Is Masturbation A Hindrance To Enlightenment?

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

For the last two years I was getting laid just about every other day it seems like. I was dating 3-4 girls regularly just about all the time plus always bringing new girls home. And then I found out about enlightenment and dropped the whole chasing girls thing. Stopped going to the gym. Now I'm weak, physically. Stopped keeping up my appearance so much. Stopped chasing girls. Now I only get laid once a week at most with my ex girlfriend who I still hang out with and she could decide to stop having sex with me at any minute. I brought this upon myself willingly because I'm obsessed with liberation now. That's the kind of guy I am. I go all the way in with my obsessions, to the point where my friends and family get concerned about me. But the problem is, I seem to be addicted to masturbation now. I can't really go more than 12 hours (24 at the most) without it. With extreme effort I can go 3-4 days, but it's torture and I sit there and play with myself right to the brink. That might be the problem but that's also part of the addiction. I hope to be liberated/enlightened/self-realized soon, or at least have a greatly diminished ego/mind very soon, and then these impulses and/or concerns probably won't arise. But for now, do any of you guys or gals who are enlightened or have had legit enlightenment or ego-death experiences think this is an impediment to my progress? Or should I just go ahead and try not to masturbate but not beat myself up if that doesn't go well and just continue my spiritual work? Also, if you guys have real tips on how to quit this weak-minded habit that would be awesome! Thanks

Edit = it might be worth mentioning that I might have an unhealthy obsession with my ex-girlfriend. Alot of the times when I'm masturbating, I'm thinking about her having sex with other guys. See when I was going full force into the whole getting laid thing, she was like my main girl and she was seeing other people too which she was allowed to of course, but for some reason it tore me up inside like crazy. I guess I loved her. So then we got together officially and I just couldn't trust her because I knew what she used to do and because she was kind of a socialite whereas I'm actually a homebody. So now we are just friends with occasional benefits and I don't know if I can handle it. Jealous thoughts about her and other guys dominate my mind and when I'm masturbating I'm usually thinking about her getting nailed by some douchebag. And then I feel like a lame cuckold. Sometimes I wonder if I should even be around her until I get over these emotional problems. But maybe that's another topic. Or maybe not. Idk

Edited May 7, 2016 by Shab-e Ma_araj

[Henri]

@Shab-e Ma_araj To my opinion you`d better stop conceptualizing about enlightenment.

Just move on with masturbating and exposing all those details, may be just try to find another community.

The chance that you found a new way to enlightenment called `masturbating towards liberation` is very unlikely. 

[appleaurorae]

Tips for preventing masturbation:

• buy chasteberry, eat it and/or make tea from it, this will work for several months, but after some time your tolerance will rise and it will stop working
• be more positive about yourself, keep on positive thoughts
• stop watching porn for the sake of it
• don't look on girls' breasts, legs, butts, rather look into their eyes
• find a true passion
• meditate
• believe that you can win with it

After you follow these steps (maybe except chasteberry) you will need to give away sexual tension once a week or something.

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

13 hours ago, Henri said:

@Shab-e Ma_araj To my opinion you`d better stop conceptualizing about enlightenment.

Just move on with masturbating and exposing all those details, may be just try to find another community.

The chance that you found a new way to enlightenment called `masturbating towards liberation` is very unlikely. 

@ Henri - I don't understand what you mean

@ everybody else - thanks for the replies

Edited May 8, 2016 by Shab-e Ma_araj

[Emerald]

On May 7, 2016 at 8:07 AM, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

For the last two years I was getting laid just about every other day it seems like. I was dating 3-4 girls regularly just about all the time plus always bringing new girls home. And then I found out about enlightenment and dropped the whole chasing girls thing. Stopped going to the gym. Now I'm weak, physically. Stopped keeping up my appearance so much. Stopped chasing girls. Now I only get laid once a week at most with my ex girlfriend who I still hang out with and she could decide to stop having sex with me at any minute. I brought this upon myself willingly because I'm obsessed with liberation now. That's the kind of guy I am. I go all the way in with my obsessions, to the point where my friends and family get concerned about me. But the problem is, I seem to be addicted to masturbation now. I can't really go more than 12 hours (24 at the most) without it. With extreme effort I can go 3-4 days, but it's torture and I sit there and play with myself right to the brink. That might be the problem but that's also part of the addiction. I hope to be liberated/enlightened/self-realized soon, or at least have a greatly diminished ego/mind very soon, and then these impulses and/or concerns probably won't arise. But for now, do any of you guys or gals who are enlightened or have had legit enlightenment or ego-death experiences think this is an impediment to my progress? Or should I just go ahead and try not to masturbate but not beat myself up if that doesn't go well and just continue my spiritual work? Also, if you guys have real tips on how to quit this weak-minded habit that would be awesome! Thanks

