in the field you're studying.

As far as guilt is concerned, if your parents want to help you financially, you didn't ask/manipulate them, you should accept their gift; after all, you are their child. Then you can work during holidays to earn some money in case you want to contribute to the budget.

[Truth Addict]

"Don't feel guilty. Release that guilt, and then go do the right thing anyways." -- Leo Gura

[mandyjw]

Follow what your heart says. If you know you will waste their investment don't go. If you do go commit to make the absolute most out of it. 

[LastThursday]

On 25/09/2019 at 1:36 PM, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Unfortunately the main problem is the train that costs 300 € evry month 

Move to a place half way between the two?

Anyway, 9000 euros over three years for travel seems like a lot. But you could probably get 20,000 euros per year in your first job. If you lived with your parents then, you could easily pay them back in a year or two.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

Yes . The guilt is beacause i do noy think im going to do something with it . Maybe combining it with my practices like Tai Chi and Yoga . 

There i study Antropology Religion and eastern Civilizations 

Edited September 26, 2019 by Giulio Bevilacqua
Error

[Marah]

3 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

Yes . The guilt is beacause i do noy think im going to do something with it . Maybe combining it with my practices like Tai Chi and Yoga . 

There i study Antropology Religion and eastern Civilizations 

Funny thing, I also studied Anthropology. Job wise it did not help me( maybe indirectly), but in terms of culture, personal growth, understanding society, people, myself, developing critical thinking, it was the best choice. Plus you can get into contact with atypical and open-minded people, travel with Erasmus and do fieldwork.

It's great that you have yoga and Tai Chi, especially in this time of change and doubt. Your classes have just started and it is too early to draw a conclusion.You are free to change your mind if the choice ceases to satisfy your needs. 

 

Edited September 26, 2019 by Marah

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

15 hours ago, Marah said:

Funny thing, I also studied Anthropology. Job wise it did not help me( maybe indirectly), but in terms of culture, personal growth, understanding society, people, myself, developing critical thinking, it was the best choice. Plus you can get into contact with atypical and open-minded people, travel with Erasmus and do fieldwork.

It's great that you have yoga and Tai Chi, especially in this time of change and doubt. Your classes have just started and it is too early to draw a conclusion.You are free to change your mind if the choice ceases to satisfy your needs. 

 

Nice :)))