Why are most people assholes who give no shit about helping others?

[CreamCat]

I'm not exactly a role model for personal development. But, I at least give some shit about helping others and make some efforts to not offend others.

Most people start hating me very quickly if I don't start helping them soon.

Many online community admins treat their communities like their personal possessions and are quick to block people who even slightly bother them instead of acting for the greater good of the communities.

This can be love in the sense that people couldn't do better, but it's not that difficult for people to do better than now.

 

Edited September 13, 2019 by CreamCat

[pluto]

Cause they unconsciously hate themselves which blinds them from truth of oneness.

[d0ornokey]

Could it be that you may be unconsciously causing it? 

Try getting to the root 

Edited September 13, 2019 by d0ornokey

[Nahm]

@CreamCat Imagine waking up tomorrow morning, with zero knowledge or ability to make any sense of any thing. No language, no expression, no know-how even to eat or use a toilet - absolute zero knowledge. Somebody better damn well love you, or you will die. 

But, one who can be talked about, is not one who died, but an infinite combination of infinity. 

Even with food, warmth, shelter - without love, you die rather quickly. 

So, there are many folks in this loveless limbo. Enough to survive. 

What’s relevant, pertinent, is - what say you?

Is this a dream?

Is it real?

I?

?

 

Is pain as experienced by a human, infinite?

Is suffering (psychological pain) by a human, infinite?

Why, or, why not?

And, what’s on the other side of that wall? (Assuming there is such a thing as an “other side”?)

Your love, love, is infectious, and permeates reality. 

- literally is creating it, right now. 

[Michael569]

Because instead of being called "assholes who don't give shit about others" these people need help themselves first. It is a nature of human being to want to help each other. For everybody that means something different and the means by which they do it can be radically different yet the motive is the same. The ability to help is directly proportional to the amount of love and education the person has recieved in their life. 

A lot of people, however don't have the basic stuff under control. Poverty, lack of education, disease, bad marriage, bad parenting, childhood abuse, addiction due to lack of fulfillment. In order for one to grow to a stage where they can become loving and sharing they need to have the basic shit covered. 

3 hours ago, CreamCat said:

Most people start hating me very quickly if I don't start helping them soon.

Because that's the way they have been brought up. They cannot delay immediate gratification. It is often not their fault and they need your help to get away from that kind of thinking. 

3 hours ago, CreamCat said:

Many online community admins treat their communities like their personal possessions and are quick to block people who even slightly bother them instead of acting for the greater good of the communities.

Another demonstration of unconsciousness. Such behaviour is to be pittied not frowned upon. This person is causing themselves so much suffering it is sick. 

[TheAvatarState]

@CreamCat you have to understand they are deeply unconscious and aren't assholes by choice. It becomes impossible to hate them when you see this. 

Instead of wishing certain online communities were more conscious, maybe you should consciously choose to spend less time there. I remember your post about reddit, so it seems you've already thought about this. You can still enjoy unconscious communities (which still have some good content) if you can get to a point where you don't have a negative emotional reaction. For me, it took time and a lot of observation accept these things, and it's still a work in progress. Don't hang around places that trigger you, because you tend to project your disappointment back on the community as a mechanism so you don't grow yourself. 

[Bodigger]

I think what many on here are talking about is empathy.  I fall into this trap of why others don't do something they 'should' be doing which 'I' think is good for them.  When this happens to me, I tell myself that the world is perfect and then let it go.  Not easy......but simple nonetheless.

[Bill W]

6 hours ago, Michael569 said:

A lot of people, however don't have the basic stuff under control. Poverty, lack of education, disease, bad marriage, bad parenting, childhood abuse, addiction due to lack of fulfillment. In order for one to grow to a stage where they can become loving and sharing they need to have the basic shit covered. 

 

6 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Because that's the way they have been brought up. They cannot delay immediate gratification. It is often not their fault and they need your help to get away from that kind of thinking. 

 

6 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Another demonstration of unconsciousness. Such behaviour is to be pittied not frowned upon. This person is causing themselves so much suffering it is sick. 

 

Some good stuff there Michael, thanks for this. I've been messing with my own peace of mind for years because I get agitated by other people's unconscious behaviour, whilst conveniently overlooking my own. 

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

Because some people are so deep into their own shit that can't afford to look for the next person. 

[Knock]

Because most people are not as privileged as us.

Most people don't have the privilege to sit around learning about personal development and spirituality, as they don't have the space to overcome their own survival and physiological needs. 

I live in a multicultural area in Australia. Yet, I only see privileged white people go to yoga? Why? Because they were fortunate to come from wealthy family's and obtain an education that provides them enough money and mental space to make such choices. They were born with their lower needs already halfway met on Maslow's hierarchy, which enables them to focus on personal development and giving back. 

If you were born into a jail, would you care about helping others, or focusing on getting yourself out?

