What's the most effective meditation technique?

[howdoistopobsessing]

I have bad Pure-O OCD. Basically, I have a morbid fear that God/the universe will make every girl reject my attempts to kiss her, either because it wants me to be lonely/sad/miserable/for fun/sadism, so I'm terrified that if I actually start meeting women and go for the kiss, and get just rejections, I'll start believing it's actually true and that I'm destined to be alone. Also, I can't start new habits because almost every month day year combination has a number that I fear is permanent bad luck (4 and 9 (Asia) and 13), and what makes it bad luck is either God/the universe or many people believing it which I fear can give it negative energy. I have no evidence for or against any of this so I have no idea how to solve it. I'll do basically anything to get rid of this. I don't think they're delusions because I don't believe in them 100%; I'm just afraid of the possibility that they're true. I've tried the Art of Living's meditation and breathing techniques and didn't feel anything. I desperately need something that will actually work.

[AlphaAbundance]

@howdoistopobsessing 

• Experiment and test to see if these fears are true. If god/universe truly is doing this sadistic shit then this will be verified and if it isn't the case (which seems most reasonable and most likely) then you will confirm that these fears are simply thoughts.
  • Approach those females and test that thought
  • Start your practice and test that thought
• The alternative is staying stuck fearing these scenarios never knowing if they are true
• Also it takes a consistent habit of meditation to start to see the benefits

[howdoistopobsessing]

That's what I definitely need to do but I "need" a backup plan so that if the fears come out to be true, how to live happily anyways if I don't have personal evidence that any lifestyle habit/modification can make you happy if you lack intimacy.

[Peo]

I hear a lot of great things about kria yoga these days

[howdoistopobsessing]

@AlphaAbundance forgot to mention you. I'll research more about Kriya yoga.

Edited September 7, 2019 by howdoistopobsessing

[AlphaAbundance]

@howdoistopobsessing Firstly, clarify what exactly it is your afraid of. Is it only when you go for the kiss that girls will "reject" you or is it whenever you talk to them? If so you have likely talked to a female in your life so it has to be the first. So go down the steps of specifying what exactly is it that god/universe is stopping you from doing. As for starting the practice, which practice is that god/universe will give you "bad luck" doing, is it concentration, meditation, self-inquiry, exercise or what else? What is it by "bad luck", meaning is it that the practice won't work or something?

Then when you specify what exactly you are afraid of lets consider if for some reason it happens to be true. You would first practice acceptance on this random limits created by the universe and find ways to go around it

• If you somehow can't kiss females then just never kiss females and find other ways of physical intimacy and fuck them.
• If you somehow can't do meditation/practices/habit on specific days, find which days you can or find other practices (There are plenty of different methods to the same end goal)
• You would maximize your life regardless and if you are seeking enlightenment then you find out that you are the universe creating these random limits and stop it. But at that point you probably won't care

But forget all that because you will never need it because there is a 100% chance (rounds to 100) that these are thoughts/visualizations created in the mind.

[howdoistopobsessing]

@AlphaAbundance yeah, I can approach and talk to them sometimes and it goes fine, but it's the kissing and sex that I'm so afraid will be rejected. It's all the practices that you listed. Yes, that the practice won't work, and that I'll possibly even get injured or go insane or something else bad. What do you mean find other ways of physical intimacy and fuck them?

[MuddyBoots]

You are caught in a classic vicious circle, classic fight/fight/ freeze reaction. Your anxieties affect your confidence, which is a turnoff to girls which makes you more nervous about approaching them. You come across as needy and timid. I've got the same problem with job interviews. I forget the title, but Leo's done a video on why women go for certain men. The trick is to let go of the outcome and talk to girls as if you don't care whether they fancy you or not, easier said than done when you're a bag of nerves I know! That's just for the initial contact, once you start a relationship of course you need to care about her    Have you tried Letting Go meditation to practice letting go and embracing the present moment? That may help with your other superstitions with numbers too. Learn to let go of emotions which are dragging you down, and keep practicing meeting girls - accept rejection in good humour, pick yourself up and carry on. Your fears may keep coming for some time, but gradually lose their strength and hold over you if you can untangle this vicious circle. Good luck and don't lose hope! 

Nick. 

[Rigel]

You have to craft your own. My method might not work for you.

Awareness.

You can do nothing, you can ask questions, you can do yoga, you can sing.

The buffet is huge but don't get lost here. The goal is to feed yourself.

[AlphaAbundance]

@howdoistopobsessing Well we have clarified the fears to 

• Being afraid of rejection when going for kissing/sex
  • If somehow these fear happens to be true you can just find other ways of physical intimacy (cuddling, head, etc)
• Being afraid of injury, insaneness, negative outcome from practices
  • If somehow these fears happen to be true you will find other ways to reach your goals (psychedelics, kundalini awakenings, etc)

If somehow these fears turn out to be true you would find a way around them or accept them (because if the god/universe wants this then there is nothing to do but accept it, also you will learn how god actually works as your journey progresses ). But since these fears are not true and simply the mind conjuring bullshit the way to go is testing them out. Since we have now entertained what would happen if these happen to be true (which they are not) you have two options

• Let the fear control you without ever knowing if its just your thoughts, without any substance in reality (99% of fears)
• Do what you fear to test if god/universe is really limiting you and figuring out the fears are just your mind

[howdoistopobsessing]

