How to be giving with out being used up and abused..

[Will]

OK so I have worked out that I can give unconditionally by enjoying what I am doing rather than keeping score however. I am suffering from two problems..

1. I have more and am constantly being asked to provide for those that cant provide for themselves

2. I have no one to goto for advance friendship.. So few people have any clue about enlightenment path and or even awareness..

 

How do I stop from being sucked dry... I have money and time and skills.. and people have there hands out and expect me to give unconditionally but give nothing.

I know I need to find a mentor But I want to know what to do with my normal friends.. I feel like I cant talk to them about anything  I feel very alone even when im with them.. I enjoy the relationship at a basic level but just feel alone and isolated..

 

thoughts??

[JPaulo]

Why do you feel you are being sucked dry ?  

Do you feel like people are taking advantage of you?

OR perhaps you want your friends to reciprocate the time and effort you are putting in. 

You are in a great position to help but also you are not obligated to and certainly don't expect anything back. The moment you expect is the moment you give your friends conditions on how they should interact with you. 

 

Regards,

- Just an input of a random on the internet

[Spiral]

It’s a phase, it will end eventually.   

[Knock]

@Will

Unpopular opinion incoming. We choose our abuse. 

Through the way we conduct and treat ourselves, we show others how to treat us. Offering handouts and helping others is great, if their appreciation is sincere and unconditional. If it is not, they are just using you.
If you are unsure, try saying "NO" a few times. If they have no problem with that, then they love you unconditionally and are good friends. If they do have a problem with that, they you know that they don't love you for you, they love you for what you give them. I.e. they are leechers, the worst of friends. 

Those with high self-esteem don't stick around and get abused. They know they are better than that, and find better friends, because they are confident in their ability and know their self-worth. 

[Leo Gura]

On 9/10/2019 at 7:15 AM, Will said:

How do I stop from being sucked dry... I have money and time and skills.. and people have there hands out and expect me to give unconditionally but give nothing.

This problem should largely auto-correct itself once you have a strong sense of life purpose. A man grounded in his life purpose is to busy actualizing his bold vision for the world to have time for such nonsense. Most of your time, skills, and money should be going into your LP, so that little is left over for others to leech. Of course occasionally you can generous, but overall you're not working to help random people, you're working to actualize your vision for the world (which is a more coherent, deliberate, and powerful way to help others). Think of your life purpose as simply an organized and very strategic way of helping elevate the most people in the world according to your unique skill set. Which means that if you're not doing that, if you helping people randomly on their terms, you're actually hurting the world overall.

For example, I don't need to worry about helping every random homeless person I see on the streets because my time is better invested in shooting videos and helping people via my business. My business was designed in such a way that it already incorporates that desire to help others.

In other words, help others, but on your terms, not on their terms. Then you don't get used by vampires. Be deliberate about how you want to help people. Don't leave it up to chance. Don't wait for a homeless person to approach you.