stuck in the past and cannot over come my ex and his memories

[milii]

hi 

my story is that i have been in a relationship or past two years that was the best time of my life i had put my best into this even i ruined my career got dropped from the university twice just to give him proper time and attention but he cheated on me with his childhood freind i feel like i lost everything i even asked him to leave her and come back to me but he denied and left me by saying that you are a careless girl you cannot handle me and w are not compatable anymore i am totally lost i have lost my sleep i am facing a deep depression my freinds and family adviced me to get busy somewhere so that i can divert my mind so i found i job and start working but his memories and all the time we had spend was running in my mind i could not focus on my ob and got fired within two weeks now i know i have no future no career he is gone but i am still in a hope that one day he will be back to me he is still in contact with me he told me about his new girl her problems her hobbies and all stuff about her i feel hell jealous and pretend to be okay but i am not... i had given everything that i owned even my selfrespect that was more than anything to me i have lost it its been two days i have not slept his face is running in my mind continouesly i shared this to him instead of understandig me he scolded me by saying " get lost you mad woman DO NOT EXPECT FROM ME" i am being mentally tortured by him i cannot get over him i am so much addicted that i have left everything and just waiting for his text 

all i know i want myself back i want to have a sucessful career i want to let him go i miss my old self the most optimistic and aimbitiuos girl i  used to be i want the same i just want to get away from this curse in the face of love

[kira]

funny enough i think we both came to this place after a break up .. i remember being on your place, oh gosh is comfrotenting..

sadly enough.. you wont get the answer that you were hoping for.. the quick fix.. no here.. but if you stick around and do your part. you will get mutch more than that ..

[milii]

@kira i am trying my best but something is still missing i just want to forget him he way he did..

 

[Truth Addict]

• Dedicate one week for your resolution.
• Be silent.
• Absorb the thoughts and emotions. Don't fight or resist them.
• Cry if need be.
• Journal about your thoughts if need be.
• Accept the fact that you have no more chance with him.
• Open your mind to other future opportunities and relationships.
• Know that you are not the first one to be dumped, nor the last. It's quite normal, and actually very common.
• Try to always stay calm no matter what during the week you dedicated, and always bring back your awareness to the 'now'. 'Feel the body' is my favourite approach.
• Breathe consciously from your stomach and feel the emotions, they're probably in your stomach.
• To finally completely let go, a part of you has to die. Remind yourself that the price of freedom/new you is the destruction/death of the chains/old you. And remind yourself that it's worth it.

And most importantly, take me as your new boyfriend. Hahaha.. Laugh! Why aren't you laughing?! 

Try to see the silliness of seriousness, clinging, and attachment.

(that's what worked for me).

Edited September 25, 2019 by Truth Addict

[milii]

@Truth Addict thankyou for the advice buddy i will follow these....  

and yes i am tired of being in a relationship so i am done hhahahahha

 

 

[LaucherJunge]

@milii I can totally feel you with this, was in a similar situation 9 months ago, for me it took over half a year to really get over it and honestly I am just beginning to get back to my heights from before that relationship, maybe I will be there in a few months, I know how shitty it is to be in the place that you are and it's probably not too comforting if someone tells you just let the time heal the wounds, because you are in pain right now, but that's sadly how this works, the best thing you can do is speeding up the process by grieving properly, doing inner work and maybe trying to get back some positivity into your life in healthy doses.
The good news is we live in a cyclical universe which means that you are going to reach new even greater heights then you had before and yes they might get taken away again, only so that you get the motivation needed to go even beyond that.

Edited September 25, 2019 by LaucherJunge

[kira]

@milii  i get that. but sadly enough the only way to get over the pain, is by feeling it... dont fight..dont resist it... let all the pain in..fill it at all..maditate. do yoga, disconect from distractions… and sooner rather than later...

 

[Ananta]

On 9/25/2019 at 5:22 AM, milii said:

all i know i want myself back i want to have a sucessful career i want to let him go i miss my old self the most optimistic and aimbitiuos girl i  used to be i want the same i just want to get away from this curse in the face of love

You must let him go, completely. Go no-contact with him. Block him on all social media, phone. Etc. 

In time, you'll get over this, meet new guys, date and be happier. Hes a cheater anyways. You dont need that!

[milii]

@Anna1 i have blocked him many times but he knows well how to make me soft he text me when  he has nothing to do or hr new girl is not avalible and he is feeling horny i know i am just getting used by him whatever his intention is i was and i am loyal with  him he knows how to make me fool by kind words he do this everytime i dont know why i belive in him still

[Truth Addict]

2 hours ago, milii said:

@Anna1 i have blocked him many times but he knows well how to make me soft he text me when  he has nothing to do or hr new girl is not avalible and he is feeling horny i know i am just getting used by him whatever his intention is i was and i am loyal with  him he knows how to make me fool by kind words he do this everytime i dont know why i belive in him still

This suggestion might seem silly, but please bare with me.

Think of your problem as a 'fish in the water' problem. You are so deep in your story that you aren't able to see what's outside of it. Think of it as the 'romantic paradigm'. Think of it as just a perspective and then try to imagine what there could be outside of it. What could be the case if your ex never existed? What could happen if you stopped replying to him? What could happen if you could let it go and start looking for something better? What could happen if you told your ex that he's a jerk and that you don't need him at all?

Think deeply about this suggestion, some great things you might find by ridiculing the story. That should make it easier for you to detach and then eventually let go.

[Ananta]

13 hours ago, milii said:

@Anna1 i have blocked him many times but he knows well how to make me soft he text me when  he has nothing to do or hr new girl is not avalible and he is feeling horny i know i am just getting used by him whatever his intention is i was and i am loyal with  him he knows how to make me fool by kind words he do this everytime i dont know why i belive in him still

I know it's hard, but you are torturing yourself. If you've blocked him he shouldn't be able to text you. No contact means ...none.

Your torn, because you think if you wait long enough he will appreciate you and come running back proclaiming his love for only you and that he made a mistake by leaving you.

Most likely, this wont happen.

[milii]

he calims that he loves me and that other girl as ways somehow he actually wanna say that stay with me and i wont let my new girl go he says he love her too as he did to me he want both she and i but how could i live with with a shared man i mean i want him to be just mine and e is not convincd into leaving both or any of two

[pluto]

Relationships are to make us conscious not happy, the key is not to get attached. 99.999999% of us fail and get attached but what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and wiser. Let go and let grow!

You'd be surprised, who you thought was your perfect partner was only blinding you to see and meet someone even more amazing and more in tune with your new state of being.

If you are holding onto someone who no longer serves you or something from the past, all those who are looking for you in the present, will never find you and you will never find them because you won't notice much if you are not in the present.

My last relationship almost destroyed me completely. I was from being Enlightened to a mental and emotional wreck all over again.

I chose freedom, i chose truth, i chose love. No being in the universe is worth more than your inner peace.

You always come first.

 

[Ananta]

@milii Girl,  that just sucks, really! I'm sorry. When you've had enough of it,  you'll move on. Until then, unfortunately, you'll suffer.

Edited September 29, 2019 by Anna1