Guide to abundance

[docs20]

Hi what I've been struggling with for most of my life is reaching a level of abundance with women... Not having to live in my life a scarcity of sex of beautiful relationships and maybe one day to get a wife and a family that I really love and dream.
 

 It would be so long to tell you about the journey - which started while I was still a virgin (I was 20), what were my limiting beliefs and so on. Really it would take me so fucking long that it would bore me and you out of your mind. I've been struggling with times of my life where this thing seems to improve and other where it doesn't even though I've been for around 3 years in the pick-up community. I don't maybe I need to get live coaching to get more personalized... I really don't know... So I'm asking you.

What I want to ask to the more advanced ones here, especially Leo of course... is after all the work that you've done in spirituality and so on, what would be the process to get this area of my life finally handled, like what would be the journey to have, methods to use to improve. Cause I feel that the pick-up community is very limited, and maybe part of my answers are here.

You guys especially, Leo, could really change my life on this... as Leo already did with so many of his videos which just recently I really got more deep into. Like even just the last one on fear it was really worth more than gold...

Thank you very much in advance
 

[NoSelfSelf]

Well become more attractive to girls if you learned "the game" and how relationship works i think you would be in right direction im not advanced or anything but i think this is how it goes...

[Knock]

@docs20 Great topic! This can be a loaded term, so here are some quick clarifying questions to establish some context:

• What does sexual abundance mean to you?
• Why do you want sexual abundance?
• What kind of women do you want to attract?

[Knock]

I decided to write a more generalised guide for those who share the common misinterpretations of sexual abundance that I often see online. Sorry OP if I jumped the gun and this doesn't apply to you, but I hope it may resonate with some others if that is the case.

Sexual Abundance - The common misconceptions and how to overcome them.

If you think sexual abundance means being able to pick up any women, then you have to settle for being what most women want in a guy. Think typical masculine traits like confidence, money, assertiveness, good looks, etc. But trust me, this is a very poor goal and is not what you ultimately want.

What you ultimately want is someone who you can connect with.  Someone that shares the same values as you do. Obviously, this means you need to find your own values, if you haven’t done that already. If you don’t know that that means, I am happy to explain further.

Secondly, through this screening process, this means that you immediately reject 90%+ of women who have different values to you. This is a good thing, you DO NOT want to waste time with them.

Having this, you have conquered the #1 reason of unattractiveness; neediness. This moves you from the deficient mindset to the abundance mindset. When you know what you want, and you are not afraid to reject others to go after it, you become purposeful. You stand for something. You are not a people pleaser. And this makes you attractive.

Girls like a purposeful man, someone who is confident in what he stands for, someone who knows his value and won’t bend the knee to anyone who will pay him attention. But you can only do that by coming from a place of self-worth. And more importantly, a self-worth that is based on meaningful values, and not on narcissism or pride.

That is not to say that you blow anyone off who is talking to you that doesn’t fit your standards. Being respectful to another human being, even if you are not attracted to them, shows decency and mutual respect.

Girls will show you the type of person they are when you talk to them. If you approach a girl and say “hi”, and she immediately blows you off, she has entitlement problems. The screen doing its job, you can move on knowing that you dodged a bullet.

Now, you have conquered the inner game, how do you manifest it into reality? Well by obviously taking action and meeting girls. Your values will predicate where you will find the girls you want to attract. If you want to attract immodest girls, nightclubs are a great idea. If you value nature, join a bushwalking club. If you want to attract girls with humility and altruism, then join a volunteer group.

But ultimately, I think the best way to find an attractive partner with similar values, is to just be your own man doing the things you love and putting yourself out there in the world. That is, to let-go of the need for a relationship, but still putting yourself out there for the occurrence to happen. Not because you need a girlfriend, but because you just love your life and love doing what you value.

[docs20]

15 hours ago, Knock said:

I decided to write a more generalised guide for those who share the common misinterpretations of sexual abundance that I often see online. Sorry OP if I jumped the gun and this doesn't apply to you, but I hope it may resonate with some others if that is the case.

Sexual Abundance - The common misconceptions and how to overcome them.

If you think sexual abundance means being able to pick up any women, then you have to settle for being what most women want in a guy. Think typical masculine traits like confidence, money, assertiveness, good looks, etc. But trust me, this is a very poor goal and is not what you ultimately want.

What you ultimately want is someone who you can connect with.  Someone that shares the same values as you do. Obviously, this means you need to find your own values, if you haven’t done that already. If you don’t know that that means, I am happy to explain further.

Secondly, through this screening process, this means that you immediately reject 90%+ of women who have different values to you. This is a good thing, you DO NOT want to waste time with them.

Having this, you have conquered the #1 reason of unattractiveness; neediness. This moves you from the deficient mindset to the abundance mindset. When you know what you want, and you are not afraid to reject others to go after it, you become purposeful. You stand for something. You are not a people pleaser. And this makes you attractive.