These people are deeply hurting, and don't even know how to help themselves. Instead of pointing the finger, give them a hug. Instead of anger, have compassion. Most of all, have gratitude for all the abundance in your life that has enabled your cup to be overfilled and the means to give back. 

[CreamCat]

2 hours ago, Knock said:

I live in a multicultural area in Australia. Yet, I only see privileged white people go to yoga? Why? Because they were fortunate to come from wealthy family's and obtain an education that provides them enough money and mental space to make such choices.

Money is not a bottle neck for most people. Most people can definitely pay for personal development.

Most people cause a lot of misery in their own lives. They are the cause of their misery.

They might need more tough love. Sometimes, I say harsh things to my sister to snap her out of bad habits that are killing her.

Love is not always nice. Some people are even going to stab you in the stomach when you hug them. Be careful with who you hug. For example, a crocodile doesn't care whether you love it. It's going to chew your limbs anyway. A mule doesn't care whether you love it. It's going to spit in your face if you bother it with love.

Edited September 14, 2019 by CreamCat

[Knock]

That is a good point @CreamCat , you show great discernment in your objections and are great at getting to the crux of the most important points!  

I guess I should elaborate better on what I meant, it is not the money necessarily that I am talking about. Incoming short novel below:

Seekers do not choose to seek. They are chosen from events unbeknown to them. This is a gift. This is a privilege. 
Just as I didn't choose to be born in Australia. To be given the opportunities I have, the upbringing I did, is a privilege. 
To be alive in the 21st century, where I have rights and freedoms, opportunity and education. I did not choose this, it is a privilege. 

Now imagine if I was still born in Australia, but in a tribal indigenous community. My environment would be different, my community and influences would be different, my values and behaviour different. Note that the probability of me finding Actualized.org and discovering ways to personally and spiritually grow would of been abysmally low. And this would have nothing to do with a lack of trying and a lack of caring. 

How then, can I judge an indigenous man for having low consciousness? How can I judge others for caring about their own survival?
Can a man born a millionaire judge those that are poor? We are the born millionaires here, not in money, but in our lifes path giving us this opportunity to expand our consciousness, and our minds being ready to accept the gift of the opportunity.

Now is an incredible time to be alive. There is more opportunity than ever to raise our consciousness. But note, that one does not choose to raise their consciousness, life chooses it for them. The mind has to be ready. But the mind being ready does not come from a choice, from effort or lack of. It is a mixture of culture, environment, experiences, suffering, opportunity and a million other things, that renders the mind willing and having the means to seek.

That is the privilege we all have here. We are the fortunate ones to be blessed to be bitten by the spirituality bug, and been given the ability to raise our awareness. Most people are not consciousness enough to have this capacity. Our job is to help them, so that one day, they too can fill up their cup and use it to fill up others. 

1 hour ago, CreamCat said:

Money is not a bottle neck for most people. Most people can definitely pay for personal development.

Most people cause a lot of misery in their own lives. They are the cause of their misery.

I agree that money is not the bottleneck, and that people create their own misery. It breaks my heart seeing the pit of suffering people spiral into. They just want what we all want, to survive and be happy. They are misguided, being lead down the wrong path, so they don't know any better and they are trying their best. 

If we too have been down that path, but then found a better way, the compassionate thing is to help them in the best way we can. And this is where wisdom and understanding comes in. 

Some times the best way may be tough love, which is a masculine form of compassion. Other times a more feminine approach may be necessary, depending on who you are dealing with. This is what separates a great teacher from the ordinary. A great teacher thinks beyond themselves and teaches at the students level, receptivity and understanding. An ordinary teacher just teachers how they would of teached their past self. (Note, this is how most teachers start off, often in a 'old self-hating' kind of way, which leads to self-hatred and anger instead of compassion and acceptance.)

Regardless on how you choose to teach, it is important to note that the delivery is just as important as the message. If the student is feeling attacked, they will tense up and absorb nothing. This is why debates without mutual respect cause more harm then good. You learn best when you like the teacher and like the subject. You'll notice the best teachers are often the most admirable, because people like some aspect of them that they wish to have in themselves. 

Hope that clarifies more than it confuses 

Edited September 14, 2019 by Knock

[CreamCat]

1 hour ago, Knock said:

Hope that clarifies more than it confuses 

I like your cat more than it clarifies.

[Leo Gura]

Survival

[StephenK]

@Leo Gura You know, you could write a bot to post that exact reply to 80% of questions on here. And the bot would be right ? 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, StephenK said:

@Leo Gura You know, you could write a bot to post that exact reply to 80% of questions on here. And the bot would be right ? 

And the other 20% we could cover with:

Mu

[flowboy]

This is a guaranteed offender but I tend to say that empathy is a luxury

The bulk of people are tired, scared, needy, or some combination thereof. They could be way more empathetic if their needs were met, they had time to relax, and their worries were soothed.

On the other side of that, look at what people will do when they can't feed their families. From hunting rare animals to extinction, all the way to cannibalism!

[CreamCat]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Survival

Survival of the meanest.