How to stop this paranoia?

[Voladores]

When I'm among people, walking down a street or at some gathering, I think people despise me. I feel as if I cause disgust just by being around. Especially when around girls. I think it's not ordinary social anxiety. Can't even describe the depth of this feeling. As if i'm corrupted, cursed, and the most revolting creature ever existed. I dont want people to look at me, talk to me or even touch me. 

[ajasatya]

@Voladores Shut your mind and listen to people. Make eye contact and relax your body. You don't even need to say anything. Just be a listener and you'll do more good to people than 99.9% of the human population.

Everyone wants to be a speaker. There are thousands of courses for that. Coaching and all that s***. But who wants to be a listener? Listeners are the rare ones.

[Nahm]

@ajasatya ??♥️?

”shut your mind”

priceless advice. 

[Michael569]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

Shut your mind and listen to people. Make eye contact and relax your body. You don't even need to say anything. Just be a listener and you'll do more good to people than 99.9% of the human population.

Everyone wants to be a speaker. There are thousands of courses for that. Coaching and all that s***. But who wants to be a listener? Listeners are the rare ones.

^^

[Socrates]

Sums up the treatment of every mental illness being social anxiety, anger, fear, insecurities and so on.

 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, ajasatya said:

Shut your mind 

@Voladores  If you want to overcome this challenge there only two steps:

1. Practice what you are not good at yet 

2. Spirituality for detachment and quiet mind

[Voladores]

@ajasatya Most of the time I'm silent. I speak only when spoken to. I don't initiate conversations. And if somebody wants to talk with me about some mundane stuff I just nod and smile, or just agree. I rarely speak with people of my age. (I'm 27) I'd rather speak with somebody over 35, because they are more level headed. It seems to me that young people nowadays are mean to some extent, especially when they feel that you're weak. They start to mock and tease you. That's why I don't have friends and haven't had a girlfriend. And the older I become the stronger the feeling that there is no place for me anywhere. I can't even meet people with the same interests as I have, because even there I feel as an outcast.

[ajasatya]

@Voladores Being silent is very different from actually listening. One can have a shut mouth and a monkey mind.

[Voladores]

@ajasatya Also I noticed as if there is an evil entity in my mind. It abuses me harshly until I just start to cry. In the past year I became quick to tears. I can't be still with myself. If I'm not doing anything, this voice starts to humiliate me. Though it brings suffering, I can't stop this habit, as if I like it subconsciously, sort of masochistic self-deminishing pleasure. 

[Truth Addict]

Guys, it's not easy for everyone to just shut their minds.

..

@Voladores

It's okay. There seems to be an accumulated resistance to being around people.

Chances are it didn't happen suddenly but had grown and been building up gradually. Is that right? And if so, could you elaborate and give us some background story so that we can be more specific with our advice?

Edited September 21, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Voladores]

@Truth Addict I don't know, there were many things that could turn me into total mess. My father was very demanding and intolerable. I was punished for every mistake I made. He could be angry at me and be withdrawn for whole 2 weeks. So there was an emotional neglect I can say. Also in my preteen years I was bullied by older guys when I was on the street. I guess since then I developed fear towards guys. In my teens as every boy I wanted to be with girls. But nobody taught me how to connect, and nobody helped me. I was weird af. My peers laughed at my pathetic attempts. Then I stopped trying. So then when I developed a crush on somebody, I kept my feelings inside until they died out. Though I chatted with girls far from my hometown via ICQ. Once I shared my photo with one girl. She said my appearance was not good. Then I stopped trying to find a girlfriend completely. Then I guess my worst mistake was to read 4chan and incel forums. I persuaded myself that I'm the last in hierarchy of men, an omega male, that no girl ever would look at me. Now, I live with my parents, have a shitty job, just to have some coins in my pocket. I play videogames in all my free time, sometimes read books. I watch self-developement videos, mostly Leo's. They're thought provoking, sure. But I gave up on my life. I developed several medical conditions. Though nothing severe, but I'm very hypochondric, and I think it might get worse. So this is my story. (Sorry for my English if it seems a bit off, it is not my native language)

Edited September 21, 2019 by Voladores

[Truth Addict]

@Voladores

It's probably obvious and basic for someone well-developed like you, but have you tried shadow work and emotional healing? This you can do by yourself.

The other suggestion is psychoanalysis as recommended by winterknight, an enlightened former member on this forum. Here: 

This is shadow work facilitated by experts, so it requires someone else to help you if you feel comfortable with that.

Remember that you can use the search function to help you find more specific results.

Edited September 21, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Voladores]

3 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

shadow work and emotional healing

No, I haven't. My mind rejects this kind of treatment. I think it's girlish.

[Truth Addict]

6 minutes ago, Voladores said:

I think it's girlish.

Well, according to my and many other people's experiences, it's not. In fact, it requires really huge balls to dig into one's past and face the deep-rooted fears.

The judgement 'girlish' is not a healthy excuse. Do whatever cures you.

Edited September 21, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Voladores]

@Truth Addict Ok, I got it. I think I should just try whatever I come across as a promising tool to help. 

[Truth Addict]

@Voladores ??❤️

[Nahm]

6 hours ago, Voladores said:

So this is my story.

Only if you say so.

Today is anew. 

If you say it is so. 

[ajasatya]

11 hours ago, Voladores said:

No, I haven't. My mind rejects this kind of treatment. I think it's girlish.

Hi. I'm the most girlish hetero guy I've ever seen. Nice to meet you.

This is just the beginning. It's a matter of time. You won't recognize yourself in 3~4 years or so.

[bejapuskas]

13 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

Guys, it's not easy for everyone to just shut their minds.

@Truth Addict  Especially for you it's hard, right?  

[Truth Addict]

11 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Truth Addict  Especially for you it's hard, right?  

Not really. I stopped repressing and started expressing.

[bejapuskas]

@Truth Addict  Shutting your mind is not the same thing as repressing though