Girls like a purposeful man, someone who is confident in what he stands for, someone who knows his value and won’t bend the knee to anyone who will pay him attention. But you can only do that by coming from a place of self-worth. And more importantly, a self-worth that is based on meaningful values, and not on narcissism or pride.

That is not to say that you blow anyone off who is talking to you that doesn’t fit your standards. Being respectful to another human being, even if you are not attracted to them, shows decency and mutual respect.

Girls will show you the type of person they are when you talk to them. If you approach a girl and say “hi”, and she immediately blows you off, she has entitlement problems. The screen doing its job, you can move on knowing that you dodged a bullet.

Now, you have conquered the inner game, how do you manifest it into reality? Well by obviously taking action and meeting girls. Your values will predicate where you will find the girls you want to attract. If you want to attract immodest girls, nightclubs are a great idea. If you value nature, join a bushwalking club. If you want to attract girls with humility and altruism, then join a volunteer group.

But ultimately, I think the best way to find an attractive partner with similar values, is to just be your own man doing the things you love and putting yourself out there in the world. That is, to let-go of the need for a relationship, but still putting yourself out there for the occurrence to happen. Not because you need a girlfriend, but because you just love your life and love doing what you value.

Really one of the best posts on "pick-up advice" ever read. Like for real.

I kinda already feel that I have to screen but I kinda feel in my body that most of the times I use it as an excuse cause maybe she wasn't attracted to be and I want to water it down to something like "Oh we are not compatible that's why the date went to no where and not because maybe she wasn't attracted enough", since often I don't want a relationship out of a particular girl but I just want an experience with her maybe because I like her body or her energy in that particular time I feel that I can't have it by screening her for values which I feel much more appropriate when looking for a serious relationship of course.

Like for example how do you actually screen for example in a club? I have trouble putting all this concept, which look great on paper into practice in the real world... 

TO ME, IDEAL abundance would be like being Brad Pitt, but of course I know that is not possible in a million years since it is something that maybe like 50 man in 50 years all over the world reach about of the billions... But in MY LIFE, the abundance that I want would be feeling and having real proof that I don't have to wait months and tons of approaches to get laid maybe with a girl I decently like, to be able to go to a club or into a "daygame session" and have a good chance to go away with a girl that I really like (not necessarly a top model, since actually it is not even always my favourite type) and ultimately I'd like to have a deep connection with a few girls, just like you said, and maybe finding """the one""" to have a family with (possibly into threesomes with other girls lool)

[Yonkon]

@Knock Beautiful, thank you! When i started to let go from getting girls and begun to focus on my life Purpose i got my first gf. Crazy how that stuff works.

[universe]

To add on what Knock said. Yes, dont chase women. Dont be afraid to look into yourself and face the feelings you want to avoid: Imagine not being loved by anyone, talking for days with many people and no one who will give you validation. Feel into it. Feel it in your body. Accept that feeling fully. Imagine being in a situation where you cant make a girl stop laughing about you, pointing fingers at you. Where you just cant come up with any words that can change how she behaves. Feel how it is to loose control. Feel into it. Feel it in your body. Accept that feeling fully. Imagine being in a room with people where you talk about your intimate feelings and open yourself up. Imagine those people attacking you and talking down on you for what you said. Imagine how it is to be totally vulnerable. Feel into it. Feel it in your body. Accept that feeling fully.

Can you accept these situations?

Make it a challange, how bad can you make the situation in your head and still be ok with it?

Watch Leos video on Fear. Its very helpful. Fear = Not accepting a part of reality.

 

When you conquer your fears you will radiate acceptance and confidence. And also you shed your layers of protection that hide the real you that people can connect with (like Knock said).

This is really 90% of the way. The rest is learning some basic communication skills. 

 

Then when you go out, you will be confident that women will like you. Maybe not this one, maybe not the next one. It doesnt matter. You just do whatever you like, play around, have fun. That is how you have the abundance mindset.

 

The next step is to get actual abundance. When you get new numbers every day and you really give no flying fuck about if one girl stops being interested. At best you find it a little funny. Now you reached the level women are at naturally. They have so many guys interested in them, they dont give a damn about if one guy stops being interested

And you start to choose, and pick the girl you like the most and you go home with her. And the next day you do the same with another one. I mean you dont need to, but just knowing that you can. That gives you actual abundance.

You get into a flow.

You wont be able to get any girl, you will fail. Maybe when you go out one night you wont even get a single one. But the difference between someone with abundance and someone who is needy is: You dont start doubting yourself if things go south. Because you are sure of yourself. You know that you are enough.

Its the 10/10 mindset. Imagine a girl that is a 10/10. That is the world they live in.