How do i know im ready for a psychedelic breakthrough?

[Justincredible76]

So ive had one two tab dose that blew my mind with love (although probably just a portion of infinite love) and also have alot more smaller dose experiences under my belt. I also had an experience where i could feel the fear of death arise which could have led to a bad trip but i knew how to deal with it. With this in mind, this gives me the confidence to take my dosing to the next level. 

I observe my actions, patterns, and importantly my habit loops, where after a period of growth i cyclically fall back into old traps but with a little more clarity than the last time; so i experience my old loops in a new light and see how they effected me perhaps making it easier to change. But i feel like a part of making massive growth would be to have a literally reality shattering experience, where everything falls apart and simply must be recontextualized, and within that harbors the growth i seek. If thats the case, i think it may be wise to take a high dose of LSD, and see where it takes me. 

Previously i was told my lack of experience would mean a high dose would only serve to my detriment, which was most likely true. But how exactly do i know when im ready for the change? What preparations or prerequisites must i create before i can handle a psychedelic breakthrough? I have five tabs right now, and most likely i don't want to take all of them at once just so i can have more for another time, i wont be able to get more for a while i predict. 

[Justincredible76]

To go a little deeper, i mentioned i don't quite want to take all five tabs at once. This isnt just because im scared of a bad trip or im not ready for it, but the bigger part of why im resistant to that idea is because i want to save it to have for another day i case i think to myself “i wanna have a trip today.” But to me it almost sounds like im saving the tabs simply because im feeding into my brains neurotic tendencies to desire excessively. If thats the case, and it also turns out to be the case that im ready for a major breakthrough, why shouldn't i just take all 5 tabs? But with that said i dont really know that i am ready for it so ill have to wait on that decision. I think its really important that i figure out what i can handle without falling back into fear at the sight of something bigger than me and regressing, so how can i gauge that for myself? Also what else do you think i should do before a big trip? Any rituals i should consider? Any of leos videos i should watch before or during? Perhaps some methods like the neti neti method? Anything that you think will help me figure out how prepared i am or anything that will assist my trip in being more productive post here for me please, thank you its really appreciated .

[OctagonOctopus]

Contemplate very deeply about how one can integrate this new found understanding of love. Contemplate all areas of life that one can bring love to. Visualize vividly oneself bringing that love to those areas in the present moment. The next trip can always wait, the more integration and prep work you do before hand the deeper the next trip will be.  

[Donald]

@Justincredible76 Listen to your heart. 

 

[enderx7]

let me recontextualize what your asking and it may answer itself. Your asking me if your ready to die. Take that pretty seriously if your going to take high doses with the intent for truth, you will probably get it, this mean your going to come face to face with your end. How to know if your ready?  How strong is your desire for truth or god, how much are you willing to surrender everything, seriously ponder, If god offered you the truth in person but demanded you surrender your life and sanity completely into gods hands could you let it go? If you take a breakthrough dose, with strong intent you will receive what your asking for but after you take the dose thats that no turning back, the ultimatium will come and you will be asked to surrender everything and if you refuse and try to hold on then you will probably take a trip to hell and back. But also nobody is ever ready to do it and you will never know how to navigate it with surety, the real question is if your ready to make to leap of faith and surrender completely

[Justincredible76]

@enderx7 the first answer that pops into my head is yes i want to give up everything, and i really do mean it. But is it possible im lying to myself? How can i know? Would the only way to truly know if im serious be if i have a feeling of desire for truth so strong and powerful that it pervades every thought every moment and every action? Because if im not preoccupied with a task or distracting myself with entertainment im thinking about how i can get closer to truth every moment im consciously running my thoughts. 

[Justincredible76]

@OctagonOctopus the trip of love was a while ago now and i think i have forgotten the specifics of what that feeling entailed in terms of what it means for other aspects of my life, but i still remember how it made me feel. It was sorta like the scene in the wizard of oz where the witch melts away, and my being analogously melted into this powerful feeling of love and appreciation for this present moment. 

