Being Afraid Of Loneliness When Pursuing My Life Purpose.

[Coco]

I've recently started the life purpose course, but I've been following Leo's Youtube videos for almost two years now. I figured that I needed to take action on my life rather than just keep receiving 'aha' moments. Anyways, recently I'm really starting to see the world a lot differently and seeing things from many different perspectives (gray areas) and not just black and white. But as I keep pursuing this path, I notice that most people I talk to are not interested in what I have to say... at all. I mean sometimes I will be talking about one view of a topic, and then I'll start talking about another view and then it kind of becomes a debate with myself. Majority will agree and listen at the start but as the perspective changes, they will kind of switch off and look very bored or confused. This same thing happens when I talk about my concerns with worldly issues, at first people will seem interested but they switch off really quickly or start talking about something else or just end the conversation with 'but there's nothing we can do'.

The thing is, I really enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts of the world and what contribution I want to make but it has become almost impossible to do with the majority of people I talk to. This includes my classmates, my workmates, my friends and even my partner. I have read from other posts on this forum that once you start pursuing your life purpose or enlightenment that people around you will try to hold you back, or keep you as you are. I have noticed this change dramatically and I find that it's very hard to break-through that, which is why it is so hard for me to take action on what I want to do. I guess in a way I'm afraid of being alone and afraid that I will have to face a great deal of isolation to aim for my life purpose. 

Does anyone have any advice as to how to make this transition easier? Or do I have to just do it with brute force?

[MIARIVEL]

@Coco Hi Coco,

I 110% know how you feel. When I started the journey of persuing my business, I gave my social life. I only went out socially, maybe once a month if I was lucky to get time off. When you are on a mission to fulfil your purpose and chase after your dream it can be a lonley path but even a phone call with friends keeps my sanity if I can see them or go out and do fun things. 

Also depends how badly you want the life you dream of, if you are willing to work hard, never stop learning and being persistent with putting your plans into action. One of the things I love to do is attend seminars and go to networking events, where I meet a lot of like minded people. People who are on a similar journey to me or have the same values and beliefs as me. The reward at the end of your hard work does pay off and sometimes when it feels like you are getting no where, stop and think of the person you are becoming in the process, it is something to proud of and something not everyone recognises or achieves throughout their life. 

Find other like minded people like you, join groups and social networks of your interests and get involved and you will start being around and connecting with people; and after a while it won't seem so lonley. 

[Falk]

@Coco  hey there  

First of all i think it is great you can notice your progress, from relative "unawareness" to "aha-moments" to taking more real action, also from black/white view to seeing grey-areas ...next stop ..colors  

Anyways, if you like talking about these topics, why not create value out of the topics + the fact you like talking about them and just make a video about those topics, it will be a new experience for you and you are independent from others reactions.  

I don´t know you so i can´t tell you why people dont respond well to your topics... I am also interessted in these topics but i never force them on anyone, in fact i mainly like the "taking action/self-work" part of self actualization more than the "communicating about" part of it , even thou that one can be fun too.

I had a talk about realy practical self-actualization with a friend of mine just the other day ...

After talking about his current situation i thought ...wow i can realy easy help you, you will get out of this in 6month ...I tried to convince that friend, with whom i normaly only have bs entertainment-joke talks about nothing , that he has to change because he is wasting his life, which is my true opinion, he should stop smoking week, stop playing games, work on his attitude, work on his health , stop complaining about "the government" take responsibility etc...the classical basics i would call them ...and he reacted REALY BAD!!  to say the least, he completely shut down the conversation, almost insulted me etc... well i guess forcing the self-actualization thing on people is just not working ...THEY have to want it themselves... i guess ... 

cheers  

[charlie2dogs]

On 5/19/2016 at 0:59 AM, Coco said:

I've recently started the life purpose course, but I've been following Leo's Youtube videos for almost two years now. I figured that I needed to take action on my life rather than just keep receiving 'aha' moments. Anyways, recently I'm really starting to see the world a lot differently and seeing things from many different perspectives (gray areas) and not just black and white. But as I keep pursuing this path, I notice that most people I talk to are not interested in what I have to say... at all. I mean sometimes I will be talking about one view of a topic, and then I'll start talking about another view and then it kind of becomes a debate with myself. Majority will agree and listen at the start but as the perspective changes, they will kind of switch off and look very bored or confused. This same thing happens when I talk about my concerns with worldly issues, at first people will seem interested but they switch off really quickly or start talking about something else or just end the conversation with 'but there's nothing we can do'.