Edit = it might be worth mentioning that I might have an unhealthy obsession with my ex-girlfriend. Alot of the times when I'm masturbating, I'm thinking about her having sex with other guys. See when I was going full force into the whole getting laid thing, she was like my main girl and she was seeing other people too which she was allowed to of course, but for some reason it tore me up inside like crazy. I guess I loved her. So then we got together officially and I just couldn't trust her because I knew what she used to do and because she was kind of a socialite whereas I'm actually a homebody. So now we are just friends with occasional benefits and I don't know if I can handle it. Jealous thoughts about her and other guys dominate my mind and when I'm masturbating I'm usually thinking about her getting nailed by some douchebag. And then I feel like a lame cuckold. Sometimes I wonder if I should even be around her until I get over these emotional problems. But maybe that's another topic. Or maybe not. Idk

It sounds to me that you're using masturbation and sexuality to avoid your negative emotions. Masturbation, in itself, won't keep you from enlightenment but an attachment and addiction to it will. I would wager (although I'm unsure) that you may have been looking for validation through sexual pursuit of women. It can temporarily mitigate feelings of low self-worth to feel that you are wanted by many women. If you then relate the sexual response of orgasm to the desire (but perceived inability) to be wanted, it makes sense that you would have jealousy and cuckhold fantasies. It's possible that you don't feel worthy enough to be the main character of your own fantasy. So, you put a stand in man there. But this exacerbates the feelings of unworthiness and you get jealous. 

Assuming that my assumptions are true, my advice is to look for the hidden beliefs which make you label yourself as being unworthy. Then realize that they aren't true. They are simply the meanings that you've placed upon yourself at particular times in your life that have just hung around. You alone control the meanings and values you place upon everything.

[vizual]

Not a hindrance at all. In fact, it can even be beneficial as long as you ask the following two questions during the deed: Who is the one that is masturbating? And, why is that woman getting urinated on by those two well hung black men?

Ok, scratch that second question

[charlie2dogs]

On 5/7/2016 at 10:22 AM, Henri said:

@Shab-e Ma_araj To my opinion you`d better stop conceptualizing about enlightenment.

Just move on with masturbating and exposing all those details, may be just try to find another community.

The chance that you found a new way to enlightenment called `masturbating towards liberation` is very unlikely. 

Henri, well said

[charlie2dogs]

On 5/7/2016 at 8:07 AM, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

For the last two years I was getting laid just about every other day it seems like. I was dating 3-4 girls regularly just about all the time plus always bringing new girls home. And then I found out about enlightenment and dropped the whole chasing girls thing. Stopped going to the gym. Now I'm weak, physically. Stopped keeping up my appearance so much. Stopped chasing girls. Now I only get laid once a week at most with my ex girlfriend who I still hang out with and she could decide to stop having sex with me at any minute. I brought this upon myself willingly because I'm obsessed with liberation now. That's the kind of guy I am. I go all the way in with my obsessions, to the point where my friends and family get concerned about me. But the problem is, I seem to be addicted to masturbation now. I can't really go more than 12 hours (24 at the most) without it. With extreme effort I can go 3-4 days, but it's torture and I sit there and play with myself right to the brink. That might be the problem but that's also part of the addiction. I hope to be liberated/enlightened/self-realized soon, or at least have a greatly diminished ego/mind very soon, and then these impulses and/or concerns probably won't arise. But for now, do any of you guys or gals who are enlightened or have had legit enlightenment or ego-death experiences think this is an impediment to my progress? Or should I just go ahead and try not to masturbate but not beat myself up if that doesn't go well and just continue my spiritual work? Also, if you guys have real tips on how to quit this weak-minded habit that would be awesome! Thanks

Edit = it might be worth mentioning that I might have an unhealthy obsession with my ex-girlfriend. Alot of the times when I'm masturbating, I'm thinking about her having sex with other guys. See when I was going full force into the whole getting laid thing, she was like my main girl and she was seeing other people too which she was allowed to of course, but for some reason it tore me up inside like crazy. I guess I loved her. So then we got together officially and I just couldn't trust her because I knew what she used to do and because she was kind of a socialite whereas I'm actually a homebody. So now we are just friends with occasional benefits and I don't know if I can handle it. Jealous thoughts about her and other guys dominate my mind and when I'm masturbating I'm usually thinking about her getting nailed by some douchebag. And then I feel like a lame cuckold. Sometimes I wonder if I should even be around her until I get over these emotional problems. But maybe that's another topic. Or maybe not. Idk

Bud i hate to be the one to tell you this but you arent going to be enlightened anytime soon.

