Dark Knight question for advanced Insight Meditation practitioners

[Meditationdude]

What are you dark knights like in terms of symptoms? How long do they last typically? Curious bc I’m going through quite a lot this year and they’re always random. (For reference I meditate for 1yr day, 15 min self inquiry before - 4 years solid no misses) 

Mine last anywhere from a half a day to 2 weeks with the average being 3-7 days. 

Symptoms are intense:

- suicidal thoughts (normally I’m extremely happy) 

- depression, anxiety 

- irritability and anger (rage sometimes) normally I’m laid back and emotionally mature  

- no sex drive (normally I can’t keep my hands of my girlfriend) 

- severe lack of motivation and energy (this one destroys me as I’m super athletic and ambitious)  

Does anyone else have reoccurring symptoms or anything weird that happens like really odd behavior? 

Edited September 13, 2019 by Meditationdude
Words

[Matt8800]

@Meditationdude Yes, I went through the dark night about 3 years ago and came out the other side to equanimity. Its done with radical acceptance of all. That means the grasping of the ego to purpose, meaning, life dreams and goals and including physical survival have to be resolved. Let it ALL go and accept. What you will find is that only the present moment exists and that is where you must live. You will find, and create, love and beauty in the present moment as that is the only place they truly exist. When you can do this, you will make it to the other side. According to old Buddhist texts, this is the first stage of enlightenment. 

for more info, see https://alohadharma.com/the-map/the-dark-night/

The book Mastering the Core teachings of the Buddha was instrumental to me in making it through. I would highly suggest it.

When you make it to the other side, you will find it is more than worth it

Edited September 13, 2019 by Matt8800

[Meditationdude]

@Matt8800 yes! I just finished Mastering the Core Teachings by D.Ingram last week. Such a great book. Was really difficult for me to read though, that’s a detailed book to say the least. 

so you only went through the DK once? Or it took you about a year to work through? 

Also your advice I think is spot on. I’m going to write it out on my whiteboard in my bathroom. Thank you ??

[Matt8800]

45 minutes ago, Meditationdude said:

@Matt8800 yes! I just finished Mastering the Core Teachings by D.Ingram last week. Such a great book. Was really difficult for me to read though, that’s a detailed book to say the least. 

so you only went through the DK once? Or it took you about a year to work through? 

Also your advice I think is spot on. I’m going to write it out on my whiteboard in my bathroom. Thank you ??

@Meditationdude It lasted about 3-5 months but I went at it hard core. Whenever you have a negative thought or emotion, tell yourself, "nothing matters.....except the present moment" and totally feel it. Let even the attachments to your own life completely go and lock yourself into the flowing present moment. 

Letting go of your life will feel like you are dying and there is nothing left....no hope, no future, no nothing. Dont reject those feelings. Allow those feelings to completely permeate your being and then again tell yourself "nothing matters....except the present moment". This step here is why so many people think enlightenment is difficult to achieve. Its not complicated; they simply lack the courage to completely let go of their life as they know it.

Turn your attention to love and beauty in the present moment. Love is something you do and put out at this stage. Looking just to take in love and be loved is something for the unawakened. 

Love and beauty are connected...they come together. Lose focus on one and the other one will go too. Look for beauty in the extreme where you may have previously overlooked it. Look at  trees, the sky, etc and really feel it completely.

Focus on love by treating your GF and others with kindness, patience and love despite your internal condition. just focus on what you put out; not what you get or feel.

I went through the second dark night about a year later and made it through that. It was difficult but wasnt as crushing as the first one. it was just a deeper level of acceptance and letting go that will not be apparent until you get there.

If done correctly, you wont lose your motivation in life although priorities may change. As the Gita and Buddhism says, push forward in life with mindful "right action" but maintain detachment to the outcome of that action.

 

Edited September 13, 2019 by Matt8800

[Meditationdude]

@Matt8800 this is very useful thank you so much. I feel a lot better just implementing your words in the present moment right now. I’ll keep at it ??

[Matt8800]

5 minutes ago, Meditationdude said:

@Matt8800 this is very useful thank you so much. I feel a lot better just implementing your words in the present moment right now. I’ll keep at it ??

Feel free to message me any time if you have questions

[Nahm]

@Matt8800 Beautiful ??

[Meditationdude]

@Matt8800

24 minutes ago, Matt8800 said:

Feel free to message me any time if you have questions

I probably will  

[Raptorsin7]

@Meditationdude @Matt8800  What is the dark knight? I'm doing self inquiry work right now and I've yet to breakthrough but is something I should prepare for?

[system]

6 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Meditationdude @Matt8800  What is the dark knight? I'm doing self inquiry work right now and I've yet to breakthrough but is something I should prepare for?

Read the page in the second post. 

You are already preparing.  

Edited September 23, 2019 by system

[Raptorsin7]

@system Thanks i just read it. I can't wait haha

[Thewritersunion]

So is me this year and last going through a “sadness,” every December to September being a “Dark Knight” Cycle?

[Esoteric]

@Thewritersunion Do you really expect a qualified answer on such a vague post? 

[ivory]

Yeah, I went through it as well. Mainly what you would be giving up are all your ideas of what an ideal life or an ideal you would like like. As Matt said, this is a stage or radical acceptance. Basically what I had to give up where my stage orange values. Shifting into green is what alleviated the symptoms for me. I also second the bit about love. Lastly, what ended up being really important for me was a strong meditation practice, daily exercise, and time with healthy friends. Where do you see yourself on the spiral?

[Flowerfaeiry]

I feel like I’ve been in a dark night for the past six years. I have moments of happiness, but then am plunged back into the dark. I’m fighting it hard because I don’t want to give up.