Painful thoughts emerging, advice?

[Wlangr]

These thoughts arises in me while browsing this forum:

 

 

-I'm far superior than you, you are nowhere near my level. 

 

-Law of attraction practices are unpure and not for a pure being like me. 

 

-Meditation is not for me, I'm to advanced to do that and waste my time. I have better practices than you. 

 

 

This is my emotional side of the ego. Obviously these thoughts are filled with pain and doesn't do much of a help.  When I come in contact with the thought I dissociate from my meditation practice, throw it out of the window and forget about it. It feels like a narcisstic wound. I'm running like a chicken from it. 

 

Any advice on how to lossen up these "beliefs" and accept/reintrigrate the underlying dense pain? What is this? Should I go for a therapist? 

 

 

 

 

 

[Charlotte]

They're all masks of fear ultimately. What is it you fear?

[Wlangr]

2 hours ago, Charlotte said:

They're all masks of fear ultimately. What is it you fear?

I fear love, myself, being good. I consider them weaknessess, I am afraid of being vulnerable. Ultimately I hate God, that's what I feel underneath this fear. 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Wlangr

[Charlotte]

Your self honesty is exceptional. That's half of the battle already won. 

Contemplate your fears @Wlangr and contemplate why you think they're 'weaknessess'

[loub]

Assess your growth and situation not by how it stands relative to where you perceive others to be. That's just a trap.

Feelings of superiority will inevitably arise here and there when browsing this forum because after all we can all just communicate so much through words, and there is more to people here than they can express. It is rather petty to compare yourself to an obviously incomplete image of another.

Now why do you guilt yourself so much for these feelings? My guess would be that you have a self-image that you fail to live up to from time to time. This creates conflict and friction.
It is easy to get lost in spiritual pursuits and experiences and forget about the necessary foundation. If you are petty and arrogant, so be it. But if you have a self-image of someone who is very spiritually advanced, you can't face that. There will be pain.

Much growth can be done at the foundation and your baseline of consciousness is more important than your peak experiences.
The petty, shallow and insecure self needs to be integrated, the ideal needs to be dropped for true growth.
I can very much recommend J.Krishnamurti on this topic. His Commentaries on Living can very well accompany you for a lifetime.

As @Charlotte  said, you have a remarkable ability for self-honesty. Use that and don't waste it on mental masturbation.

Let me ask you an all-decisive question: When's the last time you hugged you mom?

[Wlangr]

@loub

I am too attached to the top and avoid the bottom, . Will try J.krishnamurti.

I  hugged my mother  in childhood, i did hugg her sometimes a year ago but that felt painfull and i felt separated from her. From time to time i have a childhood urge to do it but a thought arises " Dont do it, you are grown up now, you have grown up things to do, you are not a child anymore but an adult go away" and i avoid it.

@Charlotte

I did not percieve or felt them as fears until now, it makes sense. Im in this feeling state still for a time and i´ll try to contemplate it when im trough.

Than you both for your answers.

[Andrew Rogers]

On 8/27/2019 at 7:50 AM, Wlangr said:

-I'm far superior than you, you are nowhere near my level. 

Yep, it is very funny to notice how some people are ranting about how they had let go of their ego and not they ARE BETTER then those poor, unenlightened mortals, who are living in a dream.

Self-improvement is an individual journey, like going to the gym, for example. Of course, someone who is going for a month would have less results, then someone, who is going for a year. But if the latest starts bragging about how he is better and knows everything, it certainly is a sign that he has some serious problems.

Edited August 29, 2019 by Andrew Rogers

[Jonac]

Those thoughts are pretty normal. Is rare not have them. When your ego star talking like this, just let it go and feel the vulnerability that comes after that.