I need help. I am wasting all my time and getting distracted

[assx95]

I am preparing for competitive exams which are in 2 months, and i am getting distracted, watching porn and youtube, and i can't stop doing it. In a certain way, i have this subconscious desire to fail. This other side of me, which wants to keep getting pleasure all day is overpowering me. What do i do? I need this to stop. 

[CreamCat]

• You imagine that you have to give in to your temptations. You really don't.
• You have to accept that you just have to do the study despite temptations and distractions.
  Remove distractions, and just do the study.
  • It can be hard to recognize distractions in the middle of distractions.
• Don't push yourself too hard. Many times a day, you need to slow down a bit.
  Slow down as much and often as you need, but don't give in to temptations.
  In practice, this looks like not doing anything distracting for 5~15 minutes.
  In other words, you will end up doing do-nothing meditation.
  I exercise during my breaks.
  • I use pomodoro technique. A pomodoro session is a 25-minute work session.
    After each pomodoro session, I take a 5-minute break or a 10-minute break.
• Over time, you want to learn to love what you study. Or, study what you love.
  Without love, curiosity, and interest, you cannot develop mastery in the long term.
  The most important thing in the long term is to increase love and curiosity in your work.
• It takes time to build momentum. Build momentum within a day. Build momentum over months and years.

Edited September 14, 2019 by CreamCat

[assx95]

@CreamCat

6 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

You imagine that you have to give in to your temptations. You really don't.

Thanks, I will work on that. 

[Jordan94]

- Reactive energy can get a really powerful momentum so there's a part of just being really careful on the begining of the day to not fall into reactive energy, and then if you start proactivly it's gonna build up proactiv momentum as well, so really plan and make a routine of proactive activities starting the morning

- Get your WHYs on point, Why do you want to get that exam ? what do you want from it, why is it important for you ? why is it good for you ?

And also check some inner contradictions, what could be bad about getting that exam ? what would you lose ? put some light on awareness on that and then you'll be able to eventually make some change or something to solve/get at peace with those inner contadictions, also just puting some light on it and realising that it's not that important (the Why nots) might solve them on its own without changing anything

[TheAvatarState]

@assx95 go study somewhere else, maybe like a library. Don't take your phone with you. 

Addictions are often triggered and perpetuated by location and certain devices. Break out of the rut and do something way different. You'll feel a lot better too!

[Space]

7 hours ago, assx95 said:

I am preparing for competitive exams which are in 2 months, and i am getting distracted, watching porn and youtube, and i can't stop doing it. In a certain way, i have this subconscious desire to fail. This other side of me, which wants to keep getting pleasure all day is overpowering me. What do i do? I need this to stop. 

A few ideas:
Set specific chunks of time to study and put away ALL distractions. Do this either by being disciplined about it (e.g. put phones and computers away, or close windows/tabs on computer etc) or by forcing it (e.g. studying in a cafe, giving your phone/computer to someone else, putting app blocking software on your devices). 

With these chunks of time, usually atleast 1 hour, set a timer and do not stop working until the timer goes off. Tell yourself that when you finish the session you can have a break and relax for a bit. Then do another chunk of work, and repeat. 

Write a 'Done list', rather than a 'To Do list'. Every time you do a chunk of work or whatever you need to do, write it on the list. This keeps you motivated and often makes you want to do more so you can write more on the Done list. Much better than having a long list of stuff To Do, although To Do lists can be excellent as well. Leading on from this, you can write a clear plan or list of everything you need to do. Make it absolutely crystal clear what needs to be done. Having just a bunch of work to do but not knowing exactly what that will be makes you procrastinate. It's kinda like a fear of the unknown. 

Having a good schedule and routine is also helpful. Aim to do a certain amount of work each night and give yourself fully to the work, knowing that when you've finished working hard you can relax and watch Youtube etc. 

Last piece of advice is JUST DO IT. There is no cure for laziness other than just sitting down and doing the work. Stop expecting it to be easy and pain free. Stop avoiding the suffering. Successfull people learn to work and get stuff done particularly during those times when you don't want to do it. 

[Matt23]

George Leonard discusses homeostasis in his book "Mastery".  He suggests several different way to work with it.

• "Negotiate" with it.  Don't  bull your way through it, nor completely let it over take you.  
• Develop a positive social network of support.
• Develop a regular daily routine.
• Dedicate yourself to life long learning.
• Be aware of how homeostasis works.

Perhaps also ask why your doing these behaviors.  

What survival function are the behaviors serving?  What aspect of yourself are they trying to survive?

 

 

[Stevo]

I am in a similar place.  I don't get it.