The thing is, I really enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts of the world and what contribution I want to make but it has become almost impossible to do with the majority of people I talk to. This includes my classmates, my workmates, my friends and even my partner. I have read from other posts on this forum that once you start pursuing your life purpose or enlightenment that people around you will try to hold you back, or keep you as you are. I have noticed this change dramatically and I find that it's very hard to break-through that, which is why it is so hard for me to take action on what I want to do. I guess in a way I'm afraid of being alone and afraid that I will have to face a great deal of isolation to aim for my life purpose. 

Does anyone have any advice as to how to make this transition easier? Or do I have to just do it with brute force?

Birds of a feather flock together.  I have lived this aloneness all my life, when you don't follow the crowd in life you may sense that you are alone as you awaken,and because you are awakening it doesnt mean that everything around you is awakening with you, it isn't.  Consider the feeling a good thing, and know that once awakened you are connected to everything in a way that really counts.  As you awaken you will see those around you in a more clear way, fully self realized you will know them better than they know themselves.  That feeling of being alone is just a thought, how can you be alone when in your realness you are the creative source of life.

[Mal]

@charlie2dogs

Hi Charlie, 

It seems to me that you indeed have a great passion to reveal the truth.

Do you have a blog or have you written a book where I can access the full spectrum of your insight?  If you have not already created such a thing I'd like you to consider producing an account of your method and put it out in our world.  I believe a book, even in pdf format would be a very effective way in which to pass on what you appear to feel is much needed knowledge for those who are desperately seeking salvation. 

I am personally interested in finding out more about your proposed solution.

Warm Regards

Mal

[Yukise99]

What actually helped me get over the fear of loneliness when pursuing my life purpose was actually losing pretty much most of my friends. Sometimes these things just happens, and you need to move on with what you think is best with your life and mope a bit about the lost friends. 

[FindingPeace]

On 19/05/2016 at 5:59 AM, Coco said:

The thing is, I really enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts of the world and what contribution I want to make but it has become almost impossible to do with the majority of people I talk to.

I've felt like this for most of my life. After 30 odd years I've yet to find anyone that I have been able to express and share my ideas and world veiws with, other than here on this forum. And it did feel lonely. I've actually always felt a compulsive need to share my ideas with others. But I've recently done a great deal of introspection on this issue to get to the root of it. Why do I need to express and discuss my ideas with other people? Why do I need their recognition? What happens if I don't do it or get it?

I realised that there was this feeling inside that unless I express my thoughts and ideas that they are not valid. It is almost as if I don't exist unless I can impose myself on to the external world and become regonised. Why have thoughts and ideas if I can't share them? Who am I if I'm not noticed?

The realisation I had was that my life doesn't stop just because other people don't notice, recognise or validate my thoughts, ideas and philiosophies. In fact it's of no real consequence to my own life whether people do or  not. The point is that my ideas are my own, and I am my own person. I don't need validation for it, and I don't need to impose it on the world or other people. I can carry on and live out my life in my own way, with my own values and ideas. So what if noone is interested? So what if I take all my ideas to my grave and they never see the light of day?

The solution is to become less fixated or interested in other people and what they do or don't think about your thoughts and ideas. Be more interested in yourself and how these thoughts and ideas can be of use to you personally. Build your own life in your own way. Nothing needs to be proven to anyone else, or recognised or validated by them. Recognise and value your own thoughts yourself.

On 19/05/2016 at 5:59 AM, Coco said:

I have read from other posts on this forum that once you start pursuing your life purpose or enlightenment that people around you will try to hold you back, or keep you as you are. I have noticed this change dramatically and I find that it's very hard to break-through that, which is why it is so hard for me to take action on what I want to do. I guess in a way I'm afraid of being alone and afraid that I will have to face a great deal of isolation to aim for my life purpose.

Yes this happens. As you out-grow the rest of the 'herd' a natural distance will grow between you and them. Those people who are still in the herd will try to hold you back because they won't understand what you are doing. They will think it 'weird'. People are afraid of what they don't understand, they will ridicule and criticise it, judge it, in order to invalidate it and therefore validate their own paths. It is easier for people to criticse those who are growing in life simply because it takes more effort and foresight to grow than not to grow. So people who don't want to make that effort will validate their current trajectories but invalidating or ignoring yours. Their lack of interest is actually more about them than it is about you.

On the flip side, there may be people who will see your growth and become inspired by it. They will make themselves known to you and want in on your secret. They are the ones who you will be able to relate to. They're not so common, but they are out there. This forum is a great place if you want to share your thoughts and ideas because we're all here for the same reasons of personal growth.

So as you grow there will be a natural distance between you and the 'others'. They may no longer be able to associate or relate to you, and they will continue to impose their less-developed mindsets on to you. So an element of detachment is necessary to stay on track with your own growth. At best, you can learn to be accepting of the other people, accept them for what and who they are and that they won't engage so closely with you and your growth, ideas, direction etc. So be it. You'll have to learn to be ok with this.

