I find people boring, mediocre and predictable

[unborn_chicken]

I know this is gonna come out quite egotistical, but hear me out for a minute.

I am a 21 year old man, a working web developer (programmer), just about to graduate from college. I speak two languages, (Spanish and English), I play music; Piano, drums, I sing, produce and compose music. I stay fit doing calisthenics and try to read habitually to learn about the world and about other people, and to sophisticate my use of language and therefore, my thinking process. I of course care about self-development and 'spirituality', and while I'm not by any means enlightened, I have had a couple psychedelic experiences and I do wonder what the fundamental nature of this thing we call reality is, just about every other hour.

So those are some things I can say about my persona, but man... When it comes to interacting with other people, and especially when trying to escalate and dig in deeper to get to know their core beliefs about life, I just find my myself so incredibly disappointed. I just can't seem to come across anybody I find fascinating or the least bit interesting. I mean, people don't really appreciate art and beauty, they don't really develop (or at least not consciously), they don't question themselves or wonder about reality, They mostly just seem like mindless robots of capitalism and pop culture. And It's not that I can't cope with people, I'm fine with that, I can blend in fine and play their social game. It's just that I can't never really seem to touch in conversation the subjects that really matter to me. And whenever I try to even hint at these subjects people just don't know how to react, they either ignore completely the fact that the subject was mentioned, they don't ignore it but have nothing to say about it, or they simply just don't get it at all. And they just go back to talking about their boring crap.

And I know what you're thinking: Man... don't you think you're being a bit pessimistic? I mean, you're probably just not looking in the right places, interacting with the right people, or simply just haven't looked enough, or deep enough. Things to which I would absolutely agree, which is where the 'actual' conflict of this whole thing comes in: I live in a small, highly indoctrinated and deeply catholic city in a third world country in Latin America. We don't have anything like cultural variety here. People here are just the way they are, behave the way they do, and if anybody doesn't (which is rare), it's not because of any variety, but because they are an exception to a very well established norm.

I'm not trying to play victim here. I know the obvious right choice is to just carry on, stop being a whinny bitch and keep grinding, keep working for the things I want (whatever that means) until I get them.

I guess I was just hoping some of you could shed some light on my story. Thank you.

 

Edited August 28, 2019 by unborn_chicken

[Aeris]

try to learn on this subjects now :

- upbringing & adulthood : contemplation, ask people what is the story behind them, imagine then being them. 

- biology & human brain / psychology / spiral dynamic / mbti

- consciousness / self inquiry / meditation 

- philosophy ( try at list 8 famous philosophers and read about what they have to tell about the world )

choose your favorits subjects, inquiry, find possible ways.

 

Accept to be a loner for a while then, work on self dev work maybe, watch more first work leo video

 

then in 4 years, you'll see this topic and find it non sense

Edited August 28, 2019 by Aeris

[Shir]

@unborn_chicken WOW...this was such a read for me. Being a Lady at 27 I feel the same way about personally connecting with men ect. I have yet to find someone who keeps me interested enough and doesn't bore me...I just need the mental stimulation so badly that I honestly find more peace in being alone. IDK if that's sad but that's the honest truth. 

I wish I knew what to say to help but maybe you knowing the opposite sex suffers the same, can help lol. 

If I could, I'd love a man that could just talk about philosophy, art, spirituality and everything deep and meaningful.

I'm really sick of men that seem to only hold the mental capacity to talk about dick and balls *sigh*

[MAYA EL]

20 minutes ago, Shir said:

@unborn_chicken WOW...this was such a read for me. Being a Lady at 27 I feel the same way about personally connecting with men ect. I have yet to find someone who keeps me interested enough and doesn't bore me...I just need the mental stimulation so badly that I honestly find more peace in being alone. IDK if that's sad but that's the honest truth. 

I wish I knew what to say to help but maybe you knowing the opposite sex suffers the same, can help lol. 

If I could, I'd love a man that could just talk about philosophy, art, spirituality and everything deep and meaningful.

I'm really sick of men that seem to only hold the mental capacity to talk about dick and balls *sigh*

I completely understand (well from a man's point of view)  I was blessed with a good wife at 22yr old so I didn't play the dating game very long however my work friends and all my other friends I continually watch them go through the relationship and single game getting there heartbroken about two to three times a year and being very analytical I watch for personality traits and possible issues with people because apparently I have a sign on my back that says free counselor LOL

And I can't help but notice the lack of depth and detail that these guys have to their personalities it's horrific it's shameful I mean these guys are 25 to 29 and to listen to a conversation from them is like what you would  expect to hear from a 12 to 14 year olds they have no depth to their Curiosities or desires and goals in life and is all they care about is money feeling good and getting laid it's very sad. On the flip coin though I have noticed that when somebody that's very passionate philosophical don't get in a relationship with somebody that fits their criteria like you mentioned above shockingly it does not turn out good LOL it's kind of like a firecracker relationship when they're on the same page the intellectual understanding and passion is through the roof but when one of them disagrees you need a bomb shelter to hide from them LOL that much intellectual intelligence and passion Under One Roof is like owning a cobra LOL and I found it usually opposites seem to balance each other out and 90% of the time what we think we want in a relationship it's not what we actually need.

