Quitting my business for spiritual growth.. or not?

[DaneV]

I`m 33 years old and ran my own business for over 6 years. Over two years ago, I became burned out which led me to seek for answers. After some therapy that didn`t "work", I stumbled upon non-duality and spirituality. A few months later, I attended a psilocybin ceremony and had my first "waking experience".

These experiences motivated me to really dig into spirituality and from that moment, it was my main focus from morning to night. In the meanwhile; my company started bugging me more and more. Managing over 35 employees is a stressful and draining experience, even for those who are gaining more clarity due to "the path". Besides, even after gaining some major insights, my burnout from working like a mad man for years was still not over and I expect it not to be over anytime soon if I don`t take real rest. This is not something I can fix in a one week holiday.

My business started to increasingly feel  like a distraction and I felt the urge to drop the company alltogether. Partly due to the fact that I could rent out the company building and have enough savings to not having to work anymore for at least 10 years if I live a humble lifestyle (unlike currently), the descision to quit arised. I wanted to immerse myself full-time into truth seeking because it felt and feels to me it`s the only sane goal a person can really have when it`s still living in "the dream". The idea was to do some volunteering work or  pick up a less stressful, parttime job to keep in touch with society during this period. And maybe, maybe one day be of service to others that are starting their spiritual seeking. Not as a teacher, but as a facilitator for psilocybin ceremonies, for example.

This descision felt like the best in my life for months..

Now, the "final" date, 1-11 is coming closer and I`m noticing something in me that is trying to back off from that descision I made earlier. It`s telling me to just keep the company (I can still reverse the process of quitting) and just take it a little easier (which I tried before but was impossible, atleast until now).  I`m really struggling to find out what to do at this point and due to contracts, my "point of no return" is nearing.

The voice that is telling me to keep the company may be an anxious ego wanting to stay in the comfort of it`s luxurious life, its relatively secure income and social status. Or maybe was it the anxiety telling me that I should quit the company and "run" toward spirituality. The ego-games can be so confusing 

Edited September 6, 2019 by DaneV

[Space]

@DaneV Clearly this business isn't what you want to do, so why waste any more of your life on it? What do you really actually want? Or what do you not want? It seems what you really don't want is to keep going with this business, even though it sounds quite substantial and other people are reliant on it.

The fact that you have 35 employees is definitely a major consideration. I'm not sure you can just let them off because you want to go do something else. I would suggest handing the business over to someone else, but then you wouldn't have the building to rent.

Is there any way of taking up a much smaller role within the company, so your still getting some sort of income (unless your savings can cover it) but you're not managing loads of people and maybe you only work a few days a week and/or work from home most of the time? I feel like something like this would be more appropriate, rather than just dropping and closing the whole thing. You gotta survive after all.

It would also mean you could test a more spiritually focused and more humble life, without having to drop everything. Don't underestimate homeostasis. Most people can simply not just go full monk mode in a short space of time. You also gotta think more seriously about what 'full time truth seeking' would actually entail. Are you actually deadly serious about? Imagining yourself doing meditation full-time is vastly different than the actual day to day experience of it. Then again, you may be quite spiritually inclined and not have any trouble with it, I don't know. 

My intuition says, keep the business for now. Re-arrange your position to give yourself more free time to self-actualize, but likely also a much lower income. Test the waters. 

[allislove]

Agree with @Space

I would try finding a way to keep the company and have more free time.

 

[ajasatya]

@DaneV How do you want to remember yourself on your deathbed?

If running your business is making your life feel like it's not worth living, then why not quit? It's not like you wouldn't be able to build another company at least as good as the one you're running right now.

I'd sell my share and use half of it to live in a very low cost style, just for spiritual development, like an ashram in India or a Zen monastery in the USA. The other half would be useful to rise again, like a phoenix, after you feel like you've healed whatever you need to heal.

You sound like you're not married and do not have kids. It makes things even easier. Make good use of your circumstances. Most people cannot afford such choice and will die without ever doing something so peculiarly different.

[allislove]

Half jokingly / half seriously:

 

If you can't decide to keep the company or not - just flip a coin. 

 

Anyway, nobody on this forum can answer about you better than You. If even you can't decide on this, then just flip a coin and decide once and for all. Nothing is random in this Universe, including flipping a coin.

Edited September 6, 2019 by dimitri

[Lowerplanedweller]

Many persons feel that a person who spends his time soul-searching is more holy than a merchant who Hawks his goods at the market.

A highly spiritual person is actually one who has found a comfort zone that exist somewhere between the 2 extremes.

Quote from

Harold klemp

Edited September 7, 2019 by Lowerplanedweller

[AlphaAbundance]

@Lowerplanedweller Simple. Hire someone to work the business for you. Hire another employee as CEO. And own the business as passive income. Everything you want is possible. You can have everything.