Emotional mastery?

[NoSelfSelf]

Is emotional mastery ability to change states on command,when unwanted emotions come that dont serve your goals you can supress them and keep state?Or its something else,or you have things to add...

[okulele]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

supress

I think it's more like 'transform'.

[Truth Addict]

Think about your peak performance. That's emotional mastery.

[Bill W]

1 hour ago, Truth Addict said:

Think about your peak performance. That's emotional mastery.

I'd be careful with that analogy. Some people reach "peak performance" at the expense of emotional mastery and not because of it. For example, people can high perform in their career and be dependent on substances to achieve this. Substances to self medicate their emotional turmoil once work finishes. Even striving for peak performance can compromise emotional mastery if you are obsessive and compulsive. 

My idea of emotional mastery is when you can consistently transcend the animal instinct to the benefit of yourself, others and the situation. To be able to resist impulse. To be able to resist instant gratification for longer term gains. To lose arguments and fights you don't really need to win. You control your emotions more than they control you. You park your emotions and feelings for the greater good. 

Emotional mastery to me is humility without being overly passive or submissive. It's courage without being reckless. It's honesty without using honesty to harm an another. 

Yeh you could say peak performance to a degree, but a peak performance which is more than performance if that makes sense. You don't even care too much for performance. You have transcended performance. 

[DrewNows]

emotional mastery, like any other skill mastery, is self defining. What's true for you is true for you but may not be true for or believed by everyone else. Someone may consider being fearless as having emotional mastery, while others see it as simply detached and using avoidance. But yeah, i like to think of emotional mastery as emotional freedom, having the ability to experience all emotions on the spectrum (as a state of flow) without holding on to or able to let go of the beliefs that go with em, and knowing one has the ability to choose to experience them 

Edited September 24, 2019 by DrewNows

[Truth Addict]

@Bill W

Yes. That's what I meant but I didn't want to write all that 

I also meant that emotional mastery is how someone feels at their peak performance. And that it's not temporary but permanent. That's the difference between that and the ordinary 'peak performance'.

Just wanted to make it come down from being an impossible goal to make it at least seem possible.

Edited September 24, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Commodent]

23 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Is emotional mastery ability to change states on command

It's more about knowing how to handle whatever emotion might arise. Being comfortable with them and not trying to run away.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Commodent Yeah thats a good way to put it...

Good examples its not that simple to define...

[tsuki]

On 24.09.2019 at 1:01 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

Is emotional mastery ability to change states on command,when unwanted emotions come that dont serve your goals you can supress them and keep state?Or its something else,or you have things to add...

@NoSelfSelf For me, emotional mastery is about having emotions as a sense (like sight) and incorporating the information they provide into behavior deliberately. The "mastery" part is about being skillful in it to the point where it becomes second (or even first) nature.

It is not necessarily about suppression, although knowing how to disregard some feelings can be of great value because it is very counter-intuitive.

[Aeris]

17 hours ago, Bill W said:

I'd be careful with that analogy. Some people reach "peak performance" at the expense of emotional mastery and not because of it. For example, people can high perform in their career and be dependent on substances to achieve this. Substances to self medicate their emotional turmoil once work finishes. Even striving for peak performance can compromise emotional mastery if you are obsessive and compulsive. 

My idea of emotional mastery is when you can consistently transcend the animal instinct to the benefit of yourself, others and the situation. To be able to resist impulse. To be able to resist instant gratification for longer term gains. To lose arguments and fights you don't really need to win. You control your emotions more than they control you. You park your emotions and feelings for the greater good. 

Emotional mastery to me is humility without being overly passive or submissive. It's courage without being reckless. It's honesty without using honesty to harm an another. 

Yeh you could say peak performance to a degree, but a peak performance which is more than performance if that makes sense. You don't even care too much for performance. You have transcended performance. 

good insight, I need to work out on this myself.

[bakuri batsashi]

no. it's a state when you experience every emotion, but you don't react based on those emotions,
Emotional intelligence is when you can >easily< choose not to react based on the emotions you experience:)

this is gained through practicing mindfulness

 

[universe]

Interesting question.

To me it would be something like recognizing and feeling your feelings in your body. Because in some cases we might not even be aware of or acknowledge our emotions. Learn to feel them fully. Understand why they are there. And then learn to let them go.

