Strange Relationship With Food

[ecloga]

Hello, i apologize for my terrible english and hope that you will understand me anyway.

I'm 16years old and my relationship with food was always unusual, i could stay without food a day long and then i ate a lot, not becouse i was hungry, just becouse i wanted to be healthy and alive (everyone told me that i will die if i won't eat, furthermore my best friend was a little bit chubby and everyone loves her, so i was kind of jealous)

So i forced myself to eat, even if i hated doing this.

Three years ago, as i was 13 i started to notice that i'm actually eating so much as never before so i decided to loose weight. I started my story with anorexia and bulimia (binge eating).

In december 2014 my weight was about 39kg and height 167. I was like a plant.

In one year i gained 16kg (now i'm 56kg) and a big, subconscious fear of stravation. I know that i need to stop eating 3000kcal a day but i simply can't. I want my body to be little and charming, so it can express my internal world and stay aesthetic. Of course i won't loose more than 5kg, becouse i want to stay healthy. But this fear of losting my periods, which were extremly hard to establish after my weigh loss, kills me.

I'm addicted to this worry of my health.

I know that controlled fasting would make me feel better. I won't gain weight anymore, i want to have a perfect body, things like diet and exercises are very easy for me, becouse i'm quite disciplined.

So, you know. I have a fear of death and stravation.

How to deal with it?

 

 

Edited May 16, 2016 by ecloga

[ACE]

To be honest with you 56 kg is healthy for a 16 years old person in my opinion, but it also depends on your height.
I think your problem is more likely that you are not satisfied with your own personal self image, and that's why you think you need to lose weight. You just need to get some confidence, and be happy with your own look. Trust me, I'm sure you have a perfect body.
And there is and there will never be such a body on this world which will be attractive to everyone. There are people who like others who are skinny, there are people who like people who has a little extra, and there are people who like others who are muscular.
You can never be perfect for everyone else.
But you can be perfect to yourself. Just learn to value your own look, it has it's own beauty even if you think otherwise.

[NelsonPalmer]

To my mind you should visit a psychologist! It's only mental problem and the psychologist will explain you everything!

[ChimpBrain]

3000 calories is not an unusual amount of food for a 16yr old, especially if you're male and especially if you exercise. But yeah you seem to have a relatively unhealthy relationship with food and/or body image issues judging by the other stuff you said. 

[Franz]

You are making up problems, my friend. Your physical state is very good the way it is, judging

by your description, including your Hunger! You are growing, young man! Do you think you will be a grown adult 

soon without gaining more weight or even losing some? A 56 kg Man? I dont think so. 

 

Eat healthy food and dont restrict yourself in calories. The reason teenagers are fat is not because of the amount

of good, healthy meals they eat to quiet their hunger. Its all the sugar and other crap society throws at you.

 

If you start to restrict yourself at this important time of growth in your life, you will regret it later. You will never fulfill your

physical potential.

 

Keep training, having fun, and eat as much good stuff as you like. Just try to become obese eating rice, fruits, potatoes,

or chicken (examples) all day... it wont happen.

 

strength and happiness to you

Edited May 21, 2016 by Franz