[Joyboy]

Read Mastery of George Leonard. There is no quick , hot and 'soon' fix for things and I see this is your problem.

[Donald]

There's nothing wrong with masturbating per se , but ask yourself why your doing it , and the answer will be ( if you're wise enough) that's a craving!!!

6 hours ago, 7oo13ad said:

Read Mastery of George Leonard. There is no quick , hot and 'soon' fix for things and I see this is your problem.

1000+ hours , careful and focused work , there is no " short cut" to it.

[Ayla]

no.

[Psychonaut]

Everything depends on how you do it and what it serves you.

If you are mindful you can observe when the urge to masturbate arises and what caused it. After this investigation you can decide if you still want to do it. If you are mindful you will get the answer at some stage, so don't worry.

I used it as a tool to release tension and stress accumulated during the day. So I let go of it. 

[CA19]

Masturbation isn't a hindrance to enlightenment.Over-masturbation is.When you find yourself masturbating out of boredom and avoid other negative emotions then that can get in the way of enlightenment.

A rule of thumb that I use for myself is that if I can get at least a few morning woods per week and can get hard with thought alone,then I will proceed to masturbate.If not,then I will leave it for another day.

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

I have been experimenting with NoFap for a while and in a nutshell YES IT IS. I just relapsed and this has happend a few times. After my relapses my meditations feels so fucking creamy and dumb and lazy. But during the time I haven't relapsed I have gotten the dicipline to meditatie like 6 hours per day (I really don't have a life hehe). The monks and yogies really knows what they are doing. Celibacy really fucking works, try abstaining for about 2 weeks and meditate a lot then go back to normal and see it yourself.

Of course you don't have to stop masturbaiting and feeling guilty about it dosn't help either.

[Goliath]

I think it can be very helpful to not masturbate. You will feel way better about yourself and have more energy and motivation to do just about anything. It's ok to do it in moderation but i think you should definitely quit porn. If you find it hard not to masturebate just try to get your attention to something else, be around people, and dont arouse yourself. Btw there is a great community on reddit called NoFap, you should check them out.

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

On ۱۳۹۵/۲/۲۴ ه‍.ش. at 7:04 PM, Emerald Wilkins said:

It sounds to me that you're using masturbation and sexuality to avoid your negative emotions. Masturbation, in itself, won't keep you from enlightenment but an attachment and addiction to it will. I would wager (although I'm unsure) that you may have been looking for validation through sexual pursuit of women. It can temporarily mitigate feelings of low self-worth to feel that you are wanted by many women. If you then relate the sexual response of orgasm to the desire (but perceived inability) to be wanted, it makes sense that you would have jealousy and cuckhold fantasies. It's possible that you don't feel worthy enough to be the main character of your own fantasy. So, you put a stand in man there. But this exacerbates the feelings of unworthiness and you get jealous. 

Assuming that my assumptions are true, my advice is to look for the hidden beliefs which make you label yourself as being unworthy. Then realize that they aren't true. They are simply the meanings that you've placed upon yourself at particular times in your life that have just hung around. You alone control the meanings and values you place upon everything.

I found this to be very insightful. Thank you for taking the time to write all this out. I'm going to re-read this and contemplate it some more

[Shab-e Ma_araj]

On ۱۳۹۵/۲/۲۵ ه‍.ش. at 8:54 PM, charlie2dogs said:

Bud i hate to be the one to tell you this but you arent going to be enlightened anytime soon.

I see what you're saying bud. I have a lot of attachments. But on the other hand, I have been known to make extremely fast progress in all my worldly pursuits. Hopefully it will be the same with the spiritual/enlightenment stuff

[Emerald]

On May 26, 2016 at 10:40 AM, Shab-e Ma_araj said:

I found this to be very insightful. Thank you for taking the time to write all this out. I'm going to re-read this and contemplate it some more

You're welcome. I hope that it's helpful.