For example you might be home alone and hear the sound of your front door open, you get scared. You dont repress that fear, instead you feel it and understand that you feel unsafe because there might be someone in your home. Let the fear go. If you encounter someone in your home you wont be surprised now.

Or you see a girl you like and you want to approach her. You get scared. You dont repress that fear, you feel into it and see that you are afraid you wont get any validation from her. You accept that and let the fear go. Now you go and talk to her. Maybe she rejects you or you spend a good time together.

Some people dont understand what their emotions are telling them. Mostly because they dont listen to them.

Even more people try to suppress their emotions, which makes them become stronger. When an emotion is very strong it can overwhelm you.

Strong emotions that build up over time or that might be linked to previously felt emotions you havent dealt with yet need to be felt longer which requires time and focus.

Emotional mastery has 2 effects. First, emotions wont build up because you are open and willing to feel them as soon as they arise. Second, emotions will flow through you quickly because you learn how to accept and understand them.

You will see in the beginning it might be hard to work on your emotions. And it might take you several months to fully feel an emotion that has build up over time. When you have mastered your emotions you will notice that the speed changes and you can do it very quickly.

 

This is true inner growth.

[Aeris]

On 24/09/2019 at 1:01 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

Is emotional mastery ability to change states on command,when unwanted emotions come that dont serve your goals you can supress them and keep state?Or its something else,or you have things to add...

Exactly.

And this is exactly what I m currently working on.

People who say 'surrender to your thoughts and reality' are deeply hallucinated.

You can master all your réactions by deep reworking

 

[Eph75]

Here's my take on this, based on my personal experiences and relationship with the subject.

Emotions are directly connected to your ego; your way of being, your belief systems and paradigms and how firmly attached your are to these. The firmer attached you are the more emotionally triggered you will be. Understanding your emotional triggers and stakes is required. They determine how you will respond. 

It's easy to see that something that carry no mean at all won't trigger emotions in you. Such events are likely to pass you by without any particular thoughts; if you are conscious in that moment you would notice and let is pass, if you are less conscious it would pass you by without any notice. It would mean nothing.

See yourself as a guitar and you therefore have your a number of strings. If whatever happens flicks any of your strings, you resonate with the movement of the affected strings. Understanding the mechanics of what emotional impulses are and knowledge of your "strings" allows you to distance you from or remove some strings so that you don't resonate - or - resonate less with that "happening".

This is about understanding and managing your emotions, not controlling or suppressing them. Mastery is based on this understanding of emotions and self and the ability to not having them affect you in a substantial way.

Edited October 18, 2019 by Eph75

[skywords]

I Believe The Most Authentic Statements Made Begin W/
"I Feel"
Becuz We R Organic Beings In Mortal Bodies Made Aware By Sensations

For me, the moment I give myself over to thoughts and ideas, I abandon my humility and suddenly become self identified with "something greater than myself."

For me, every moment, every instant of awareness, every breath I take, presents me with a choice:

"Do I represent myself ~ to my own self &/or to others ~ as a tender/vulnerable/mortal/anxious body?  Or do I represent myself ~ to my own self &/or to others ~ as a monolithic/invulnerable/immortal/unassailable spirit?"

Even as I write, in this instant, I can see and feel that choice looming before me..

I can presume to insist that this choice that I am engaged in, as I type, right now, is The Human Experience ..

Or I can, in all tentativity, in all uncertainty and pure suspense, merely pose it, in tender supplication, as a most intimate cloud of sensations blowing through me ..

Nevertheless, I DO wish and find, that there is a Rock Of Gibraltar in the duality:  Mind/Head/Thought/Vision Vs Body/Heart/Feeling/Intuition.  And that there is that Immortal Certainty in that duality.

And yet, nevertheless, that very duality, is merely the finger pointing at Truth.  Like a lighthouse warning of a rocky shore.  It is but a guide post.  Because the real truth is this fleeting instant of pure feeling and sensation, my fingers over the key board, the exuberance in my heart, the looming forth of release and vastness and possibility, freedom coursing forth with breath rhythmically, gratefully, falling and lifting in my diaphragm..

