My deepest understanding of awakening and consciousness.

[yangmilun]

Is any possible that I only watch Youtube that I also could reach the level just like the people who took phychodelic trip or meditation?

If I can't reach the level, ok then, it's fine. But I still write down my understandings here with my honest. 

There is two things that I am so stuck.

1. "Everything is connect to each other"

2. "Conciousness is everything."

So I try to question myself, I cannot get the answer maybe it's because I was not practicing conciousness enough. On the same time, I also doubt all I hear from outside. I keep ask outside "why you say that?" "then what?" 

I totally believe that, Yes, you can create anything in your mind, then you can make it in everyday life, chair, building, computer, paitning, anything. that's infinity, fine. 

So the thing we see, is what we create in our mind. but there is one thing, the original stuff, like stone, dirt, we can't create it. we pick it, then we make the thing what we have in our mind. So Conciousness is not everything, is based on what the earth has. I stuck here. I think this is my deepest understanding yet. 

Until Leo says in his video, neural stuff, our brain, everything in our body could boil down to the original stuff. ok then, let's go to deeper one. 

Our body is made by very very tiny stone, and became a body, then to see a big stone on the ground.

Body=Stone. why we can move? why those tiny stone in our body can move? Why everything can move? 

What Leo's voice is always keep in my mind, "you are me, I am you, you are god, I am god, you are everything" 

I don't really think he is insane, I only think, why he keeps saying that? what kind of answer that he got then made him happy?

Because it's conciousness. (Not yet, not yet, you have to doubt me that do I totally understand what Leo understands?)

Maybe I just copy what he says and just want some people to jealous me?

I have to say that even I get the answer, it doesn't mean I already out of my ego. 

then my answer is, it create itself to experience itself. just like I see the stone. It's just a lots stone to see a stone. 

I see my mum, me and my mum, just like two computers that triggered by present moment situation. 

Your left hand touch your right hand, you touch others, you meet animals, you stand on this earth, you in this universe, is one thing. 

The conciousness made it. made it waves, made those tiny stone become different stuff and touch each other. 

And sometime I want to share this to family or friend, I feel meaningless. I feel alone, but this alone is feeling good. 

But why do I wirte down here? because I think my ego is powerful rather than this answer. 

Ego says, "so what? you still have to keep your life going."  "enlightenment finally will tell you need to back to the life."

and main reason that I write this down is because, I don't really experience the answer yet, and I feel ego is so real. 

I cannot see that world behind the conciousness.