Woman and Enlightenment

[Raptorsin7]

How have you guys found dating while on the path of self actualization and enlightenment. Are there many beautiful girls that are emotionally mature enough to be worth dating while pursing this kind of work? How has dating been for those with significant enlightenment experiences? I've never dated before in my life, i'm 24 now, and i'm really interested in finding a partner but i'm not sure how likely it is to find someone incredibly attractive who is also compatible with my higher spiritual goals. Any insights would be appreciated.

[ajasatya]

@Raptorsin7 Go to yoga workshops, classes, retreats etc.

[Raptorsin7]

@ajasatya  What kind of classes? I just started doing yoga, and I'm currently in law school so I spend a decent amount of time at my university but I don't really interact with people outside the law school. Right now i'm just focusing on going to class, studying, going to yoga/gym and trying to be friendly to everyone. I have no interest in cold approach due to my fear of looking like a creep and because I want to get know someone before I actually ask them out, so i'm not sure how long it will take to meet someone like this.

[ajasatya]

@Raptorsin7 That's good. Expand your social network. Make true friends. Eventually you'll find someone that's worth sharing intimacy with.

[Raptorsin7]

@ajasatya Alright will do thanks

[Leo Gura]

Best to keep dating and enlightenment separate pursuits.

If you wanna date, go date.

If you want enlightenment, go do enlightenment work.

Dating is not about finding some Buddha to bang. You bang whoever you can and see where things go from there. Don't expect your partner to know anything about enlightenment.

Maybe if you're lucky you'll bump into a girl who meditates or does Hatha yoga. But even that is rare. And even then it will all just be surface level stuff.

[Paulus Amadeus]

@Raptorsin7 your best shot is finding a girl who is open, and then slowly introducing her to enlightenment and self-actualization. This will probably require you meeting a ton of girls though, and then still you need to get lucky. Most girls wont be open to this.

It is possible though!

i think going to events around spirituality and psychedelics could also help, although you are going to feel creepy real fast at those place when you try to do pick up there

[pluto]

On the contrary, when you are in tune with spirit and you see with your true sight(minds eye), you will find women who are also more in tune with themselves far more attractive than those who are not as you no longer see with the eyes but the spiritual eye, so to speak.

You will notice aura's, energetic patterns and emissions and a elector-magnetic pull that you cannot ignore. This in turn, allows you to see the true beauty for who they are. I personally find women far more beautiful when they do not wear any makeup and are simply being themselves than those who are stuck in thoughts and illusory ways copying one another and following society's expectations instead of being their true selves.

Soon as they start distorting themselves, i see and feel disruptive energy which in turn distorts and greys out their aura and true beauty from shining through. Once you awaken to your true self, the most beautiful people will be seen.

[Privet]

@Raptorsin7  Is attractive appearance a dealbreaker for you?

[Devi Shanti]

@Raptorsin7 and @Leo Gura  what would you do if you found an amazing girl who is committed to her spiritual development who will only leave celibacy when find a partner to the rest of her life (in other words, be married)? Would you stay in a celibate relationship until be sure you wanna be with this person for your entire life? Would you get out as soon as possible? Would you remain in an afective relationship with her while banging other girls around? I am really interested in your answers.

Edited September 24, 2019 by Devi Shanti

[Raptorsin7]

@Leo Gura But people will be more or less compatible with these kinds of concepts right? I imagine there's a spectrum whereby girls on one end will have personalities/lifestyles that are more conducive to this kind of work

[Raptorsin7]

@Privet Yes

[Raptorsin7]

@Devi Shanti It really depends on the girl. If she's a unicorn ,rich, beautiful, kind, open-minded, and intelligent then i'd defintely try the relationship. But for me 99% of girls who are celebate will be an instant turn off. Its too dogmatic, i can't think of a good, secular, reason why someone would remain celebate.

[Dwarniel]

Trust me, it's not like it's any easier for us to find attractive guys that's interested in this stuff. It's pretty rare, male or female. Maybe your best bet is to find someone that's high in openness, if you lead by example they might get interested in self actualizing and spirituality over time

Edited September 24, 2019 by Dwarniel

[Raptorsin7]

@Dwarniel Yea that is my instinct as well. I don't expect to find someone committed to the path like me, but there will be girls who better embody healthy traits simply through a good upbringing, and also happen to be good looking and open minded haha.

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Devi Shanti said:

@Raptorsin7 and @Leo Gura  what would you do if you found an amazing girl who is committed to her spiritual development who will only leave celibacy when find a partner to the rest of her life (in other words, be married)? Would you stay in a celibate relationship until be sure you wanna be with this person for your entire life? Would you get out as soon as possible? Would you remain in an afective relationship with her while banging other girls around? I am really interested in your answers.

Well, you can do whatever you want.

Personally I would not date a girl who doesn't have sex by the end of 2nd date.

Ain't no such thing as celibate girls unless maybe they're nuns. And even then I wouldn't take this celibacy seriously. This is an act. Not real celibacy.

Again, you can do whatever you want. These are just my personal standards.

[Devi Shanti]

@Leo Gura why do you think there aren't celibate girls who aren't nuns? Do you think there are men, though?

Edited September 25, 2019 by Devi Shanti

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, you can do whatever you want.

Personally I would not date a girl who doesn't have sex by the end of 2nd date.

Ain't no such thing as celibate girls unless maybe they're nuns. And even then I wouldn't take this celibacy seriously. This is an act. Not real celibacy.

Again, you can do whatever you want. These are just my personal standards.

@Leo Gura How often are you able to experience intimacy with your partner(s)? 

It feels like you have a lot of mind-rules that could keep you out of experiencing a relationship with your heart. And without that, you're better off disengaging with relationships as they'll only drag you down as opposed to allowing you to grow together.

Check-box mentality has its place. But it's only healthy for it to be like 20% of the process of the initial phases of dating. 

Relationship is inherently intuitive, if you want to do it in a way that's fulfilling for you and your partner. 

Have you ever been in love before?

 

 

[joeyi99]

why not just meet chicks at retreats? Bingo

[Sempiternity]

I've been celibate for over 2 years, as a part of my Spiritual path. That whole thing of letting go of desires and attachments. It's been amazing being free from something that ruled my whole life, for most of my life. If I as a man can do that, it's frankly ignorant to think that there are not women out there that do the same. In fact I know dozens of them. Most of the women in my communities are like this. They would rather stay celibate, than deal with childish toxic abusive men. If a man comes along, who understands real love, and has worked through all his shit, and can add to her life and not take away, then she will add sex to the equation. But most of them can take it or leave it. They're having a blast being alone, so you have to be something real special to change that.

So with all love and respect Leo, I think you've sometimes got some low conscious views on women, relationships, and sex. I'd say solid Orange type of thinking. Your dislike of "Hippies" (which are solid Green) makes it all the more clear of this Orange thinking. Maybe you should spend some time around Green or Yellow women. You might learn they are really amazing. They're not about sex. They are about love. And if you are lucky enough to interest her heart, time with her will be a thousand times better than time with any chick you pickup at some bar. 

Just a viewpoint, I could be way off. No offence meant. 

Edited September 25, 2019 by Jed Vassallo