[enderx7]

6 hours ago, Justincredible76 said:

@enderx7 the first answer that pops into my head is yes i want to give up everything, and i really do mean it. But is it possible im lying to myself? How can i know? Would the only way to truly know if im serious be if i have a feeling of desire for truth so strong and powerful that it pervades every thought every moment and every action? Because if im not preoccupied with a task or distracting myself with entertainment im thinking about how i can get closer to truth every moment im consciously running my thoughts. 

@Justincredible76 Wonderful! If your thoughts and undercurrent of desire has begun to obsess with the divine then  its basically all ready game over execpt for the time it takes to play out,  however its not going to feel like that of course . But if what you say is true then between the madness and ecstasy of desire for the divine, and the pain of awareness of your ignorance, your already helplessly enslaved to this process as it intensifies. How can you know for sure? Because you will jump and nothing will stop you.

Nothing I or anyone else says will really matter it would only add or subtract a little time. Once this process has begun it is inevitable you yourself cant even stop yourself, just try. The pain of ignorance cannot be unseen and if you were to even resist the suffering would grow and grow until you become wild with desire and come right back, If you were really stubborn you can even maybe holdout a lifetime or two. But once you have tasted the divine and it you, it is only a matter of time and how much youd like to resist and suffer, but the goddess will have you and you it at the end of the day.

But if you focus on surrender then this  is a glorious dance with the eternal goddess and you will relish being consumed piece by piece, this dance is the very apex of existence. In fact your experience reminds me alot of my own my first taste of a aspect of the divine was unconditional love, also on LSD.  But also from experience you will probably get what you seek from the psychedelic path but that wont be the end only the start, It is like a window it will show you what is possible but it wont let you live there. Making it a living breathing reality will be your next task, and for that the psychedelic path will be insufficient alone you will probably need to supplement by taking up some kind daily sadhana and id also suggest a strong devotional practice because it makes the dance much sweeter  

Edited September 4, 2019 by enderx7

[Justincredible76]

@enderx7 what i think i really need is to get more motivation to do spiritual practice, because even though i get these thoughts that i need to do more practice and get out of this unaware state, i often find myself distracting myself with playing games with friends, and mostly because i feel sorta guilty leaving them even though they want to do things with me. But then i end up spending so much of my time only on that. Maybe to combat that i just need more practice and naturally ill gravitate towards that, i dont know really. What do u think?

[enderx7]

@Justincredible76 I think it only truly works if it grows naturally, so just plant the seed and nurture it over time just like your instinct says. Just start with whats enjoyable, dont force it, try out a few different forms of meditation and yoga etc to see what fits to you, either synchronizes with your strengths that you enjoy and bring you closer to the divine and  or that bolster the areas you want to improve, but once you find a few practices stick with them for awhile. Its like digging  wells, you get to water with a few deep holes not a dozen shallow ones. But its important to not force it and try to bring a spirit of devotion and passion to everything you engage in but especially your spiritual pratice/sadhana. So its best to let it grow naturally start with what is enjoyable if thats 5 miniutes of breath watching meditation then great, any amount of time is infinitely more then zero and gets the seed planted.

Also dont separate your "mundane" desire from spirituality, desire can be embraced and offered to the divine because there is nothing other then it. So when your hanging out with friends, playing video games, or whatever you are drawn to try to bring the light of consciousness to it, drink it up fully, it too is a dance with the divine, notice how it makes you feel, why you enjoy it, every little detail, and relish it or it if no longer has any passion then follow the passion elsewhere. As you bring the light of consciousness to anything and offer it to the goddess/god/divine it will transform on its own over time when done genuinely, even simple things like breathing or things you generally dislike like pain. Just try it with breath, notice and enjoy how it feels moving through your nose, filling your lungs moving your diaphragm and stomach, but outside of your practice its important be spontaneous and not force it, focusing on enjoying awareness of the process will cause your desire to naturally lead the frequency to increase.