Recognizing escapism

[oMarcos]

1 hour ago, Truth Addict said:

Yes I can.

The question is: What do I really want?

My point is, as long as you need others for survival purposes, the risk of being deluded is more high. Imagine you go for a date, and the girl appeared with his big brother just to rob you. See,  as long we relay on others, we'll always have a risk. That was a dumb example, but no matter how non dual we get, the other's  can guide us into their own self delusion process. We are only safe from delusion alone,  and even that is already Hard...

Edited September 9, 2019 by oMarcos

[Truth Addict]

@oMarcos

What does survival have to do with delusion? Survival is completely out of anyone's control.

Do whatever you want, you don't know what's going to kill you or increase your survival.

The notion of "safety" is the illusion.

Edited September 10, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Dwarniel]

Can you debate this on PM? You're hijacking my thread ?

[Salvijus]

This drama you create in your mind or this restlessness could be your sankaras coming out. Maybe just wait it out, probably It's just a phase. I don't now. 

Anyways. Something else I wanted to ask. Where do people get to stay?any vipassana centre? What are the requirements? Thank you

Edited September 10, 2019 by Salvijus

[Surfingthewave]

@Dwarniel Sounds like it is the call to adventure. Pack up your stuff and venture forth. You are having a Luke Skywalker moment. This life is very precious and short, if you're getting the calling, go for it and ignore everyone else. You're not escaping, you're listening. 

Edited September 10, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Truth Addict]

1 hour ago, Dwarniel said:

Can you debate this on PM? You're hijacking my thread ?

Sure.

But notice this: 'my thread', 'others hijacking it', 'debate'. Those are not the case for me at all, it's just your imagination.

What I was saying directly applies to your original question, and what I'm saying now does too. Your fear/concerns are holding you back, but there are no guarantees in life. Life is a gamble, and you gotta take risks. The tricky thing is that by not deciding to take a risk, you're actually also taking a risk, not avoiding it. I think the second-guessing process can be traced back to victim's mentality, which, fortunately, can be worked on.

Life is open for you. Do whatever you want.

Now I'm done with this thread.

Edited September 10, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Dwarniel]

5 hours ago, Salvijus said:

 

Anyways. Something else I wanted to ask. Where do people get to stay?any vipassana centre? What are the requirements? Thank you

I know they need long time servers in sweden. I know a guy who has served for 19 months or so in Germany as well. You can stay for free as long as you work. Maintainence work, administration, cooking etc. Meditate at least 3 hours a day + follow code of discipline / the presepts

Edited September 10, 2019 by Dwarniel

[enderx7]

I feel for your situation. Don't get me wrong I think most people are great especially when you manage to be truly present with them, but I feel like if I connected to even just one other person who's conscious growth and evolution was their guinuine priority it would make this whole thing less frustrating and more fun.

My only advise is only use this or any of the above advice to guage your own intuitive reactions, because theirs no right answer. I've tried a little of every flavour with total immersion each time. I've done the hedonistic thing, the ascetic thing, the psychedelic thing, the information amassing thing, the achievement thing, the I'm special and the I'm humble thing. Try so hard you feel like your gonna explode and no effort at all thing. None of them are right or wrong although the more balanced it is the more sustainable and less likely to devolp major blind spots.

The main thing I learned is to follow your passion, doing that guinuinely  seems to flow much more effortlessly, if the passion is gone one day then follow where it leads next and I believe if you do that geniunely and honestly that is the fastest path to growth.

But whatever do it with full involvment as counsciouly as you can and try to have as much fun regardless of what it is, anything can be enjoyable if you do it with full involvement. But be honest about where your at on that, the main difference between a meditater that effortlessly puts in long frequent sits and quickly grows and the one sits the same amount but struggles and strains for long years but barely progress 's is that one guinuinely is passionate and enjoys it the other doesn't but forces out of intellectual egoic idefication with a idea. Anyway I wish you effortless flow and growth, good luck

Edit: I'm reading a book right now that NAILS it when it comes to practices that maximize effortless growth that combine with literally anything especially normal lay person life called desire: the tantric path to awakening, that someone recommended to me from this forum If your interested.

Edited September 11, 2019 by enderx7

[Dwarniel]

@enderx7 Thank you so much for your time ❤️ ill most def check out that book! 

[enderx7]

@Dwarniel  no problem, just getting to interact with other people through this forum who genuinely care about this stuff is the reward on its own 

[Dwarniel]

@enderx7 @enderx7

So true ?

