Living with toxic and undeveloped people!

[jerrypua]

I recently moved and I'm living with a co-worker, his girlfriend and another co-worker.

I used to live independently paying just for a room but for logistical, personal and pick up-training reasons i decided to move here when the opportunity presented itself to me.

I won't talk about my second co-worker because he's a nice person and not toxic and negative as the couple. I don't want to judge or stigmatize them but I actually need advice on how to deal with these people.

I met this guy a year ago but with the passage of time he has become more and more negative, especially very sensitive, you can not even make a joke because he gets offended and you hit him right in the ego. Then you have to have tact to have a conversation with him and that his ego does not get offended by what you say.

He's always defensive. He has always felt threatened and as a victim but lately I feel that he feels threatened by me and tries to defend himself by attacking me first, he throws me nicknames in the middle of a conversation or while I'm talking to my other co-worker and his girlfriend; especially when his girlfriend is around us, the kind of guy who tries to act macho to impress his gf or other people.

Personally i never react emotionally with him because I know how he is. Yesterday something funny happened. 
After work the 4 of us went out to eat at a restaurant we got some bears also and we were having an awesome time (except him). I was laughing with the two of them and afterwards he starts throwing me nicknames out of nowhere trying to diminish me and I just said in my head "I'm going to have a little fun with this kid and his ego for a little while to calm him down".

So after the next few minutes I destroyed him just with words and sarcasm, almost like Russell Brand when someone tries to "make fun of him" in his interviews lol.
What hurt him the most is that his girlfriend was present and witnessed it all and when we got to the house, he couldn't hide his anger at me.

So the next day I got home and they both started trying to make a conversation asking me questions by calling me by nicknames, they saw that I don't even react to what they say and they keep and keep calling me that and I was like whaaat? hahaha I didn't even have time to stay with them because I'm currently running my business and studying Leo's Life purpose course so I don't have time to waste my energy with such a negative people.

As I said before I'm trying to find my life purpose, reading books, meditating, going out to practice my game (pickup), running my business and the least I want is to waste time with negative people.

What I'm going to do is try to spend as little time as possible with these people and focus on my purpose and my dreams but my question is:

When I get to be with them or we match at lunch time for example, how do I deal with these people?

Thank you!

 

 

 

[universe]

Well its best to not spend time with him if you dont enjoy it.

On the other hand there is always something to learn. About yourself. See what side of you takes out this side of him. Your story about "destroying" him in front of his gf makes me think that you are a bit confrontational on other occasions as well. Dont you think if you are more friendly with him these childish fights could come to an end?

Also no more bears, they can kill you

[jerrypua]

That's what I'm trying to do, spend as little time with them as possible, but we work together 2 days a week and also the days that we coincide in the food time (sometimes).

As a matter of fact I always try to be kind and friendly with him, but sometimes he suddenly begins to insult me in indirect ways.

I think the final solution is to try to spend as little time as possible with them and focus on what really matters.

I haven't had a drink for 6 months at least. I almost never drink, but there's nothing wrong with it once in a while.

Edited September 4, 2019 by jerrypua
+ inf

[ajasatya]

@jerrypua Compassion.

Make no mistake. Unfortunately, our society is filled with insecure fools who are scared of their own lives. You are dealing with immature people who hadn't had the chance to have a serious breakdown yet. It's a matter of time.

Look at them in the eyes and stare at their souls. Watch how they struggle to have the bare minimum satisfaction in their lives. They depend on feeling greater than people around them and this is a formula for endless suffering.

[CreamCat]

21 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

Make no mistake. Unfortunately, our society is filled with insecure fools who are scared of their own lives. You are dealing with immature people who hadn't had the chance to have a serious breakdown yet. It's a matter of time.

Why would God stuff the world with such insecure creatures?

21 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

Watch how they struggle to have the bare minimum satisfaction in their lives.

How satisfied are you generally?

Edited September 5, 2019 by CreamCat

[ajasatya]

15 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

Why would God stuff the world with such insecure creatures?

How satisfied are you generally?

There is no God out there doing anything. God is every secure/insecure creature.

For the past 4~5 years, I'd say that my levels of satisfaction have been oscillating between 95% and 100%, a lot closer to 100% most of the times.

[CreamCat]

25 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

There is no God out there doing anything. God is every secure/insecure creature.

It seems God is a weird creature. Mental degradation and instability happen when you squeeze infinite being into finite beings. It's like failed biological experiments in zombie movies.

If there is no God out there doing anything, who designed those creatures, then? Creatures don't just bootstrap themselves from scratch.

Edited September 5, 2019 by CreamCat

[CreamCat]

14 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

For the past 4~5 years, I'd say that my levels of satisfaction vary from 95% to 100%.

What's the secret sauce?

[jerrypua]

@ajasatya Yeah that's a fact. Ego tries to feel good feeling that it is greater than other people.

What would you do in my situation?

I don't wanna fall into their negativity, I don't wanna fall into their thinking system, I'm in this path of expanding my consciousness and that's why I can see what's happening around me, but sometimes I obviously fall into subconscious acts and react emotionally, even though the majority of the time I'm following my own path.

Edited September 5, 2019 by jerrypua
Word correction

[CreamCat]

57 minutes ago, jerrypua said:

I don't wanna fall into their negativity, I don't wanna fall into their thinking system, I'm in this path of expanding my consciousness and that's why I can see what's happening around me, but sometimes I obviously fall into subconscious acts and react emotionally, even though the majority of the time I'm following my own path.

Spend as least time as possible with them. Cut them out if possible.

[ajasatya]

@jerrypua Ask them how they're feeling and if everything is alright. Talk about what matters and don't make room for useless conversations. You can't just hangout with such people. Instead, be a monk to them. Show compassion and sympathy.

[ajasatya]

7 hours ago, CreamCat said:

What's the secret sauce?

The secret sauce is a mix of tenderness, service, humility, contentment and wisdom.

[tsuki]

@jerrypua I'd say it depends on the time investment you are willing to make.
Some people are not developed enough to recognize the value of letting go and mistake it for weakness.
Maybe they were weak themselves and other people bulled them in the past?
Now, they learned to pick on people they perceive as passive to release the stored aggression in ways they were taught...

While seeing through suffering of others certainly eases your own, you must realize that shrugging it off because you are 'better' only creates trauma that you will have to deal with later on. Retaliation can only be used as a short-term solution because it also takes a toll on your well-being.

I'd say - if you're moving out soon, then keep destroying him.
Otherwise - you will have to make some new friends.
 

[Meditationdude]

@ajasatya @CreamCat secret sauce is psychedelics. These moderators never really tell it like it is. They did lots and lots of psychedelics to grow this much. If you haven’t had a spiritual breakthrough yet then it’s really hard to heed their advice and won’t click for you  

Yes of course personal development work and spiritual practices but to get to the understanding these people have you must do psychedelics.