Becoming Ruder As I've Become More Extrovert

[Rocky]

As part of improving myself as a person I've went from having moderate/severe social anxiety, generalised anxiety and depression, where i was very introverted, to becoming more confident and outgoing in a period of about a year now. I've noticed that since I've turned from becoming very introverted to extrovert I've become ruder, saying really dark and nasty things most people wouldn't say and i do this subconsciously, to the point that i do it to friends when having banter.

I feel this has something to do with my college learning environment combined with Brittish cultural conditioning  (if that makes sense) to some degree, and as my classes are very male dominated in fact there are no women in any of my classes and the students and teachers are having a lot of banter and so it seems necessary that i have to adapt to the situation by doing the same, and I've got pretty good at it but to those outside of college I believe I appear more arrogant and rude, and that it has caused my ego to excel in certain aspects at least.

On the one hand (this could be the ego talking but) I feel this adaptation is necessary to get through college, but on the other it's become hard to suppress outside of college and i just do it subconsciously and I'm concerned that when I move to another country like the Netherlands for university this year, i'll come across as being really rude and arrogant.

I just don't know how to fix this issue, because i feel I'm becoming something i don't really want to become but the adaptation feels necessary to be socially excepted and to not get picked on at college at the moment. 

Is it possible to get a good balance between the two?

[Ajax]

You're progressing just fine. If you recall Leo's description of the 4 stages in his victim video, you will remember that the 2nd stage is the fighter stage. The next stage is the creator stage, so just focus on that one. Keep meditating, reading, thinking, practicing and  whatever else you do...you will graduate soon enough. In the meantime, appreciate the accomplishments that come with overcoming the victim stage.

Edited May 8, 2016 by Ajax

[Rocky]

@Ajax Oh yeah I hadn't watched it until you mentioned it but that does make sense from what leo has said now that I have watched the video, thanks for the advice