One major cause of my misery

[barcos]

Self Growth vs Self acceptance and self love?I am already a perfectionist with myself.I am hypercritical about myself and am never satisfied or pleased with who I am and how I’m living my life.I learned that to stop this I must revisit childhood wounds that were never attended to and healed,and self guide/self parent myself to a place of acceptance and understanding to allow myself to move on.The mental strategy of this aims to identify,understand and flip or prove wrong certain deeply rooted subconscious beliefs.Any help from those who have faced this problem of not accepting yourself and trying so hard to change due to self hate and outer circumstances. Such as how I’m not good enough, as I am.(Mostly here On is just me writing out my self inquiry.)That I have to be something or someone in order to love myself or be loved.That I have to please and or accommodate others in order to bring about their well being and so that I could feel good about myself.as I’m writing this I feel that my need to please everyone and need to be accepted by everyone came from my relationship with my mom.Circumstances made me want to fulfill my mother’s needs and ensure her well being.Idk yet.But what I do know is that I’m always finding myself in a state of pretense when around people and can never be myself.It works,I attract a lot of people.But it’s not really ME that’s attracting people.Its a facade and I know it.I hang out with people and can’t be fully present with them because I’m constantly worrying about showing my true character.I want their approval,acceptance and validation.I don’t care about your clothes or your shoes or your girl or how cool you are.I want connection with people who are truly aligned with who they are.Fear is holding me back from being my authentic self.

[OctagonOctopus]

Do both, self growth and self acceptance, kind of a paradox but one must accept/ love/ understand who they are now to get to who they want to grow into. Keep going deeper into these inquiries. Deconstruct the hate, construct the love. Keep unwiring the jungle of beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, and rewire into higher values. Keep remaining aware of the need one has for approval/ validation from others, accept that some people will disapprove of ones authentic side and that is ok. Everyone has their own path start walking down yours. Then those people who are aligned with who they are will manifest. 

[dpvifa]

Forget fear. Have faith.