Why Do People Talk Behind Your Back

[IVONNE]

Hello

recently, i have been going through some challenges and now that i came out of it. some people just really loves to talk on the phone to others and display you on the things you've been going through. how im i suppose to react on this?

I dont see what will they get out of it? But by do it. Is it for them to feel special or is it to humiliate you.

 

[charlie2dogs]

1 hour ago, IVONNE said:

Hello

recently, i have been going through some challenges and now that i came out of it. some people just really loves to talk on the phone to others and display you on the things you've been going through. how im i suppose to react on this?

I dont see what will they get out of it? But by do it. Is it for them to feel special or is it to humiliate you.

 

Ivonne you will discover in life that only a very few people have any integrity, dignity, and honor.  Sometimes its best to not let others know your  personal life, because most of them cannot and will not handle it with any respect for you.

[abrakamowse]

1 hour ago, IVONNE said:

I dont see what will they get out of it? But by do it. Is it for them to feel special or is it to humiliate you.

I think is for both reasons, they are being motivated by their emotions, feelings, their wrong thoughts, etc.

[Donald]

It's because their whole life is based on gossiping , who's over who and status . Judgemental people will always lack integrity.  Just use those people's behaviour as a list of things that you should not do or behave .

 

[Man in the Mirror]

sometimes people like to talk down about others to make themselves feel better. it's a sign of their low self esteem but they dont realize it.

[IVONNE]

@Donald you right thanks 

[NelsonPalmer]

Because they are cowards and cannot say anything face to face! Don't pay attention to them!

[LiakosN]

Take nothing personally. Let them speak behind your back.. So ? 

 

[CalamityJane]

This is awful; but I used to gossip. I did. 

I gossiped out of fear. (most wrong behavior is based in fear or some attachment - I'm beginning to think this more and more) 

I gossiped because I feared that I wasn't interesting enough. I feared that being "real" with my (read facetiously) "friends" would cause them to view me in a different way - and I was not yet comfortable with that light. I was attached to this image I had built of myself: wealthy, athletic, private school, stay at  home mom. My friends expected certain behaviors and I delivered them. I was also bored and under stimulated - I wanted to stir up a connection with these other women..... I can't even remember WHY anymore. I also feared silence with these people. Silence meant something sinister then. 

Oh my god - seeing that written down is disgusting. It's true though. They gossip to build themselves up and continue their lie.  See it for what is it and do not feel one way or another about it. 

Peace!

[Anna]

On 11.5.2016 at 5:53 PM, Man in the Mirror said:

sometimes people like to talk down about others to make themselves feel better. it's a sign of their low self esteem but they dont realize it.

Exactly! They are not confident with themselves and try to put you down. I experienced it a lot myself. Don't take it personally, it will always happen.

I tend to confront people especially with a smile on my face. It confuses them extremely. And sometimes I just ignore it.

[gmc24]

        i learned that people are uncomfortable with themselves so they won't be open and authentic. I think it causes an unconscious trigger along the lines of stress and most people are horrible with working through conflict so they need to find people who will  give them consensus and vent their stress. It become's a problem on top of a problem. Temptation is all around.  I have had my moments when I was like that in my teens. But I find it sad that its equally a struggle and stress going face to face to someone as hard as it is talking behind their back but I think there are light and dark reason's why we/and other people do it. i hope one day as humans we can find more distinction on this topic. so we do not have to lose people for the sake of growth, grief, because our minds change and personal interest. I think when we're in the heat of the moment we become one sided and our aim goal is to be right and understood.

       Something you choose to do can totally open a can of worms on your and the other person's inner conflicts.  I feel like ive been embarking on never ending journey for the past few years dealing with stuff like this. Even worse when your more willing to work through the conflict and the other person doesn't really care to do so.  In a  recent situation with someone I have taken the face to face all out approach and it's been a not stop battle for over two years working out all the inner conflicts and grief that arise to get to a meeting of the minds win/win situation. To me this approach actually heals but requires so much faith. Sometime's it just might be better to do nothing at all. 

[Pelin]

Maybe very personal for me, and it might not apply to everybody, I've recently found out that I gossip with only certain people. And these certain people are the ones I can never talk about deep stuff like feelings, fears, likes, ideas, spiritualism and so on. Then the conversation goes on like what our mutual friends are doing, any failure we can enjoy like a divorce or a failure at work or a humiliating moment. How disgusting it is, but unfortunately this is what happens when I chat to people I can only talk about superficial stuff. To gossip to fill in the void in a way.

[Chocker]

The question is not why they talk, the question is why you care?
As they say small minds talk about people,
you cannot control that, what you can control is how you represent yourself
if someone heard the stuff they´r talking about you it is up to them to believe it or not,
Your job is to be yourself and get rid of those who are not capable of judging you by your character but by what others say.