Inner Child/Shadow work

[PlayOnWords]

Hey, 

I'm wondering how to reintegrate my inner child. It seems my therapy sessions have been leading to the very foundation of my neurosies (awesome!) and the foundation, some might say obviously, is all the shit from my childhood! Funny how I've been telling myself that I'm over that, and just blaming other things that are still strongly connected to the initial programming.

So anyway, I decided after my most recent counseling session to confront my mum about how much of a neglectful, unloving, reckless bitch she was back then. So that was cool. 

Over the past few months I have felt a very strong urge to cry, but it just wouldn't happen. However, just last night, I decided to do an inner child guided meditation and within a few minutes, I was bawling. It was fucking great. 

So, I would like to hear from those of you who have had success in this area, how you went about it, tricks and tips and all that good stuff.

 

Love. 

 

[Scholar]

13 minutes ago, PlayOnWords said:

Hey, 

I'm wondering how to reintegrate my inner child. It seems my therapy sessions have been leading to the very foundation of my neurosies (awesome!) and the foundation, some might say obviously, is all the shit from my childhood! Funny how I've been telling myself that I'm over that, and just blaming other things that are still strongly connected to the initial programming.

So anyway, I decided after my most recent counseling session to confront my mum about how much of a neglectful, unloving, reckless bitch she was back then. So that was cool. 

Over the past few months I have felt a very strong urge to cry, but it just wouldn't happen. However, just last night, I decided to do an inner child guided meditation and within a few minutes, I was bawling. It was fucking great. 

So, I would like to hear from those of you who have had success in this area, how you went about it, tricks and tips and all that good stuff.

 

Love. 

 

I would say view your inner child as an inner child, literally. The subconscious will communicate emotions with you, like a child, and you really just have to behave like it was actually a child communicating with you.

Is the child sad about something, is it hurt, does it have self-esteem issues? Well, think about what would be perfect for that child, and become that. Does it need a strong mentor who listens to him, encourages him, maybe even challenges him from time to time to let him see that he can do more than he thinks? Well, then that is what it needs.

Treat it like a relationship. Put yourself into the position of the child, read what it is communicating to you, and then imagine who it would need to solve that. And that is what you will need to become. See, when you let your mom abuse you, you also let her abuse the inner child. The inner child will feel helpless, it will even feel betrayed by you. You are it's guardian, what would you feel like if your guardian just let everyone abuse you?

Your guardian should protect you, and that is what you need to do with the child. When the child is communicating feelings to you, you just have to listen to it. Don't judge it, meaning don't judge yourself for feeling a certain way. Imagine others judged you for how you feel, what would that make you feel like? Would it help you, or would it damage you?

How you talk to yourself is how you talk to the inner child, and it is literally a child. You can't play tough parent when it has no self-esteem, you can't be harsh with it when it has not learned to be resiliant and strong. You have to build it's self-esteem. Every word you think it will hear, each time you judge yourself you are judging it. Each time your encourage yourself you are encouraging it.

And don't forget, it knows you. It will know when you are lying to it, you have to genuinely start loving your inner child. Once you do, it will feel comfortable with you, it will share more feelings and you will be giving it the opportunity to heal. You have to build a relationship of trust, you have to step up for the child. Sometimes the child will behave childish, and just like with a real child, you might have to snap it out of it. But you always have to do that from a position of love and acceptance, even when it is something that will challenge it.

The child might become arrogant one day, and then you will have to use different strategies. You will know what to do because you know what to do when it comes to other people. If not, just learn more about psychology.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Scholar

[mandyjw]

Look back on your childhood and your life from the perspective that you are an author who was writing a story. So instead of identifying with being the character of the child, you are now the author who dreamed up that character. Why did you choose the parents that you did for your character? Why did you write those hurtful or traumatic things into that story? How did they help the character become who they are today? 

[PlayOnWords]

@Scholar @mandyjw Thank you. 

[Chi_]

Any good books about Inner Child work?