Loneliness is not a real 'thing'. It is a state of mind. You feel lonely mainly because you are focussing too much on other people and not enough on yourself. You should be too busy creating your fulfilling life for yourself to have time to feel lonely. You're not completely comfortable with your own company. Why is this? Introspect. Not being a part of the crowd doesn't make you lonely. There is an emptiness or a neediness that needs to be addressed. It ultimately comes down to not taking enough responsibility for your own life. Not owning your life. Not focussing inwards and building your own personal life for yourself. That's not to say that you should be a hermit. But simply that you should be comfortable on your own, doing your own thing when you are not engaging with other people. Other people will come and go from your life, but you will always be you and in your own company. You are the only person in your life that you can rely on to always be there and be interested in your thoughts and ideas. It is your life, you are at the centre of it.

[charlie2dogs]

21 hours ago, Mal said:

@charlie2dogs

Hi Charlie, 

It seems to me that you indeed have a great passion to reveal the truth.

Do you have a blog or have you written a book where I can access the full spectrum of your insight?  If you have not already created such a thing I'd like you to consider producing an account of your method and put it out in our world.  I believe a book, even in pdf format would be a very effective way in which to pass on what you appear to feel is much needed knowledge for those who are desperately seeking salvation. 

I am personally interested in finding out more about your proposed solution.

Warm Regards

Mal

Hi Mal, the only solution for the ills of this world is the evolution of human consciousness.  That means awakening from the dream created by the consciousness that is possessing the identity body and begin to see, experience, and function as the true being that we are.  We existed before the body, and will exist after it,  the question is will it be in a liberated state of being, or a state of being that has not evolved to be able to liberate itself from the dream of the identity body with its programing, false beliefs and desires of the human identity.

 

[Coco]

Wow, I didn't expect to get so many helpful responses.

Thank you all so much for your insights!!

@MIA.RIVEL I really want to meet others who are on the same journey but I really don't know where to start. Most people I know are not very aware of the larger perspectives of life, and spending time with them actually drains my energy. I have already joined online communities and social media groups with similar interests and values, but I'd like to also meet people like this in person as well. Where would be the best place to look for seminars and networking events? 
 

@Falk You have just made me realise something very important. I was trying so hard to 'communicate' it because I was feeling lonely and wanted people to connect to what I thought was 'more' important instead of actually doing the work myself. My focus was on why others couldn't understand instead of doing the work myself, and I think Leo talked about this before in one of his videos and called it an Ego Trap. I had completely forgotten about that until I read what your response. I think I need to work on moving my focus towards the act of improving myself rather than trying to convince others. And I can really relate to your situation about your friend, the same thing kind of happened with my boyfriend and afterwards I felt as if he was trying to hold me back. And I'm very interested in what you mean by 'colours', could you please expand on that for me?

@charlie2dogs Thank you for your wisdom, I'll keep in mind that loneliness is just a thought.

 

@FindingPeace I really enjoyed reading your advice. It was very hard for me to admit to myself that I was looking for validation in others, but what you said is very true and I cannot deny that I was seeking approval from others. And without validation and approval, I felt lonely. The thing is, I've started to enjoy time alone much more than time with others but maybe because I use to be very extroverted and was always surrounded by friends, that it was hard for me to admit it. I think I really need to stop focusing on the 'herd' and instead just accept them how they are. I've realised I was focusing too hard on changing others rather than myself. I think I really need to work on firstly detaching myself from the 'herd' and working on myself before I can share my views.

[JustinS]

@Coco Now that you have started the awakening process, you have now taken the responsibility to bring consciousness on Earth. This may be quite a big responsibility and yes you may feel alone even when you are surrounded by familiar friends and family. Remember there are millions of others just like you out on similar paths. It may be difficult to find others around your area as the next stage of human psychological evolution has barely just begun. You are one of the few and the chosen.

You are a light warrior born with a duty to heal and change the world for the better. Step up to it and own it. 

Some day, when you will be lying on your death bed, you will not regret a thing as you know that you have listened to your heart and that you did the best you could to bring heaven onto Earth. 

 

Visualizations helps greatly, just be aware of ego being attached:

Edited June 12, 2016 by JustinS
photos

[MIARIVEL]

@Coco HI Coco, have you got Meetup.com in your area? maybe check it out and sign up to a few groups you are interested in and that would be a great start to meeting like minded people. 

 

[Andre]

@MIA.RIVEL

13 hours ago, MIA.RIVEL said:

@Coco HI Coco, have you got Meetup.com in your area? maybe check it out and sign up to a few groups you are interested in and that would be a great start to meeting like minded people. 

 

Wow Mia Thank you so much! you just saved my day. I was having so much trouble finding like minded people(I have outgrown my old friends) and now I have found a ton of them.