The Pain Of Self-actualization

[ArabiaNytes]

Leo's new video, "Grasping the illusory nature of thoughts", hit home for me.

Thoughts imprison the mind and conciously mastering the hold on a thought(s) that have on the self allows one to break free of the mind.

Exploring the true nature of the Self, Mind and Consciousness is the realization of not knowing, thereby attainment of actualization in knowing that we don't know. 

The process of Enlightenment has always excited me. But the feeling of dread arises the more I think about the loss one must experience on this path. Is it enough to know that all that we are is not what it is to be? To have initially wanted to believe in a meaning to life, but then to realize that all this "meaning" is the illusion that is spun by the Thoughts of the Mind.  We long for meaning to give us a sense of purpose and yet to realize this truth is to realize that the purpose is to let go of the meaning that make-up our thoughts.

Meanings are an illusion. 

In all my experience of loneliness, I feel like I have never felt all the more as I do now....

I suppose I've always known the cost in embarking on this journey, but I was distracted by the thought that in attaining enlightenment, I could attain true content and happiness and a sound mind.

Another "thought" ruling my mind. 

Can't actualize without letting go of one's illusory construct of reality. Our reality is how we know the Self...the self is all we know. 

"Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind. To stay connected to our "reality" as we know it, and this knowing allows us to feel comfortable with meanings to live by. Or, to self-actualize and grow as a Being by learning to grasp the mastery of control by severing the hold of the Self imposed by the Ego. The problem with either route is that I simply go from feeling humanly lonely to complete and utter ultimate lonliness.  I feel like I cannot become an effective contributer in my future vocation if I cannot master this level of control, which is at the expense of becoming more lonely.

How can I see this conclusion of mine differently? I would really love some insight to this dilemma of mine...

 

[WelcometoReality]

This dilemma of yours is more thoughts. We love to create problems to solve. We feel good when we solve them. Like we are one step closer to the truth. That in itself is illusion. Instead embrace all emotions that come up. The loneliness cannot hurt what you truly are, it only hurts that which you are not. 

[Corte]

I was in your shoes after my first "little awakening/enlightenment". These are symptoms of becoming more aware than usual, but at this point your ego is still going full speed. It causes a negative misconception about this whole subject. It feels like you are at loss, and you wish you could do anything to go back to being ignorant and blissful. 

At this point, after "knowing" all, you will feel like there's nothing left to live for. What's the point? I'm nothing but a empty nothingness without a purpose! 

I smile as I type this because you are in for a very pleasant surprise as you continue down your path. You can't lose anything because you never had anything to lose in the first place. A "purpose" as you describe is something your ego needs to be motivated. When the ego subsides, you won't need a purpose. The very existence you are experiencing will be plenty purposeful. 

This journey doesn't cost anything. It will give to you more than your ego will ever be able to repay. There is simply nothing more than false beliefs to give up, which were worthless to begin with. 

You must ask yourself for the source of this loneliness. In what ways do you depend on others to fill emotional voids in your mind? When you have time to sit in peace and be alone, what thought comes first: I need to find someone to keep me company? Or Now that I'm one with my thoughts, what can I do to grow and improve myself? 

Before you delve into subjects relating to nothingness, enlightenment, purpose, and actualization, you must slow down. Take time to really learn more about yourself. Research things you are feeling in this moment. Learn how to overcome loneliness, no purpose, depression, negativity. 

After you overcome these hurdles, you'll have a great base foundation to really start self-actualizing. 

I promise you, there is nothing to lose. Logically, you have everything to gain. Don't feed into ego produced negativity. Lastly, understand that you can't understand. You're taking very deep and complex experiences capable of obliterating an ego, and asking what the ego thinks of it. What do you think it will say? 

[abrakamowse]

This is going to be a philosophical idea, I don't think it's true but it just came to my mind.

 

What if we are one consciousness? And we experience everything, the conscious part is the one that we see, feel, memories we collect to the physical mind and body, and the rest we experience it but at a subconscious level that we are not aware of, we are really unconscious of that experiences because the conscience decided to experience duality.

Enlightenment would be when we become aware of that and we experience oneness again. But probably this doesn't make any sense, IDK.