For me Advaita, Nonduality, Enlightenment, Truth, Love, Deity, Ideal 

Is Pure

t ~ e ~ n ~ d ~ e ~ r ~ n ~ e ~ s ~ s

Mine

Yours

Ours

Life's

Awareness

Existence

Universe

Why, then, the duality?  Why then, the dichotomy between Head and Heart, between thought and feeling, between mastery and submission, between, good and bad, between, yes and no?

If all things are actually connected, why not merely express that infinite interconnectedness without separation?  Just ever express that exquisite, flowing, endless and ongoing seamlessness?

What IS that betweenness that separates?

What IS that "illusion"?

Is it REALLY an "illusion"?

Or is it actually just another truth, in drag?  Just another truth pretending to be other than truth?  Just another truth (not an illusion at all, not at all) inviting us to play, in lila, with our own fears, in order to laugh at them, in order to show that, surprise!, the snake was just a rope all along?

Or not?

Maybe enlightenment is both the play of release from our mortal coil AND confinement to it, both freedom and restraint, both infinite bliss and endless terror.

Both.

What then?

For me, the "what then?" is

?
i n f i n i t e
h e a r t ? w a r m
t ~ e ~ n ~ d ~ e ~ r ~ n ~ e ~ s ~ s

?

.. when I remember.  

Because I will forget.

With every breath I take in, and breathe out, is both Advaita and Vaita, both dual and nondual.  Both remembering, reintegrating, re-embracing, and forgetting, disintegrating, rejecting.  Lightening and darkening.  

Both  Avidyā and Vidya:

The Dance Tandavam or Nadanta

But, also, paralysis.

Such is the uncertainty, anxiety, and therefore, bliss and beauty of our tenderness. IMO.  In all humility.  (Or, at least, some, nominal, tentative, humility..)

 

And I believe, that for me, "enlightenment" is that profound humility that feels one's own heart, fully, entirely, in every moment, with all it's passion, both shock and serenity, both love and hate, both completely open and completely closed, both hot and cold, both warm and numb.  And to feel one's heart fully, entirely, without reservation, is utter humility, complete meditative surrender to the whole of existence, both one's own and others'.  And to cast one's glance, one's gaze, upon another, both in one's mind and in one's eyes, is to feel that other's heart beat, also, in the full spectrum of it's immense, vast, universal intensity and subtlety, pride and humiliation, guilt, shame and pride, love and bliss.

"Enlightenment" cannot be described in words because it is not bound by anything that can be thought.  Thought binds and creates boundaries.  For me, "enlightenment" is a very subtle, yet intensely exuberant TEMPERATURE.  It is a feeling of warmth.  It is a thermal image that permeates awareness.  We have very few words to describe the widest spectrum of warmth.  But it is this very warmth that we communicate.  It is the essence of communication itself.

My experience of Leo Gura is that he brings the spectrum of his heart's warmth into language.  My experience of Leo is the experience of his heart's warmth emanating with magnificent hues and pastels of wonder over a panoramic vastness.  It is a physical presence recorded in pixels and vibrations that resonates into the widest reaches of the heart's imagination: thermally.

Satori, for me, is that intense focus on both one's own, others' and another's heart beat.  And "enlightenment" is full spectrum satori on the Universe's Heart Beat.
 

 

 

Edited October 18, 2019 by skywords

[Aeris]

From my experience. I cannot be angry. Even when it happen. I become conscious that god directly guide all my nature and will. It's a game.

I m angry at the surface. Or is god angry through me ?

See for me all evil is a projection.

You should accept to be dead fully before death.

But if you get there that's up to you.

Living without ego will still be seen as egoic outside 'me'.

This is the proof of ego. A 'need' a désire to answer.

Just navigating is isness.

Even if my body/mind would destroy the earth that mean. It is still god will.

I believe you could be fully wake and still look very 'egoic'

This is a proof are you triggered ? :

Maybe Hitler was more wake than Leo gura.

whatever true or not. Think of it.

What's the difference ?

It's all ego will/nature.

But if you want to construct justice. Even this is possible.

Pure hate or pure love are point of view. Monkey construct made from the feared body.

And only someone that pass the ultimate surrender will understand.

Don't project on me my 'value identity'. I only side in being