Examples on the best ways to be with lower tier stages

[Derek]

Hi everyone! 

I have read a lot on Spiral Dynamics and watched Leo's videos and yet I see very little advise on how to best be with people at different stages. For example, how to most skillfully be with a blue Trump voter or how to best interact with an strong orange business mindset that sees no interest in environmentalism etc. 

Can anyone point on to a resource that gives practical, skillful, direct advice on how to be with each of the lower tier stages? (At least, in general terms) 

Thank you so much! 

[Ananta]

Don't be opinionated and judgemental yourself and the opinions and judgements of others wont bother you so much.

[Truth Addict]

You're basically asking us to point you towards an ideology.

[Omni]

The tricky part is the nuances here, not everyone is exactly the same in their development, no matter what "category" they are in, and even then their situational upbringings and everything else always have additional "baggage" to the interaction.

Anna is right about not being so judgmental, but it's a bit more than just that - being non-judgmental comes from a place of understanding, of oneself and others. You understand why someone acts the way they do, and why you act the way you do. Therefore it becomes more inherent in your interactions that you are not pegging yourself higher (narcissism) or lower (insecurity/self hate) - If you can speak to someone, freely open to their ideas not from a place of defensiveness trying to smash their beliefs with a hammer but come from a place of openness, you may get further within the interaction and both parties may leave with something valuable from that discussion.

all in all, i'd say try to understand why you want to communicate with someone in a differing stage on the spiral and how your interactions can cascade to events further down the line, whatever that may be for that instance.

[Eph75]

I've been contemplating questions like this myself.

How to best interact with individuals in lower stages, from their point of view, without immediately presenting solutions, solutions that those very individuals are not likely to either see/understand and at the very least not accept. All this from a developmental perspective where I wish to help by being a catalyzer for growth in people in general.

Pulling too hard and too obviously will only create resistance, we're not likely to want to be convinced of things, so arguing is a complete waste of time. The key I think it so find a way to communicate on the same level and in such ways that the other part subtly reasons him or herself towards an emergent sense and meaning making - being/offering a subtle upwards gravitational pull for long term growth/change.

I'm struggling with this. I tend to much too quickly offer my perspective and understanding. I need much self-work on this front.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Eph75

[Commodent]

The "Spiral Dynamics" book covers this pretty extensively.

If you're not sure where people are on the spiral you can apply the universal "P-O-A", as they call it. I compiled an extract of what the book says about it. For more info see page 118 in the book:

Quote

 

P - The politeness factor

Politeness is defines quite simply as being civil, friendly, cordial, considerate, genuine, empathetic, firm but fair, civilized, and sensitive.

Here are some dynamics of Politeness:

• Shows genuine interest in persons
• Adheres to the established social norms and niceties in doing what is proper in terms of honors, condolences, and other personal or professional recognitions.
• Strikes a good balance between interest in the lives of others and their right to personal autonomy, privacy and freedom.
• Listens without becoming distracted or ego-speaking, yet can express personal time constraints honestly and directly such that the other person does not feel high-handedly 'dismissed'.

O - The openness factor

Openness is expressed in two ways. First, it is the extent to which the leader is authentic, transparent, sharing available, and emotionally above-board. Second, openness fosters a climate that gives permission for others, as individuals or groups, to be communicative and straightforward.

When both Politeness and Openness are healthy, interpersonal communication improves and relationships cannot help but strengthen. This does not mean lots of chatter and hugs, but clear, concise, accurate exchanges of both content and feelings without fear of reprisals or exploitation.

A - The autocracy factor

In Gravesian terms, Autocracy simply means taking charge, accepting responsibility, knowing where the 'buck stops,' and being willing to put one's self on the line. When accompanied by Politeness and Openness, the tug of authority and control sends more positive than negative messages and fear leaves the equation.

 

PS:  This works for all stages, not just lower stages.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Commodent

[LeoIsMe69]

Most stages of people can probably benefit from learning about FORGIVENESS of self and others

[Dan502]

Sometimes

"How can I interact with lower stages?" 

might mean:

"How can I responsibly deal with my own emotional reactions to people who hold and manifest different beliefs?"

There's an element of fun to be found in this work.

I find it can help to share your accounts of interactions with a third person. Someone fairly neutral. Even if they aren't familiar with spiral dynamics.

[Mason Riggle]

It might help if you were to view the stages along the spiral as different, but no better or worse.   As Leo explained it in a video in a similar manner:  There is nothing 'wrong' with second graders because they are in second grade and not in 5th grade.  2nd grade isn't a 'lower' stage in the sense that it's worse than 5th grade.. it's perfectly fine to be in 2nd grade, and wouldn't make sense to 'look down on' 2nd graders for not being in 5th grade yet. 

Be careful not to be judgmental of any stage. 

[Derek]

10 hours ago, Commodent said:

The "Spiral Dynamics" book covers this pretty extensively.

 

Thank you very much! I

[Derek]

9 hours ago, Dan502 said:

I find it can help to share your accounts of interactions with a third person. Someone fairly neutral. Even if they aren't familiar with spiral dynamics.

Good point, thanks Dan! 

[Derek]

18 hours ago, Eph75 said:

I've been contemplating questions like this myself.

How to best interact with individuals in lower stages, from their point of view, without immediately presenting solutions, solutions that those very individuals are not likely to either see/understand and at the very least not accept. All this from a developmental perspective where I wish to help by being a catalyzer for growth in people in general.

Pulling too hard and too obviously will only create resistance, we're not likely to want to be convinced of things, so arguing is a complete waste of time. The key I think it so find a way to communicate on the same level and in such ways that the other part subtly reasons him or herself towards an emergent sense and meaning making - being/offering a subtle upwards gravitational pull for long term growth/change.

I'm struggling with this. I tend to much too quickly offer my perspective and understanding. I need much self-work on this front.

Yes, I'm noticing the more I'm able to accept and integrate my own blue and orange tendencies, the easier it is to accept others