:-P

[charlie2dogs]

20 hours ago, ArabiaNytes said:

Leo's new video, "Grasping the illusory nature of thoughts", hit home for me.

Thoughts imprison the mind and conciously mastering the hold on a thought(s) that have on the self allows one to break free of the mind.

Exploring the true nature of the Self, Mind and Consciousness is the realization of not knowing, thereby attainment of actualization in knowing that we don't know. 

The process of Enlightenment has always excited me. But the feeling of dread arises the more I think about the loss one must experience on this path. Is it enough to know that all that we are is not what it is to be? To have initially wanted to believe in a meaning to life, but then to realize that all this "meaning" is the illusion that is spun by the Thoughts of the Mind.  We long for meaning to give us a sense of purpose and yet to realize this truth is to realize that the purpose is to let go of the meaning that make-up our thoughts.

Meanings are an illusion. 

In all my experience of loneliness, I feel like I have never felt all the more as I do now....

I suppose I've always known the cost in embarking on this journey, but I was distracted by the thought that in attaining enlightenment, I could attain true content and happiness and a sound mind.

Another "thought" ruling my mind. 

Can't actualize without letting go of one's illusory construct of reality. Our reality is how we know the Self...the self is all we know. 

"Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind. To stay connected to our "reality" as we know it, and this knowing allows us to feel comfortable with meanings to live by. Or, to self-actualize and grow as a Being by learning to grasp the mastery of control by severing the hold of the Self imposed by the Ego. The problem with either route is that I simply go from feeling humanly lonely to complete and utter ultimate lonliness.  I feel like I cannot become an effective contributer in my future vocation if I cannot master this level of control, which is at the expense of becoming more lonely.

How can I see this conclusion of mine differently? I would really love some insight to this dilemma of mine...

 

You said: The process of Enlightenment has always excited me. But the feeling of dread arises the more I think about the loss one must experience on this path.

If you are not enlightened how do you know that there is any loss in experiencing self realization?  Your statements are just thoughts they have nothing to do with the reality of self realization,  if you were self realized you wouldn't be saying these things.

and there would be no problems.

Edited May 9, 2016 by charlie2dogs

[abrakamowse]

The best thing is to continue meditating and waiting for the experience, anything we say is not going to help.

I think it was mooji who said that we (our ego) can't be excited by being enlightened, because enlightenment means the dead of the ego.

And the realization that there's no one to be enlightened.

But I am still talking from my ego perspective.

[Henri]

@ArabiaNytes Any companionship is long lasting when it goes from a place of wanting or lack, to contributing. You came into this world all alone. Even if you are born twins, you are alone. When you go from here, you are going to go alone. Do not try to run away from loneliness. It is a blessing in disguise. This is the time for you to be centred. Push away everything around you. You will find that you are the scintillating energy of the universe. You are the centre of the consciousness. You are the ultimate truth. And this loneliness is only one step away from realizing that. Loneliness exists because you want to grab something from outside. Lord Krishna has said in Gita, 'This world is impermanent and there is no fun in it; there is no joy in it. Look up to Me, merge in Me. Put your attention onto Me'. It is time for you to do this. Trying to fill your loneliness by looking for a companion or anything outside is not going to work. Know that you are on this planet to give something and then pack up and leave. Take nothing from here. I am not against you having a relationship or a family, or getting married. You can have your spouse or your companion, but not from the space of wanting something from them.

You can imagine a partnership where you are content and you are only contributing to the other person. Such a relationship will last longer. When you get into this knowledge, or into the central core of your existence, you will not feel lonely at all. You will feel that the consciousness around you is alive. You will feel so big that the whole universe, the whole world feels part of you. This is the way to get rid of loneliness. When you feel lonely, sit and meditate. Listen to bhajans or songs. Your beloved is within you. You just have to look inwards. Once you find the beloved within you, then you will find him/her everywhere in creation. Once you embrace your beloved, there is no loneliness anymore, anywhere, ever.

S.S.R.S.

[Isle of View]

5 hours ago, Henri said:

Once you find the beloved within you, then you will find him/her everywhere in creation. Once you embrace your beloved, there is no loneliness anymore, anywhere, ever.

S.S.R.S.