@AlphaAbundance I like where you're going, but those other forms of intimacy could also be "banned" by God. Regarding your second bullet point, psychedelics I fear could be way too dangerous for me (bad trips that could either temporarily terrify or permanently damage me), same with Kundalini which could be very dangerous from what I've read, and maybe God either doesn't want me to get enlightened, or Christians are right and enlightenment doesn't exist, or anything else. All these issues obviously stem from not knowing "for sure" how God works, because of obsessively fearing all the negative possibilities despite not having any personal proof for or against them. It's very complicated, like my ego (if it really exists) created a prison in me, or maybe I'm the only conscious being and no one else in conscious and God is some kind of semi-sadistic "scientist" or aliens or anything. I'd do the Wim Hof method (did it for two days but then read about cases where people got permanent tinnitus and I noped out) or holotropic/Shamanic breathing, but I'm afraid of negative consequences, so I'm completely stuck and paralyzed. I have no idea how/why all this even happened. It's so crazy that I feel like I'm the only one dealing with this. I guess there's some kind of way overblown fear/negative energy in me for some reason. I saw Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji of the Art of Living in person, and meditated with him, but felt no difference or change at all.

[AlphaAbundance]

@howdoistopobsessing I think I understand you immensely. The confusion, the indecision, the uncertainty, the fear, the paralysis, the stagnation. Not knowing which path is right, not wanting to commit down the wrong path, the differing of perspectives, contrasting sources saying to do various things. The fears on reality being sasdistic, god being an alien, enlightenment being wrong. I also thought I was the only one.

There is a solution however. Regarding the confusion --> journal, research, comtemplate, post to these forums (what you are doing now), etc. 

Also it seems as if there is the issue of fearing that god is limiting you and also the issue of being afraid of negative consequences of a path and indecision..

• For the issue of god limiting you
  • After researching/learning/trying to understand, the next thing is just testing these fears to see if they are true
• For the issue on indecision
  • I recommend watching Leo's video on "How to deal with confusion"
  • I also recommend taking action regardless of these fears
    • The only thing you can do is take action based on what you know is the best path at the moment, there is no way to know the perfect path right now
    • Know for every practice, even meditation, even self-inquiry, even exercise there will be people who claim it is bad/negative, you just have to use your best judgement to choose whether you are going to do it or not. But don't let your ego trick you into inaction do something

Regarding the Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji of Art of Living meditation in person, it is rare to have some profound effects after meditating for a short period.

I recommend tomorrow you start 1-3 practices. It can be meditation, wim hof method, approaching females, etc. It can be from the list at the bottom of this link https://www.actualized.org/start. Determine to do these practices for a month (or less if that seems daunting) and see if anything improves (Spoiler alert: It will)

Edited September 8, 2019 by AlphaAbundance

[howdoistopobsessing]

@AlphaAbundance thank you so much for your input. The most immediate problem with starting tomorrow is that there are 3 9s in the date, and if I start on Tuesday, the second day is the 11th and being the second day, add a 2 and you get 4. What I could do is start them for a few weeks, then when I come across a "good" date, I quit them for a week before, and then start them again. I know I'm crazy; sorry .

[AlphaAbundance]

@howdoistopobsessing These are superstitions but they can be handled later once you have dived deep into doing the practices. Let's focus on god limiting you/indecision/confusion issues and developing some foundation first. As long as you start the practices soon do whatever you have to do.

I recommend starting the practices tomorrow and then restart them on a good date if necessary. This will give you an experiment to see if starting on a "bad" date really changed anything for the time being. If its really challenging then just start on a good date.

And later on you can start another practice on a "bad" date like lifting or exercise (clear/visible and often quicker benefits than non physical habits) to see if you really see no improvements on "bad" dates.

[IndigoGeminiWolf]

It may be hard to see or believe, but we came into duality/limitation for a reason.

Maybe we wanted to experience not having everything we can imagine.

If everything you desired manifested, would you truly be happy?

We left the "god" state for a reason, at least temporarily.

It's all about experience.

[howdoistopobsessing]

@AlphaAbundance  ok, I'll figure out which one to do. Now I'm debating whether I should follow the paleo, vegetarian paleo, or the Ayurvedic diet that was prescribed to me two months ago. The doctor said that I have too much air and space and that I'm "vata", some Sanskrit term. I don't know if I should eat meat again or not because it seems like I can get all my nutrients from non-meat sources, but I don't know.

[howdoistopobsessing]

@IndigoGeminiWolf  "If everything you desired manifested, would you truly be happy?"

I strongly think yes because once you've lived in scarcity for so long you can hardly function normally.

[AlphaAbundance]

@IndigoGeminiWolf Lmao as god I would imagine a solution to hedonic adaptation

[Joker_Theory]

50 minutes ago, AlphaAbundance said:

@IndigoGeminiWolf Lmao as god I would imagine a solution to hedonic adaptation

What if God did? Your just in a different parallel universe

[Joker_Theory]

On 9/9/2019 at 3:24 AM, howdoistopobsessing said:

@IndigoGeminiWolf  "If everything you desired manifested, would you truly be happy?"

I strongly think yes because once you've lived in scarcity for so long you can hardly function normally.

What If you lived in a perfect universe were you have everything and you get so use to it that it gets boring after a time. Like if you lived in Infinitive love for eternity that you got so use to it that you can't feel it anymore. Maybe God wants to forget how it feels like just to feel it again.

That's what could be happening to us and one day when you become God we feel that again!!