Meditation Makes Me Feel Awkward

[Ross]

Hey people,

I just have a problem while pursuing meditation and enlightenment. For some reason I now feel awkward when socializing with people and often display awkward tendencies. Is this a major concern?

[cetus]

29 minutes ago, Ross said:

Hey people,

I just have a problem while pursuing meditation and enlightenment. For some reason I now feel awkward when socializing with people and often display awkward tendencies. Is this a major concern?

See this as a change and not a problem. Ask yourself-what has changed?

[Ross]

@cetus56 I fell like this is a change for the worse 

[Isle of View]

4 minutes ago, Ross said:

@cetus56 I fell like this is a change for the worse 

Tell us about it.

Why do you think so?

What got triggered in your social life?

 

~Chris

[Ross]

It's just that I'm not so savvy and confident like I'm used to being... @Isle of View

[cetus]

1 hour ago, Ross said:

 I fell like this is a change for the worse 

Why, b-c it no longer fits with the "social norms". And you feel awkward suddenly? Step back and look at what it is that is happening. Maybe your outgrowing something. If that is the case, yes there are going to be "growth pains" along the way.  That is the shedding of the old.This work is all about throwing out what has never been true.

Edited May 7, 2016 by cetus56

[appleaurorae]

@Ross If you meditate twice a day, try using one of your meditations for affirmations rather than clearing mind. Convince yourself that you are confident, amazing, that people love you, that you love yourself - find internal love.

Or maybe you just feel like this because your subconsciousness wants to pull you away from people you are around, maybe because they are negative and might restrict your path towards self-development?

[Isle of View]

44 minutes ago, Ross said:

It's just that I'm not so savvy and confident like I'm used to being... @Isle of View

Is/was there anyone who criticized your meditation practice?

 

~Chris

 

[Corte]

You may have simply become more aware of your body and your surroundings. Or maybe before you began, you ignored any urges of awkwardness because you were afraid of it, and now you allow yourself to feel what was there before. It also could be you are interacting with less ego and this makes you uncomfortable because it's not what you're used to. Just a few ideas. 

Keep heading forward in your practice and try to connect with people through truth and love and these feelings of change and awkwardness will dissolve. you should have a nice balance of inner and external worlds. 

[Jani]

When I walk home with a friend of mine from school, our walks have gradually become more awkward, or more like silent. I don't talk much and when there's pauses of silence, he gets sort of uncomfortable and will do everything to come up with something to talk about. Most of the talk we used to have was complaining and criticizing something or someone so when there's not much of that anymore, there's A LOT silence. It's just absurd how much of our conversations in life are about complaining, criticizing, gossiping and so on. When you drop that completely out and just become aware of how much it is happening around you, you might appear as a bit more silent and awkward to talk to.

[Isle of View]

24 minutes ago, Jani said:

When I walk home with a friend of mine from school, our walks have gradually become more awkward, or more like silent. I don't talk much and when there's pauses of silence, he gets sort of uncomfortable and will do everything to come up with something to talk about. Most of the talk we used to have was complaining and criticizing something or someone so when there's not much of that anymore, there's A LOT silence. It's just absurd how much of our conversations in life are about complaining, criticizing, gossiping and so on. When you drop that completely out and just become aware of how much it is happening around you, you might appear as a bit more silent and awkward to talk to.

Yes, lot of it is just unaware automaticity. Like a LP playing over and over again. 

To break the automaticity, you can ask the person (when you spot something he says over and over again): "Could you please repeat what you've just said?" And when he does: "Please could you repeat it one more time?" 
You could help him becoming aware of his automaticities.

This is something that we become aware of when we start becoming more aware of our minds. Generally people know no disctintion, many think "mind and me is all the same". They don't use their minds awarely, their life is run by their minds.

So, yes as @Ross said, one can feel ...

17 hours ago, Ross said:

awkward when socializing with people

... but actually it is an awakening process. Some of the automaticities have been lessened. 

And we may feel we loose the "connection". But it is good to unplug from this shit. There is no spontaneity in this automaticities, only repetition.

Just continue. It is more fun being spontaneous.

~ Chris

 

[Jani]

1 minute ago, Isle of View said:

Yes, lot of it is just unaware automaticity. Like a LP playing over and over again. 

To break the automaticity, you can ask the person (when you spot something he says over and over again): "Could you please repeat what you've just said?" And when he does: "Please could you repeat it one more time?" 
You could help him becoming aware of his automaticities.

This is something that we become aware of when we start becoming more aware of our minds. Generally people know no disctintion, many think "mind and me is all the same". They don't use their minds awarely, their life is run by their minds.

Yes. I'd also guess that it would require some open mindedness from the other person to get it as a hint of his unconscious behavior rather than just me trying to annoy him, right?

[Isle of View]

@Jani

Yes, it's a bad idea to directly point out to someone that he is not under control of what he is saying. The automaticities have lots of defense mechanisms.

But you can do it in a playful manner, without accusation, rudeness and stuff like that.

~Chris

[Moonflower]

I think it's because you are becoming more conscious as you meditate, so when you're in social situations you are more self-conscious of yourself and surroundings.