Staying Present While Interacting With Others

[mystic]

I am practicing mindfullness for a few months now. When I am alone it feels quite easy for me to stay fully present, but when I have to interact with other people it seems very very difficult. 

I am always thinking of Osho who said that one must not act mechanically and the truth is that when I interact with others I function fully mechanically.

Any advice on that? Thank you in advance!

[ChimpBrain]

Same here. I'm also interested in advice on this.

[Huz]

Same I could benefit from this. I guess try not to speak when your in the mind. Don't think of what your going to say the majority of the time, just let it come out. When you think, judgements etc might come in hindering you conversations.

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

 

[Huz]

so your awareness is fixed on their speech.

I used to do this. feels very weird so i stopped. Will start again  

Edited May 8, 2016 by Huz88

[Jani]

You just listen to them and stop following the mind activity which dictates what you're going to say next, it's the best thing you can give to the other person, your full attention. They will appreciate it. You can feel it when someone's lost in their own thoughts while you're talking to them and just waiting for their turn to say whatever, and it doesn't feel that good at all but it's really normal in everyday life. But then again when someone intensively listens to you and gives you all of their attention, you feel it and you appreciate it and when you're experiencing those feelings it's easier for it to become felt both ways.

[Corte]

I'm sure Leo has a lot on this topic and I'd love to hear what he has to say too. 

I've only been able to do this with no more than one person at a time. It is much easier to do it in nature away from other people or crowds and noise. This is when you can feel present while interacting simultaneously. It feels like the connection between the two is all that exists in the moment, and at the same time that moment is the world. Time passes so quickly around this experience. This memory helps to bring more awareness and blissfulness of the moment when the situation involves multiple people, unconscious people, loud noises and activity. Take little five second mental pauses to realize all that is happening. The structure you're in, location, people you're with, strangers you've never seen, time of the day/year. Just a few ways to bring mindfulness outward and see it not only internally but externally. 

[Consept]

This is really a practice and if you do it consistently you'll notice improvements across the board. 

So when you interact with someone you'll notice your ego kind of takes control sometimes, this is because you're aware that someone is listening and potentially judging you (most likely they're not and they're worrying that you're judging them). So the mind will start going into the mode it's been used to, this could be things like trying to prove to the person you're what you want them to think you are, whether it's smart, business like, spiritual whatever. Your intention is to prove to the person your that thing and not to just relax and have a conversation with them, so what happens is you don't focus on what they say too much just about what you say. This is just one but there are loads of things your mind might do automatically, you may find it more pronounced say with parents as your mind is used to reacting to them in a certain way, it could be that you want sympathy, praise, even negativity from them because thsts the dynamic you're used to. 

So the practice is really to be aware of all these things your mind might be doing and just watch them without reacting. Once you become aware of what your particular mind habits are, it becomes easier to not react to them in the situation. Also be aware that you are interacting for the sake of ineracting and being in that moment, not to get whatever your mind/ego wants from that person. 

[Truth]

@mystic

This is good, your slowly realizing how asleep you actually are, and realizing how much you're triggered by the external environment. This is where understanding of awareness and using things like meditation allowing you to detach and not get sucked into the content of thoughts and building this muscle of being able to re-focus your mind to the present moment among other things, Leo has a video on understanding awareness and also a mindfulness meditation video and a bonus I'll mention is "how your mind distorts reality" the more you gain awareness about how you go unconscious the easier it is to be mindful.

Edited May 8, 2016 by Truth

[mystic]

Thank you all for your replies. You really help a lot. Of course I hope that Leo will write his opinion on this.

The reason for asking this is because when I interact with people that I am not familiar with I feel too much pressure. Too stressed. And if these people are more than one the pressure grows bigger and bigger.

I believe that finding a way to remain mindful will help me overcome this pressure.

[Corte]

Another thing to keep in mind is people will automatically "like" you more and open up more easily the further you work in this area. Less pressure inside, less pressure perceived by the others, less pressure thrown back at you. Remain a peaceful true and loving person and people will be attracted to that, making much more easily flowing interactions!