Capabilities: What Are We Working On?

[Salaam]

Since this a self-improvement forum I thought it'd be cool to have a space where people could pop in and write down what they're currently working on with regard to self-improvement or self-actualization. A place to get support or bounce ideas off each other in a respectful, but authentic manner. I'd like to see this space with a focus on grounded objectives, rather than entitlements. If your working on what you believe is enlightenment, that's fine, but please be specific about your focus, like saying you're working on your sensitivity with bodily sensations to balance out an over-occupation with your mind's inner-narrative for example.

What I'm currently working on is managing the chemical by-product that is created and builds with every initiation of emotion. I can feel the build-up and can let it process out through my kidneys and liver, before continuing on with my area of focus or direction of feeling. This allows me greater clarity, stability, and nuance as a person, which over time changes my characteristics and removes the product of waste build-up, including things like a proclivity for delusion, aggression, certainty, blindness, and myriad types of assholery. This gives me access to much a larger volume of contextual information, exponentially increasing the quality and coherency of my growth.

I'm also working on holding in parallel my internal and external awareness, so they harmonize and work at the same time, much like how water moves up and over itself as the ocean tide. It creates a gravitational contrast allowing me to have the best of both worlds. So I can fully and deeply feel what I want, longer than ever before, while also thinking deeply about the feeling and processing the context around it, which makes my experiences that much more richer and viable for storage into long-term memory and and long-term skill retention.

But, enough about me.

What are you working on?

Edited May 16, 2016 by Salaam

[Salaam]

Ha, well... here's a new thing I'm working on and processing.

I've been working for a long time with myself, to be more in-tune and connected with the emotions and depths within me. Trying to balance my analytical side with my emotional side, my structure and shape balanced and in harmony with my color and energy. Doing so has helped me recover a lot of my memories along with deeper connections and understandings.

The day before yesterday I was going through one of my scarcity days, filled with a lot of pain and pressure, and as I was processing and embracing it all I realized that I don't have to use my mind to constantly organize directions to take around this stuff coming up.

I could use courage to guide me through in place of my mind and as I did so it unlocked a deep memory I had as a kid. Where I was at this party trying to fit in with people who didn't really give much of a fuck about me. And how things like that sometimes end up, I found myself being pushed to fight/wrestle this much bigger guy.

I was right there with my little self, riding with him, pouring my courage into him as he kept getting up and getting up, refusing to stay down. Till the big guy got too tired trying to knock me down and it was no longer "fun" for the crowd to watch this little fat kid with glasses have more heart and courage then they realized.

Processing this unlocked emotion connected the spark of a courage I had then with the ocean I have now and burned into my soul and bones the realization that no matter how big the challenge and how alone I am against it. I do NOT go down. I stand. Alone if I have too. Shunned and dismissed, with no support, it doesn't matter. My heart, my care, my courage will not allow me to surrender who I am.

I've cared for and protected this spark of courage for so long and I see now how it can take me through spaces and environments inside me that my smarts alone can't handle. It's a part of me at all times now and after that memory it unlocked a deeper connection with my darkness inside of me, which is the part that gives me the edge to birth abundance out of the deepest and most painful places of scarcity.

In these new depths of connection with my darkness I realized that stress and pain can feel really fucking good if I allow it to form that bridge connecting pain and pleasure. So I did through the force of connective tension and since then every bit of stress, pain, or fatigue has been tinged with tension euphoria.

It's really nice and balanced because the pleasure doesn't replace the pain. It just adds to it, so I can still judge if I'm pushing myself too hard and don't think I'm invincible/delusional. Plus, it completely side steps all thought processes and reactions tied to trying to figure out pleasure and run away from pain. I have constant pleasure so I don't need to seek it and constant pain that's not a big deal so I don't need to escape or surrender to it.

It's allowed me to be much more resilient and laid back and to handle deeper and more intense feelings and sides of who I am. Because so often my processing would be derailed or made diffuse by seeking pleasure or trying to leverage away from pain. The allure or stress from either side distracting me from holding the emotional integrity necessary for the deeper, bigger parts of my identity to surface and "lock in".

God the tension in balancing the depths of my nature burns and soothes me so beautifully. I'm so glad to have finally connected my pain and pleasure together. I wouldn't have been able to do that without darkness and courage and my deep connection with tension of course.

Edited May 21, 2016 by Salaam

[Tancrede Pouyat]

Four months ago, I finished the Life Purpose Course. I've been working on making it real ever since, it's been a lot of fun. I haven't made much progress, which is normal because people don't change the world in 4 months, and also because I wasn't 100% clear about what it was, only 90% clear. Now I am.
What I'm working on specifically is this : I am creating a course that I called "The Lazy High Achiever", which is going to teach people how to achieve great goals (like fulfilling one's life purpose, or attaining enlightenment) with the amount of effort that's necessary and sufficient (aka. not too much, not too little, just the right amount). I think it's important for people who are just starting out and need some clearance about it. I am also creating a course that I called "The Atoms of Self-Actualization", in which I am going to talk about the fundamental principles of Self-Actualization. Leo has something similar, but I intend to spin it into my own style, for my particular audience.

I'm still putting the pieces of my vision together but I think I want to create my own social network on Ning, it will allow my community to connect and support each other, kind of like this forum, except with my style.
Also I've been increasing the amount of attention I put into being mindful of my emotions and thoughts. I've been having great results from that, it's been a lot of fun. I'm going to keep going.

[Salaam]

@Tancrede Pouyat

Really nice. I feel like your "lazy high achiever" could be a more grounded and normalized version for people, than a lot of the other things people put out there, that seem to run on delusions of grandeur and empty emotional platitudes. I'm liking the intention for balance behind it.

And the "atoms of self-actualization" sounds like a great thing to work on. I have something similar I call the "Elements of Capability" that I created for myself to understand the core facets of learning and it's helped me so much in growing and expanding who I am. I wouldn't have been able to balance my analytical and emotional sides without pouring so much of my time and attention into it. 

Good luck!

[Salaam]

So the four things I'm working on this week are harmonizing the duality of courage and fear, allowing more light, to match and balance out my darkness, harmonizing diffusion/options with specificity/limitation, and balancing trust/automation with self-control/capability.

Oh and there is also the connection with my sex. Connecting with those parts of me, not just when I want to have sex, but in the down times in between. So I'm not just connecting with my sex to "drink" from it, but because I want to have a relationship that includes that part of me in all facets of my life.

My sex is about sharing, connection, and expression, not release. It's beautiful because it creates this slow burn of sexuality in my body that washes over me and can turn every bit of my communication at times into this feeling of sex. The air thickens around me and just looking into my wife's eyes feels like I'm slowly sliding into her wetness. Moving forward into her space, kissing her, pressing her body against mine, each touch a sensual penetration, her energy, hungrily wrapping around my presence and gyrating, pulsing, gently vibrating.

It feels so fucking good being the man I am and seeing how this world can show me pleasures I never knew could exist.