Making Peace With the Loss of a Loved One

[Natasha]

Hello community,

Two days ago my beloved dog Max passed away. He was at home with us and died peacefully in his sleep.

Max was the best companion I could have ever asked for and loyal loving friend. He brought so much joy to our lives and he knew he was loved by us as well.

He was one month off his 11th Birthday and had a congestive heart decease since 2017. When he was first diagnosed, they gave him 6 months to live. I took him to a holistic vet and changed his diet, started to give him quality natural supplements, using essential oils, etc. This added 2 quality years to his life that I'm very grateful for.  

I'd like to start a discussion about ways you know to cope with grief and a mix of other emotions when a loved one is gone. 

I took it harder than I expected. I knew the end was near and I braced myself, but when the actual reality hit me and even after some time has passed, I still find myself feeling sad, cornered by grief, and crying. I miss his sweet presence so much.

I'm well aware of the pain-body, the ego, and conceptual reality. I'm allowing the energy flow through me and the healing to run its course. I spent time meditating and contemplating again on the nature of 'death' and I would love to hear your comments and perspectives on this subject  of losing a loved one as well. 

Thanks for all your support and kind words <3

 

 

 

[ajasatya]

@Natasha Suffering from death of beloved ones is very different from unconscious sufferings that we "treat" with spiritual practice and teachings. I'm sorry, but you're better off feeling all the pain you have to feel right now instead of trying to go numb, run or avoid by any means.

[dpvifa]

Max only exists as an idea in your mind now, for now is all that exists! Just kidding. Existential humor can be healing during times of sadness =)

My childhood dog died when I was 18. She came into my life at age 10. At the time, she was my best friend. I had never cried so much in my life. My ability to maintain peace of mind has since improved greatly. I exist so presently, I cannot really miss anything from before, as infinity is laid out so infinitely and beautifully before me at all times.

This ability to "make peace" or "cope" stems from appreciation and gratitude of what is, the present moment, now. If Max comes into your consciousness, dwell not on how sad it is that he is gone, but how great it is that he was (and still is, if you imagine him). Gratitude is the antidote to any suffering. I am now in a state of consciousness where nothing can harm me, because regardless of circumstances, I am grateful for the colors, I appreciate the sounds, any memory is welcome and appreciated... at the most fundamental level, I am grateful to be. There is no greater bliss beyond that.

It has been said that "the truth will set you free." It is true. Whenever the shadows of sadness and depression appear, become conscious of truth, and the light will wash away the darkness. Have gratitude for being.

Cheers =)

[Natasha]

23 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

@Natasha Suffering from death of beloved ones is very different from unconscious sufferings that we "treat" with spiritual practice and teachings. I'm sorry, but you're better off feeling all the pain you have to feel right now instead of trying to go numb, run or avoid by any means.

Yes, I'm letting myself feel deeply whatever emotions arise. I'm consciously not distracting myself from the grieving process.

[Natasha]

@dpvifa Thank you for sharing and the insights, much appreciated.

[Aeris]

I can't hold those kinds of topic with people true sadness, they give me true tears.

True pain always sponge in me even through words.

let the flow run, don't tame your emotion, it's ok to cry for now

 

I understanded once that if I could be immortal,

without my loved ones that would be pointless.

 

RIP to your dog, hope you'll feel better soon.

Edited September 3, 2019 by Aeris

[dpvifa]

@Natasha Much love <3

[Natasha]

@Aeris Thank you <3

[DrewNows]

8 hours ago, Natasha said:

I’d like to start a discussion about ways you know to cope with grief and a mix of other emotions when a loved one is gone. 

I took it harder than I expected. I knew the end was near and I braced myself, but when the actual reality hit me and even after some time has passed, I still find myself feeling sad, cornered by grief, and crying. I miss his sweet presence so much.

I used to frown upon or even look down on the idea of “coping” but I’ve come to realize how inevitably necessary it is to experience

when I think about what it actually means to cope or grieve after the loss of a loved one, I feel it is the allowing for a transformation of negative energy-pain,suffering,sadness, grief, loss,heartbreak- into Love, or perhaps the art if letting go 

It’s all love in disguise, loss = remembrance, acceptance = gratitude, cycle of life = love 

My favorite ways to cope have been listening to sad music, movies, writing letters to loved ones, and being alone, sometimes in nature 

 

 

[Natasha]

@DrewNows Thank you <3

[Salvijus]

9 hours ago, Natasha said:

I'm well aware of the pain-body

Why brakeup is so painful

 

[Natasha]

@Salvijus Yes, I feel too as though a part of me was ripped off. There is a void now that can never be filled again with anything or anyone else. 

Thanks for sharing the video <3

[bejapuskas]

@Natasha Love ?♥

[studentofthegame]

For many of us (me included, and i went through this a year ago this month) the loss of a pet is so devastating because they are a family member, not just a ‘pet’.

On top of that, we find our animals so pure and loving and that adds a layer of grief because the bond we have with them is very unique.

The good news is that you recognise you need to grieve and are doing so. I tried smothering my pain with prescribed medication, and it took a very slight edge off my pain, but once i ceased the medication the pain i swerved hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t escape it. Time and allowing yourself to have a cry when you need to is the only way to feel better.

You have my sympathies, because it is so upsetting.

 

 

[Inliytened1]

@Natasha So sorry to hear about your loss.  i am sure he was a beautiful loving soul and seems so from the cute picture.  

The way i would cope is through tears of pure Love.  And knowing that he still lives.  He lives within you.  He will live on forever in you.  Take heart in that. 

I know this sounds like something out of the Lion King. But there is a lot of wisdom to be found from that movie.   I balled watching it again in theaters

But he lives within you.

[Natasha]

@studentofthegame Thank you <3

[Natasha]

@Inliytened1 I've been crying a lot these past few days, a mixture of love and sorrow. I allow this raw pain do its thing. It's so damn hard. And yes I feel his presence here within me. He will live on forever in me. Thanks for the comforting words <3 

[Inliytened1]

3 minutes ago, Natasha said:

@Inliytened1 I've been crying a lot these past few days, a mixture of love and sorrow. I allow this raw pain do its thing. It's so damn hard. And yes I feel his presence here within me. He will live on forever in me. Thanks for the comforting words <3 

Love you

 

Edited September 4, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Natasha]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Love you.

I needed to hear that <3

[Forestluv]

My go-to passage when I have a broken heart: