The absence of life purpose

[Fuku]

I always feel huge resistance trying to find a life purpose. 
Maybe it's because of depression, maybe it's because I haven't engaged in the right path that would feel natural to me.

That being said, I wonder these days : what "happens" if you just surf life consuming other's creations without having a particular life purpose other than basic survial (in the traditional sense) needs yourself?
Of course, nothing litterally happens, you probably just live like "most people".
But spiritually, is being curious and having fun fulfilling enough? Or will I always feel the lack, the missing part that I envision when I try to project myself in this type of situation when I achieved nothing in particular?

Personal backrground : I'm asking this because I've always loved art but I'm objectively bad at the ones I like, and I can't really produce anything, just rough, unfinished stuff for myself. I know there is a process to fix this. But doesn't the fact that I still didn't produce anything being middle-aged mean that I believe art is some sort of life purpose for me when  I actually just feel a connection and feed of it? Not by being an artist (people always conflict on the meaning but say an artist is someone that uses art, no matter the result) myself?
Thing is, I also feel a resistance to letting go and only being a consumer even if a truly love various forms of art and I want to experience a lot more.
Basically, I'm stuck in the middle of those 2 very rough paths, and even  trying to envision a middle way where art would just be for fun irritates me. So my thoughts about this are going in some sort of a loop and I can't seem to find a way out.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. I just feel really lost and I'm hoping a fellow human has any idea or experience that could spark a new way of thinking, or anything else.


 

[TheSomeBody]

life purpose is like enlighment , it is always known but you ignore it