The Don

Why am I not interested in having a relationship anymore?

10 posts in this topic

Hello.

I find myself in a strange position because I don't feel the need to have a relationship; not anymore. And I'm 26 years old.

Since I started my self-actualization journey, I pretty much enjoy being alone. I like spending time in my own company.

The so-called "wish" to be in a relationship just vanished after a year of daily meditation.

I think about the future and the fact that probably I'll end up alone and that won't be so great... Not having a family and kids.

Although I'm trying every day to get my desire for relationships back, it seems that it won't work.

Doing something forcefully will not work.

On the other hand, many of my friends don't have relationships either.

So many people are single and will remain like that for the rest of their lives; no family, no kids.

What happens when people stop engaging in relationships and stop having kids? Will that lead to a promising future?

My thinking becomes systematic - it's affecting me on a personal level.

In this case, for example, take a look at the fact that the US fertility rate is below the level needed to replace the population.

What are we doing? Why did we get here?

Edited by The Don
Clearing an empty row.

Me on the road less traveled.

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17 minutes ago, The Don said:

I find myself in a strange position because I don't feel the need to have a relationship; not anymore.

That sounds great, you have overcome the 'neediness' of having a relationship. 
This means you are no longer coming from a place of fear or deficiency, but from abundance and expression of love. 

In time, you will naturally grow to a place of wanting to give back. You will naturally want to find someone to share your abundance with, and they too with you. You are right, this can't be forced, but will come in its own time. Know that desperately trying to get your desires back will only emphasise your 'lack-of' mindset. Just like someone who desperately wants to be seen a beautiful, they will always have self-esteem problems. It's counter intuitive.

As for the fear of being single for the rest of your life, realise that this is just your mind catastrophizing. Your still very young. Come back in 5-10 years and it might be a different situation, but for now, have no fear, keep doing what you love :)

 

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Nothing wrong with that, if anything it's better. Live your life, pursue what you want to pursue and grow as much as you can. You'll naturally attract women, and you'll eventually find somebody that you really grow to love. If not, there's nothing wrong with it. Live your life doing what feels right, not what you feel you should be doing from conditioning. If a relationship doesn't seem right at the moment, don't force yourself to feel like it is. Good things come naturally. 

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Imagination creates reality. If you keep thinking that you'll never have a relationship then that's what you're putting out energetically.
Start telling yourself that you attract loving relationships and that you're truly worthy of one.

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On 9/22/2019 at 0:08 AM, The Don said:

Hello.

I find myself in a strange position because I don't feel the need to have a relationship; not anymore. And I'm 26 years old.

Since I started my self-actualization journey, I pretty much enjoy being alone. I like spending time in my own company.

The so-called "wish" to be in a relationship just vanished after a year of daily meditation.

I think about the future and the fact that probably I'll end up alone and that won't be so great... Not having a family and kids.

@The Don Whoaaa!!! This is so insane because this is how I FEEL a woman right now that's 27! Although I have gotten to these feeling in a different way (not by meditating - more so in Therapy, by depression)...I have also come to feel like my desires for romantic relationships have died, or at least gone away. Keep in mind, I have never been in a real romantic relationship and so that may be different to your situation but the feelings are very similar if not identical, in my opinion at least. I also enjoy spending time alone to the point where even if I don't go out with friends for a whole year, I'm fine with that completely. You could say that the lack of desire for romantic relationships have essentially "bled" in friendships as well then. 

Sadly, like you...I think about the future and feel deep sadness by being alone to the point of not having a Husband and kids ? I too don't understand what to do with these feelings really. It scares me because I was never this person growing up and suddenly like an opinion, all these layers of feeling and lost desires were revealed to me. 

Edited by Shir

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This has happened to me too when I started my spiritual journey. It seems like a common thread. 

I'm more than glad to not have anymore relationships in my life. 

My spirituality helps me cope with the space in life. 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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On 10/16/2019 at 10:22 AM, Preety_India said:

This has happened to me too when I started my spiritual journey. It seems like a common thread.

Thank you for this...

I know I'm not the OP but this has personally helped me right now because I thought it wasn't as common.

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I definitely feel that way too. Problem I find is people take relationships a little too seriously, every girl I've met is looking for immediate commitment and wants the relationship to be at the forefront but nobody wants to just treat it casually and have a good time

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hey that's good, you'll find a lot without doing anything anyway.

so keep not looking, they will look for you if the world want it.

 

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On 9/21/2019 at 11:08 PM, The Don said:

I find myself in a strange position because I don't feel the need to have a relationship; not anymore. And I'm 26 years old

Man if you don't have needs for that, clap clap. Now you can focus on bigger things. Like Nikola Tesla. :D

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