[crab12]

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I love my job, it's creative and good money as well... A dream job.

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I love my friends, but ...

Even though you have seemingly good life there are still some things missing and you don't feel content.

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And with all the grinding to pay the bills

The 9-5 grind is a problem because you don't have enough time to do the things you really want.

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Me being "weird" becomes so highlighted when I'm back at home, nobody understands what the fuck I'm interested in and love

You appearing "weird" to other people is not the main concern, it seems, but the relationships you do have are superficial and you don't have anyone to connect with on a deep level.

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I'm just getting this feeling in the back of my mind that this is me trying to escape.. 

That's because you are escaping from your problems in some way, otherwise you wouldn't have this feeling.

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Maybe leaving to work hardcore on meditation and consciousness is just what I need.

Trying to figure out what you "need" is not a good way going about it. It will lead you astray. The right question is: what do you want?

Some practical pointers:

• Can you reduce your workload and monthly expenses so that you would have more time to do what you want? I reduced my workload to 20 hrs / week for half a year before coming to a firm decision that yup this is what I want and quit my job altogether. If you have a well paying job you could probably easily get rehired if you wanted.
• Imagine you had really deep connections with a few like minded people right now, would this improve anything? If it does, maybe you want to concentrate on finding these people.
• When you were away on long retreats did it click feel "right"? It's hard to explain, once you find the right thing it just feels natural and flows.

[Mouchabourta]

Honestly, I can completely relate to how you feel.

I've felt this way most of my life. I still remember actually being 14 and wanting to just disappear to live in a monastery in Tibet.

Hopefully, my experience with this will be beneficial to you.

To me at least, there is something suffocating about western civilization. It's like this weight constantly on you, or more like the air is heavy. I can tell because I travel a lot and whenever I find myself back in Dubai, Europe... it's like suddenly I'm slightly less comfortable (I'm European btw, in case it sounds like I'm just not from Europe). I find it hard to describe this feeling, but you might know what I mean. I know this for sure because the difference is clear as day when I'm traveling throughout Europe compared to Asia. I spent 2 months last year in a little village in Nepal doing volunteer work on a farm, while I stayed with a local family. Those two months have been some of the best in my life. They were extremely beneficial for my consciousness work. The focus wasn't even that, but the environment itself was the catalyst for growth. I think it's the simplicity of life there. When I say simplicity, I'm not saying that they have it easy, I'm saying that we have increasingly complicated everything in the west. This includes interactions with others. We have also lost our connection to nature, which has lead to life feeling so much more mechanical. I found that the chaos of these Asian countries is strangely lifelike and in consequence, has made me feel more alive while there.

Now, about whether you should leave or not. I've personally done it 5 times, which has lead me to live in about 6 countries. All I can say is that even if it is escapism, I really do not care. I don't think anything has brought me more joy than discovering a whole new country, meeting new people, and resetting everything to 0 (it's never really 0 though because what you've experienced will always stay with you) just to start building something completely different. I recently lived in Denmark for a little over 6 months and now I'm on here looking for recommendations as to where to go next. It wasn't that easy at first because I struggled a lot with trying to do what my parents, friends, and society expected of me (exp: go to uni, get a job and work towards holidays where you can finally travel...), but as soon as I let that go and just did what I wanted to do it was like a weight was lifted. At that moment I stopped caring about whether I was going to be financially okay, or how people viewed my decisions because I was gonna do it anyways. Now, this might not be the case for you. I would recommend you do what feels right for you.

Welp, this reply is getting quite long...

This is the last part I believe. 

When it comes to friends and relationships I'm the same as you. I have tons of amazing friends that I, unfortunately, can't talk to or have a proper conversation about these things with. Out of all my friends, there is only one I can share this aspect of my life with. When it comes to friends though that hasn't really bothered me too much. It's more the case of romantic partners that bothers me. I love to share things with the person I love. Being unable to share something so important to oneself with the person you so deeply care about can be extremely painful, being judged for it by that person is even worse. So, I understand how you feel. All I can say is that if they're not on the path to expanding their own consciousness then it means it just isn't time for them yet. No matter how much you try and make them understand they're not ready yet. They need a realization (in french we call it 'prise de conscience'). The best way I found to help them, in this case, is to lead by example while showing them that you love them no matter.

Well, I hope I've helped you a bit. Wish you good fortune and just follow your intuition 

Now that I'm re-reading myself it sounds more like me just sharing my own experience than giving advice :')

Edited October 9, 2019 by Mouchabourta