Just my 0.2$

[Shir]

2 minutes ago, MAYA EL said:

I completely understand (well from a man's point of view)  I was blessed with a good wife at 22yr old so I didn't play the dating game very long however my work friends and all my other friends I continually watch them go through the relationship and single game getting there heartbroken about two to three times a year and being very analytical I watch for personality traits and possible issues with people because apparently I have a sign on my back that says free counselor LOL

And I can't help but notice the lack of depth and detail that these guys have to their personalities it's horrific it's shameful I mean these guys are 25 to 29 and to listen to a conversation from them is like what you would  expect to hear from a 12 to 14 year olds they have no depth to their Curiosities or desires and goals in life and is all they care about is money feeling good and getting laid it's very sad. On the flip coin though I have noticed that when somebody that's very passionate philosophical don't get in a relationship with somebody that fits their criteria like you mentioned above shockingly it does not turn out good LOL it's kind of like a firecracker relationship when they're on the same page the intellectual understanding and passion is through the roof but when one of them disagrees you need a bomb shelter to hide from them LOL that much intellectual intelligence and passion Under One Roof is like owning a cobra LOL and I found it usually opposites seem to balance each other out and 90% of the time what we think we want in a relationship it's not what we actually need.

Just my 0.2$

@MAYA EL Aweee ! that's very sweet of you to share your 2 cents, I appreciate it  It's honestly comforting hearing that from another man rather than me feeling this alone on the issue. Your wife is VERY lucky to have a gentleman such as yourself! the dating game total is too brutal and shallow imo so you really dodged it. 

Your reply also made me feel very validated - I really do need a mentality stimulated man or else I seem to fight with them per se because I get emotional and they cannot seem to handle it.

It's funny because the ONLY man that seems to have captivated me in real life is my Therapist and he's super deep thinker, loving and it just hurts deep down because I know there is absolutely no chance with him (not to say there should be!!) but you get me. He has his flaws of course but somehow because I appreciate his depth of being, it makes me love him that much more. 

And, I totally get the free counselor part lol!!!

[ajasatya]

@unborn_chicken Look at you, bragging about yourself. What if the same could be said about you: "boring, mediocre and predictable"?

Truly amazing people don't bash people around them. Instead, they lead their fellows to Light.

[Shir]

@Moon

31 minutes ago, Moon said:

Girlll, i get the whole craving for "mental stimulation", I love having good, deep, thought and growth-provoking conversations with people who actually care about similar stuff to me. Sadly, I am in a confused place rn where i might just be "settling" with someone who i can't have many conversations with (sounds ridiculous i know)- due to many many factors like being stuck in a stage blue community/background(parents) that have restrictions on me

Hey girl!!

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that genuinely craves deep and thought provoking conversations with a partner. I'm sorry about what you're feeling and going through right now with yours - in all honestly if it isn't working ouy, please know you can do better by choosing to make yourself happy. I think it's healthy to leave something or a situation that doesn't serve you or meet up with your needs...just my 2 cents!

[outlandish]

10 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@unborn_chicken Look at you, bragging about yourself. What if the same could be said about you: "boring, mediocre and predictable"?

Truly amazing people don't bash people around them. Instead, they lead their fellows to Light.

Yup 

@unborn_chicken don't take it personally though, it's a mistake many people have at your age. I know I felt like you do when I was 21. It took me a while to realize that this is a completely self-centred delusion. It's narcissism.

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

Move out to a bigger city and make new friends. I live in Argentina, and even though it's difficult to find people to connect on an intellectual level, I connect with people on an emotional and playful one.

Enjoy yourself and other people more and stop judging. It's not healthy for you

[joeyi99]

@Shir Those types of guys are right here on the screen your staring at lol

[Leo Gura]

On 8/28/2019 at 5:31 AM, unborn_chicken said:

I live in a small, highly indoctrinated and deeply catholic city in a third world country in Latin America. We don't have anything like cultural variety here. People here are just the way they are, behave the way they do

This right here is your problem.

Take ownership of this problem and fix it.

Move to a city which has the kind of vibe and people you like.

Of course some backwater town in Latin America is gonna be filled with very traditional stage Blue people. Create a plan for moving the fuck out. Go where the cool peeps at Getting there will be a great growing experience for you. Don't do it for them, do it for you.

[TheSomeBody]

not all the intresting people are popular

[Shir]

21 hours ago, joeyi99 said:

Those types of guys are right here on the screen your staring at lol

@joeyi99 Oh you mean the deep thinkers? YES for sure!